Get the guts to spill the beans
Click here to watch FML in live!

Submit your FML story


Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (19497) - you totally deserved it (57676)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Sign up for more!
Share on Facebook
ReTweet

More FMLs?

wtfdreams's life also sucks

karmasabitch also deserved it

Comments

OOOOHHH NO!

#1 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:06am by youaresofucked

x_x Argh. You weren't too careful there were you?

#2 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:06am by TwistedDaydream

brutal

#207 - On 02/23/2010 at 9:23am by novakman

how often does your mom rub your "very erect penis"? ur instinctive reaction freaks me out

#3 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:07am by dmipotc

This comment has been moderated.

#4 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:10am by Chowderhawk

WTF are you still with the girlfriend!? or....with mummy?

#5 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:12am by Davidscd

lol, that's just creepy.

#6 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:12am by 24788

I'm sure it could happen to the best of us...

#7 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:15am by connerfusion

Ooh, that's gonna be difficult to explain. DX

#8 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:16am by neverland

Think Dear...Think!

You won't be waking up to anymore early morning surprises thanks to that!

#9 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:19am by readme

Erm.... why would you call out your mother? That's incest, man.

#10 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:20am by circayouandme

#4 Serves you right? Implying he had a choice, had that happened?

#11 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:22am by arienh4

You should follow by saying: "Who's your daddy?"

#12 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:23am by Blanadestroyer

Creepy.

#13 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:23am by troubledshampoo

Someone has been spoiled as a child...

#14 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:23am by Cheatx

#12, Blanadestroyer, that was perfect. Thank you for that lol

#15 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:31am by Suckfail

You know it could always be worse.

For instance, instead of saying mom you could have said..."Grandma?"

#16 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:33am by stonerchu

I think it would have been worse if he said "Dad?"

#206 - On 02/14/2010 at 3:18am by flyingkoalas

Ewww.

#17 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:36am by HeyyyBrahhh

Oh man that's hilarious. Sucks to be you

#18 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:39am by tomdrc12

HAHAHA!

well if i was your girlfriend i would laugh EXTREMELY hard and never let you forget about it. i might be a little freaked out but not enough to break up with you or anything.

sucks but funny. hopefully everything worked out ;)

#19 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:50am by whateverrrr

LOL. Sucks to be you.
That is downright weird.

#20 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:51am by hk

Lololol. XD!

#22 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:59am by Curtieeeez

Thats so sweet, you recall your Mom smelling like peppermint.
But not so cute, that you thought your Mom was rubbing your....

#23 - On 05/17/2009 at 7:00am by imsleepingbeauty

I love how people are saying "That is your reaction to your penis being rubbed?" and other such things when he clearly states in the FML that it was due to the peppermint. The mind boggles...

Also:

"Today, I decided to surprise my sleeping boyfriend by rubbing his penis. When he woke up he called out "Mom?" FML."

#24 - On 05/17/2009 at 7:02am by Weevil

Lol I just accepted this one.

#25 - On 05/17/2009 at 7:07am by tatertot8284

You are one sick & twisted individual. If your girl hasn't dumped you for something like that you should marry her!

#26 - On 05/17/2009 at 7:10am by um_duh

Ahaha, this site is just one big Oedipal confession booth, isn't it?

#27 - On 05/17/2009 at 7:13am by plethora

that is fucked up

#28 - On 05/17/2009 at 7:19am by sdawl

ew. why the fuck would you think it was your mom?

#29 - On 05/17/2009 at 7:21am by JADEstokesxo

BRB... LoLing forever.

FYL!!

#30 - On 05/17/2009 at 7:29am by Jackthestripper

At least you didn't say "Daddy".....

#31 - On 05/17/2009 at 7:43am by buddy51

I wish my gf wakes me up like that... fudge.

#32 - On 05/17/2009 at 7:45am by rubbingAlcohol

hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

#33 - On 05/17/2009 at 8:02am by roronoazoro

Wow that's embarrassing

#34 - On 05/17/2009 at 8:06am by crownme

Well, its safe to say that that relationship isn't gonna last any longer. But on the up side I do understamd you reaction.

#35 - On 05/17/2009 at 8:07am by MxTori

Haha #16 too true

#36 - On 05/17/2009 at 8:16am by Djmh17

#29, obviously he didnt think it was his mom rubbing his dick.
he said mom because he smelt peppermint and was prolly still 3/4 asleep while saying that. so you cant really blame him for saying it. worse shit has happened.

#37 - On 05/17/2009 at 8:27am by DieselGirl

Well I hope you explained it to her.

#38 - On 05/17/2009 at 8:28am by chakrabs

Ooh! That's hot!

#39 - On 05/17/2009 at 8:32am by pancakelover

Cute how you remember your mom~ :3

#40 - On 05/17/2009 at 8:37am by Dude

FAIL

#41 - On 05/17/2009 at 8:40am by MyNameIsAudrey

Lol.
Have fun explaining.

#42 - On 05/17/2009 at 8:40am by koda

Well at least if SHE dumps you... you'll still have your mom to rub it for you XD lol sucks though...

#43 - On 05/17/2009 at 8:41am by mcrpatd

THAT'S gonna take some 'splainin.

#44 - On 05/17/2009 at 8:51am by aback

first of all ; it's both pathetic and scary that your mom was the first person you thought of..

second of all ; why in the world would your mother be rubbing your 'very erect penis' ?

#45 - On 05/17/2009 at 8:53am by ashbaby010

Funny how the high and mighty among us are so confident in their clarity of thought in the morning. Particularly with a hand rubbing one's genitals.

Your girl is a tightass. You should drag her out of her comfort zone more often.

#46 - On 05/17/2009 at 8:53am by Aryss

I'm the one with an Fd L in this scenairo. My husband regularly calls me mumsy while WIDE AWAKE, and calls his mother by my name/nickname. We have no sex life because of it.

#47 - On 05/17/2009 at 9:02am by wordgirl

lol yeah that probably put her off a little but I doubt she'll go ending a 3yr relationship over it. People seem to think you get dumped for such trivial stuff on FML, I'm with #19, I would just laugh so hard. I am used to hearing people talk crap when half asleep though, one time I woke up and called out "Blanket of Meat"!

#48 - On 05/17/2009 at 9:07am by mogwae

...

Freud was right! Congratulations on being living proof of the Oedipus complex!

Now dump your girlfriend, kill your father, marry your mother, and then gouge your eyes out.

#49 - On 05/17/2009 at 9:44am by kneegrow143

Hahaha. Oh wow. Don't worry too much, it will be hilarious in retrospect.

#50 - On 05/17/2009 at 9:45am by elfuzzo

Hahaha I completely understand that's a confusing way to be woken up...waking up is confusing anyway. FYL!

#52 - On 05/17/2009 at 9:49am by LuckyCharms

OMG...creepy

#53 - On 05/17/2009 at 9:50am by trop

That sux! At least u really didn't do nething with her for real.......rite?

#54 - On 05/17/2009 at 9:51am by darkmis1

Um.
One question:
Why would your mom be rubbing your penis?...

#55 - On 05/17/2009 at 9:52am by woah_dang_baby

Agree with #3. Moms don't really give their sons a handjob.

#56 - On 05/17/2009 at 10:01am by lifesagamble

As someone who's received a hand-job while asleep, I can say that I totally see how this happened. When you wake up like that, you have no idea what's going on for the first few seconds.

#57 - On 05/17/2009 at 10:06am by ZDrache

All I can hope is that when the OP said that - he was hastily making an attempt to remove himself from the hand. And not saying 'mom' in an inviting way, or in any kind of enjoyment. Otherwise, enjoy your break up :/

#58 - On 05/17/2009 at 10:12am by Frisbee

Dude! If you have a GF why would you assume it's your mom?!?

#59 - On 05/17/2009 at 10:29am by ljuwaidah

You totally deserved it for thinking that your mom would ever do something like that.

#60 - On 05/17/2009 at 10:43am by cheese1756

Plethora: soooo true haha.
I bet your girlfriend won't smell like peppermint anymore after you explain that! Hahah this is classic!

#61 - On 05/17/2009 at 10:56am by kristina3514

Wow!! How the hell did you-- damn...

#62 - On 05/17/2009 at 11:08am by TheMusician260

Hahahahahahahahah; WOOOOOW!
xDD
So your reactions to your "very erect penis" is to call out your moms name!?
Pretty kinky!
xDDDDDD

#64 - On 05/17/2009 at 11:12am by lilbean894

LOL your gf has endless jks on you now, could you imagine the girl version to this? “Today, I woke up to a masculine hand rubbing my very wet pussy, and a man's aftershave fragrance. I called out my dad’s name instinctively, recalling how he always smells like that. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking boyfriend of three years. FML
....... he then smiles and says who’s your daddy.

#65 - On 05/17/2009 at 11:22am by UncleverName_FYL

INCEST

#66 - On 05/17/2009 at 11:26am by Duckasaurus

Looks like Freud was right.

#67 - On 05/17/2009 at 11:28am by purple_riot

OOOOH DAMN

#68 - On 05/17/2009 at 11:30am by Panicattackx5

lmfao@ #12. perfectttt responsee.

#69 - On 05/17/2009 at 11:38am by type_fabulousxo

if that doesnt make ur "erect penis" hide in his garage idk wat the hell will.

#70 - On 05/17/2009 at 11:53am by jumpgurl23

Scent associations are stronger than most others, which I assume includes tactile associations...

#71 - On 05/17/2009 at 12:15pm by 52fremont

LOL @ # 14 and # 65.

I can get how this would happen; smell is very strongly tied to memory and you were totally disoriented upon waking up. She'll never let you live that one down though. She probably won't bludgeon you to death with it and bring it up at every possible reference though. she'll likely keep it for times when you're least expecting her to say something like that... and rest assured, all of her friend will know :D

#72 - On 05/17/2009 at 12:19pm by xarcanus

At least you didn't say "Dad". :P

#73 - On 05/17/2009 at 12:31pm by tams

#73 has got it right there

#74 - On 05/17/2009 at 12:43pm by CritDragon

#47 i hope your husbands mother was one of those teen moms otherwise he's comparing you to an old lady
FYL

#75 - On 05/17/2009 at 12:50pm by emer_helena

Hahaha LoL. That's great. I love how this is written too....and hahah @ #73....

#76 - On 05/17/2009 at 12:51pm by VegasMade702

morning wood ftw

#77 - On 05/17/2009 at 12:59pm by raged

yeah my first reaction when i wake up with someones hand on my dick is to call out mom?
jesus.

#78 - On 05/17/2009 at 1:03pm by guitardedman

I wouldnt worry, your mom gives better handjobs.

#79 - On 05/17/2009 at 1:05pm by sovereign

yeah she was probably weirded out by the fact that you called our your mom's name when someone is rubbing on your hard dick first thing of a morning....

#80 - On 05/17/2009 at 1:05pm by sassabrat

#80: Wow, thanks for the explanation, Captain Moron. I'm sure nobody here got it.

#81 - On 05/17/2009 at 1:06pm by UGADawg08

...uhm...you might want to talk to a psychiatrist about that...

#82 - On 05/17/2009 at 1:10pm by madame_malfoy

OMFG!!!! thats fawked dude.like lol.omg.if i was her id be like 0,.,0 and then leave.but thats just me.

#83 - On 05/17/2009 at 1:13pm by LaTuaCantante

sounds like an intro to a porno

#84 - On 05/17/2009 at 1:37pm by peopleplz2008

aww thats terrible, hope it all worked out!

#85 - On 05/17/2009 at 1:39pm by abbylovee

Well, that proves Freud right, doesn't it?

#86 - On 05/17/2009 at 1:40pm by louisianagrrrrl

Just be glad it wasn't your dad who smelled like peppermint...

#87 - On 05/17/2009 at 1:47pm by greeneye

How does one also forget that his girlfriend slept with him last night? You don't just default to your mom, unless you're a fucking weirdo. (or more likely, a phony FML.)

#88 - On 05/17/2009 at 1:47pm by Nakedsquirrel

ok, all those people who are calling him sick because he though his mom was rubbing him, need to go back to english class over the summer and learn to read, because it was the smell, NOT the hand, that made him think of his mom.

to OP you could have played it off as if you were calling her "mama" FLY

#90 - On 05/17/2009 at 1:56pm by waxstigmata

umm yeah does ur momalways rub ur penis

#91 - On 05/17/2009 at 1:59pm by ashlynnANDkelsey

It would of been epic if she would of said, "oh yes, I'm your mama, show your mama what she wants!"

#92 - On 05/17/2009 at 2:14pm by SergioFML

i can understand the mistake...

#93 - On 05/17/2009 at 2:21pm by kahaari

HAHAHA She rubs just like mom used to....

#94 - On 05/17/2009 at 2:22pm by seonfire

See...if you had've said "Mom" before noticing a hand was rubbing your "very erect penis," then maybe it wouldn't be so bad...

#95 - On 05/17/2009 at 2:23pm by myexsucks

Oh man that's pretty messed up. You had every man's dream of having your girlfriend wake you up like that and then you went and said "Mom?" That really sucks for you.

#96 - On 05/17/2009 at 2:25pm by xieh

ZOMG! That's my fantasy!

#97 - On 05/17/2009 at 2:41pm by Pancakes318

Today, I woke my boyfriend up by rubbing his penis and breathing in his ear. He immediately asked, "Mom?" FML

#98 - On 05/17/2009 at 2:42pm by All_My_Seasons

Freudian Fail.
Haha "Freudian Theory, when you say one thing and mean a mother"

#99 - On 05/17/2009 at 2:53pm by GoMeat4103

BAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA.
i feel sorry for your girlfriend

#100 - On 05/17/2009 at 3:05pm by life_is_life

I'm sure that all the people faulting the OP are perfectly aware of their surroundings upon being unexpectedly awakened.

#101 - On 05/17/2009 at 3:08pm by cthulhu1138

ewww, you sick fuck!!
you were thinking of your mother rubbing your penis?
what the hell is wrong with you!

#102 - On 05/17/2009 at 3:08pm by hreotc

didn't the handjob tip you off as to who it was...or did your mom give you a lot of handjobs too? YDI

#103 - On 05/17/2009 at 3:24pm by ch_kisama

ewwww does your mom normally rub your erect penis?
because thats just messed up your girlfriend must have been
grossed out when u said that lmfao......"mom"? really?

#104 - On 05/17/2009 at 3:29pm by hustler123

dude I honestly almost died laughing reading this
fyl

#105 - On 05/17/2009 at 3:31pm by RottenKid

can you say, "DUMBASS"!

#106 - On 05/17/2009 at 3:33pm by thepunisher

This is honestly the creepiest one on this site.

#107 - On 05/17/2009 at 3:50pm by Matt81

woooow....You brought the term "Momma's Boy" to a whole other level

#108 - On 05/17/2009 at 4:05pm by wickedgrl13

The fact your penis was being rubbed, you better hope mommy has NOTHING to do with it.

#109 - On 05/17/2009 at 4:13pm by BussellRishop

Most of you fail. Seriously. A guy that is just waking up and getting a handjob at the same time is not going to think clearly at all. He smells peppermint, he thinks mom, he asks for mom. Turns out that it's his girlfriend.
So to half of you guys:
Reading Comprehension fail.
Human understanding fail.

#110 - On 05/17/2009 at 4:20pm by Sleepwalker418

OUCH!

#111 - On 05/17/2009 at 4:44pm by Monty_Python

Wow thats a fail on your part. On the other hand your GF sounds awesome, but I think your in the dog house for a bit hahaha

#112 - On 05/17/2009 at 4:47pm by llSgtScopell

#110 says it all.

#113 - On 05/17/2009 at 4:58pm by shadow_child

OMFG, i'd react the same if i was ur girlfriend, LOL.

#114 - On 05/17/2009 at 5:06pm by CherryKillsAgain

Oedipus much?

#115 - On 05/17/2009 at 5:10pm by CapriceClassic

Sure the OP's mom might smell like peppermint but so might his GF's toothpaste or something, making her smell like peppermint, probably every night. And wouldn't the fact that someone is giving him a hand job overpower his thoughts of his peppermint-smelling mother? I would think so.

#116 - On 05/17/2009 at 5:29pm by mcsnelly

WHAT THE FUCK

#118 - On 05/17/2009 at 5:45pm by hakeemistheman

# 79 is absolutely brilliant! loooooooool

#119 - On 05/17/2009 at 5:57pm by dmipotc

Aaaaand,how often does your mum rub your "very erect penis?" !!! lol

#120 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:24pm by LunaVachonFan95

I think most people being woken up before they're fully rested would experience some hazy confusion. There's several moments when you're still mostly asleep and this dude focusing in on his sense of smell during this time is not that weird.

#121 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:25pm by imkendra

Rape much? I bet if this was a girl posting and their boyfriend had been fingering her, everyone would be screaming rape -_-

Fucking double standards.

#122 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:33pm by alex_vik

sucks for you dude lol

#123 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:44pm by Coolbeanies848

And that will teach you to say a name. You'll learn, your dream could have been about mom at Disney, or about a hot coworker, or even a hot chick on the show you were watching last night. Smile and never say a name (or relationship). It'll always get you into trouble.

I've woken up with Jennifer Love Hewitt a few mornings. It would have really pissed off the woman I was with if I called her Jennifer, just because that's how it fit into my dream. :)

sweetie, love, snookums, etc, are always good. Not saying anything, and letting her continue would have probably been your best course of action. Mom? Nah, bad choice. But you should both have been able to laugh about it. You don't need her, she has no sense of humor.

#124 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:45pm by jwsmythe

What the fuck. YDI.

#125 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:48pm by Dorri

LMFAO. This is NOT a YDI. It takes some people several moments to come to when waking up from a deep sleep. He felt the rubbing, but it probably didn't click. Then he concentrated on the peppermint and forgot about the rubbing. Waking up with stuff going on is very confusing, which is why this is so funny. It COULD happen to plenty of people. But holy shit, that's hilarious.... i can see the girl being like, MOM? Your MOM rubs your penis in the morning, too, huh??! hahaha.. honest mistake from sleepy confusion.... but hilarious. FYL... hope she didn't overreact.

Unless... you actually thought your mom was rubbing your penis. At which point, I'd be scared for you.

#126 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:53pm by daemani

Oedipus complex.
I can't believe I was able to include Freud in TWO comments today. :p
You people have some c-r-a-z-y dreams!

#127 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:56pm by The_Unspool

just be glad that it wasn't actually your mom who was doing the rubbing...

#128 - On 05/17/2009 at 7:05pm by hsm450

ohk, so let me get this straight. you feel someone rubbing your dick, and smelling like peppermint, and you automatically think of your mom? Seriously. just HOW often does your mom rub your erections?
i dont blame you're gf for being disgusted, that's a taddd disturbing, for real man. lol. next time someones rubbing your erection, play it safe and hope its NOT your mom.

#129 - On 05/17/2009 at 7:38pm by laugh_it_up

i was moderating some FML submissions, and i came acroos one where the person states: "i decided to give my boyfriend a handjob while he was sleeping, when he suddenly woke up and said 'mom?'"

lol i think u and ur girlfriend are more alike than u think!

#130 - On 05/17/2009 at 7:45pm by babymabye

#130, SAME!!! I was just moderating and I saw the same exact thing!!!! LOL.

Also, how could this happen? idk, but my mom wouldn't do that to me, and I don't think you should go by the smell.... maybe the fact that there was a hand on ur groin

#131 - On 05/17/2009 at 7:49pm by fmlAllStar7274

LOL! I READ THAT ONE TOO
haha.
i love this site :]

#132 - On 05/17/2009 at 7:56pm by JCho321

....ew?

#133 - On 05/17/2009 at 8:03pm by mehwhateverr

Your reaction disturbs me... and did she break up with you? I'll take her... lol

#134 - On 05/17/2009 at 9:20pm by KuroiKishin

I'm more concerned about your reaction than your girlfriend's...

#135 - On 05/17/2009 at 9:33pm by fmlreaderr

I'm just shocked that you can smell with your ear!

#136 - On 05/17/2009 at 10:33pm by theatrecookie

@#136: My sentiments exactly.

#137 - On 05/17/2009 at 11:16pm by monsooneth

seriously.... thats sumthing XD

#138 - On 05/17/2009 at 11:32pm by gisii1988

well... let me put it this way...

imagine if you had just taken the hand job under the notion that it WAS your mom. frankly i think if you did you would have a hell of a lot more problems than just thinking that it might have been your mom.

#139 - On 05/17/2009 at 11:42pm by ddragon292

Hahaha. Why would your mother be rubbing you down there? Whatever, different strokes for different folks.

#140 - On 05/18/2009 at 12:44am by Yeoman

did her hand have babies lol little pinkies!gross ur gf thot ur mom would rubb ur dick mmm yummy WAIT NO GROS!

#141 - On 05/18/2009 at 1:30am by lakeylove

LOL. incest = wincest?

#142 - On 05/18/2009 at 3:06am by xkaokaox

why the hell are so many people not making the connection that your girlfriend smelled like peppermint, and that your mom usually does? i mean, in our first seconds of waking up, we arent exactly thinking straight.

#143 - On 05/18/2009 at 3:55am by kloveee

Why would you think your mom was rubbing you? YDI!

#144 - On 05/18/2009 at 6:34am by Jennifer83

Hahahahaha!
#65 and #110.
I love you guys x)

#145 - On 05/18/2009 at 9:28am by MissCherrywhipx

You are one sick, sick puppy :)) This is great. Your life is SO very fucked. I'm bettin' she leaves you within the month.

#146 - On 05/18/2009 at 10:33am by Dogmaw

what the feezy

#147 - On 05/18/2009 at 4:58pm by baydestrian_girl

Instinctive? What...the...hell...."Something is rubbing my dick, probably my mom!"

#149 - On 05/18/2009 at 7:36pm by BurnedByLove

thats so awkward hahahahah fyl.

#150 - On 05/18/2009 at 9:02pm by x3xmandamoox3x

Maybe.... he was okay with the rubbing cause he knew it was his gf but then he could smell peppermint and wondered maybe if his mum was there too? :p

#151 - On 05/18/2009 at 10:29pm by nowayinhelle

Oh man.... AWKWARD.....

hahaha but so funny

#152 - On 05/18/2009 at 10:30pm by alyse0

I just threw up.

#153 - On 05/18/2009 at 10:41pm by thegoodlifeNOT

omg hahaha

#154 - On 05/19/2009 at 1:14am by wrift

Hilarious! Why would your mother give you a hand job? XDD

#155 - On 05/19/2009 at 1:58am by EziyaMinamoto

I agree with #37. She should understand that.

#156 - On 05/19/2009 at 4:10am by EVOL

dude...that's just a little too edipal...

#157 - On 05/19/2009 at 10:10am by The_Master

thats just creepy
1. why do you know what your mom smells like?
2. why is that the first thing that comes to mind when someone is rubbing your dick?

#158 - On 05/19/2009 at 12:06pm by rf6mohawk

Ok even if thats what ur mom always smelled like... the action would clearly mean its not your mom wouldnt it? if it doesnt, there is something really wrong, and if you did think that it was your mom for some reason... wouldnt u be shocked and jump right out of bed?? YDI you idiot lol

#159 - On 05/19/2009 at 2:40pm by Saphira

Oepidus Complex??
Cant let your mommy go can you?

#160 - On 05/19/2009 at 3:20pm by Kryssy

Maybe the guy in this FML is also the dude in these stories:

http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/13713/Penis+Problem/

http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/13840/Mothers+son+s+problem+Pt+2/

#161 - On 05/19/2009 at 3:48pm by deweyd8855

The only thing I got from this story is that you engaged in premarital sex. Does Jesus know? Because I am calling him now.

#162 - On 05/19/2009 at 9:51pm by neezie

That is VERY disturbing. Thanks for making me feel VERY uncomfortable.

#163 - On 05/19/2009 at 11:34pm by OhFiddleSticks

MOM? seriously?

#164 - On 05/20/2009 at 12:13am by sarahlee123

Oooooh, the hideous disorientation of sleep mixed with a friggin' handjob. I've never called my fiancée mom, but...you know, everybody has their fetishes...

#165 - On 05/20/2009 at 1:12am by Mickey2315

OK, you're girlfriend is giving you a handjob to wake you up first of all...
AND you call out your mom...
and assuming she hasn't left you by now...
If that girl isn't a keeper, I don't know what girl is.

#166 - On 05/20/2009 at 1:36am by philosopher

#166 u r so right, if i wake up to someone rubbing my penis the last person i would think of would be my mom

#167 - On 05/20/2009 at 1:46am by TP123

lol @ #3
dont ya think a hand rubbing your dick would overpower your memory of mom smelling like peppermint?!
i think id pay a little more attention to how it felt not what i smelt.

#168 - On 05/20/2009 at 2:29am by kaylaaa_

INCEST

#169 - On 05/20/2009 at 2:31am by ander3w

Incest much???

#170 - On 05/20/2009 at 3:11pm by ZEROGage

ur probably used to ur mom doin that to wake u up right wtf is wrong with u

#171 - On 05/20/2009 at 8:27pm by chaya12

wow, that's quite disturbing =\

#172 - On 05/22/2009 at 2:33am by GioChaos

eee-eeee--eeew! WTF??!! thats sick man! how is that ur instinct reaction!?!?

#173 - On 05/22/2009 at 3:42am by vela9002

I've said some stupid shit when I was waking up even if hes getting his penis rubbed theres also someone breathing on you and it smells like peppermint. you dont think about what you say when you wake up!!!

#174 - On 05/23/2009 at 1:04am by meganjoanne

Bahahh im not gonna lie, if i was getting any while waking up my first reaction would be to open my freaking eyes XD sorry man, but i think you lost here

#175 - On 05/23/2009 at 9:54am by podrummer9209

no worrys mate, could of been worse, she will forget it and before you know it, you will have another morning suprise :p

#176 - On 05/23/2009 at 2:29pm by beberezay

Even if she did smell like your mom, why would mom be rubbing your penis? x_x I'd be pretty disturbed too.

#177 - On 05/23/2009 at 3:45pm by DumplingWonder

Sucks to be you. :/

#178 - On 05/24/2009 at 12:13am by Belldandy911

haha . oh my !
I agree with numberr , 12 .
good answerr.

#179 - On 05/24/2009 at 1:20am by AleshiaLouise

A lot of people here are freaked out by your reaction to waking up like that but I think it makes sense. The sense of smell is supposed to have the best memory out of all the senses, and that includes touch. So since you smelled the peppermint, it brought up memories of your mom rather than memories of your girlfriend because someone was rubbing your dick.

#180 - On 05/24/2009 at 3:46pm by awesomedude09

Your mom used to fuck you?!

#181 - On 05/24/2009 at 4:53pm by mylifesucks97

you are a total ass. if u dont like ur gf then break up with her. dont call her ugly. If i were her i would be out that door ina hear beat. You are a sick person and u have so many problems i cant even begin to describe them.

#182 - On 05/27/2009 at 6:34am by raquelbrooke3

omg people he said it was the peppermint
honestly if someone was waking me it doesnt matter if they are spanking my butt, if im groggy i will call my mom first ; it's instinctive
she has woken me up for years and years
and this guy said the peppermint reminded him too
if you;re groggy anything can come out of your mouth and for me it's usually mom too
but you guys are just going overboard
it's embarrassing but it's not incestuous
sheeshhh

#183 - On 05/28/2009 at 6:37pm by mixedchick

X_X

#184 - On 06/01/2009 at 8:23pm by c0letraing0w

Whoa dude, I feel so bad for ya. At least ur sense of smell was leading to a memory of your mom. Sadly it was seriously the wrong time. Hope your girlfriend understands this confusion.

#185 - On 06/03/2009 at 7:34pm by Diligent17

That is extremely akward. Shit, that's all I've got to say.

#186 - On 06/08/2009 at 5:36am by gingermonster16

awkward, but agree with #183

#187 - On 06/12/2009 at 8:10am by silly_kate

mom? seriously? ffs man get a grip FYL

#188 - On 06/13/2009 at 3:11pm by gowzer90

Well at least u didn't say it was because she smelled like ur mom. Wait did u? Ewwwwwwww!

#189 - On 06/14/2009 at 12:59am by AsianHere

Wow, that's hilarious! #12 has got it right on!

#190 - On 06/17/2009 at 2:48pm by Luneth101

HA! You are fucked! I really hope you dont have any sick fantasies about your mum.

#191 - On 06/22/2009 at 8:49pm by sullenkael

lol who think about bout their mom while givin dem self a handjob awaKE OR asleep

#192 - On 06/23/2009 at 8:03am by LaaDimplez

Oh dude, not good lol

#193 - On 07/02/2009 at 1:49am by nickerbockers3

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

#194 - On 07/06/2009 at 8:42pm by bubblegumx3

why would u think your mom would be wanking u off

#195 - On 07/08/2009 at 11:01pm by shikaka

hahahahahaha!

#196 - On 07/19/2009 at 2:17am by regalitofatal

Did you call out "mom" in shock?

#197 - On 07/20/2009 at 6:28pm by Dynoblaze

ur a wierdo..

#198 - On 07/22/2009 at 4:23am by chunkymonkey69

soooo your mom would rub your dick?

#199 - On 07/25/2009 at 6:20pm by NiNA_BOBiNA

Aww poor you, that has to really suck, ur gf is probably thinking INCEST

#200 - On 08/02/2009 at 11:45pm by emikonaito

fair enuff u can't always think straight wen u wake up...
what stumps me though is how you smelt her peppermint breath with your ear XD (jks, for those idiots who'll think i'm serious)

#201 - On 09/05/2009 at 10:36pm by OP_here

lol #199 hahaha i would have just said to keep going

#202 - On 11/15/2009 at 9:53pm by ILoveMyLifeSoMuc

why would your mom be rubbing your dick?

#203 - On 12/01/2009 at 9:20pm by Laxloverr24

Wtf is wrong with yo, you ould of got a peppermint bj. think before you talk come one

#204 - On 12/27/2009 at 4:12pm by NeedATurnOn

You can tell the gender of people's breath and smell with your ear? YLIG.

#205 - On 01/25/2010 at 2:59pm by Compass

wow....

#208 - On 03/18/2010 at 11:29pm by Sniper3000

Add a comment

Top of the page

You must have an FML account to comment.

Don't have an FML account yet ? Sign up to FML!


Your account

Team's blog

FMyLife, the book

Available NOW on: