Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, it looks like I may have an STD. My fiancé and his friends went to Vegas two months ago. He says he's been completely faithful. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Turns out that's not quite true. FML
Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML
Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML
Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML
Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, I was about to enter a hotel with a friend-with-benefits. We then saw her boyfriend exiting the same hotel with another woman. FML
Today, I learned that you should never take a girl you meet at the club home, even if she looks like she wouldn’t hurt a fly. We had the most amazing sex ever and I guess the edibles we had threw me off-guard. I woke up to find her gone and my house cleaned out. I didn’t even get her name. FML
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML
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Top comments
H00K_M 8
You forgot to say she's pregnant.
meganasoarus 0
isn't anyone wondering why he gave her his address?
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Comments (163)
H00K_M 8
You forgot to say she's pregnant.
Sweetpea137 0
win
tweak111 0
someone forgot to pull out
payton3233 0
lmao.
clothesoptional 0
lmao & gross! OP please say you put a condom on before getting it on w/a stranger, who could've once been a man for all you know, while in Vegas of all places! Damn, why don't you go walk around barefoot in a methadone clinic while you're at it!
fakeaccountX 6
I hope herpes didn't come with her as well.
skittle68 0
Could have been a black-jack dealer or something- no necessarily someone dirty. He said it was a one night stand, not a hooker
mariahrawks 0
ha, sounds like something from the 70s show! minus pregnancy, add marridge.
Cjw1220 0
I married a hooker! How dare you, She's a nice lady!
Renesaga 8
^ *****.*
Daileyyy 0
then i realized I'm missing a tooth have a baby with me and I married a *****...
Daileyyy 0
how do u know the op is not a woman? hmm...?
FatGuyLover 0
122 if u didnt read correctly u missed the last quote saying "in HER hands" btw if op had it off in vegas how did the chick find out where he lives unless he told which would be unlikely
honeyluv0218 4
wrap it before you tap it
skittle68 0
Fatguy- she could have looked at his drivers license?
persianjr1 7
wow this is so fake
Naitsi 19
lol
P374RD3D 9
And be lesbian Homophobe
OBTrice 15
118 Hangover? Have you ever seen it cause you would get it if you did
payton3233 0
well that sucks
DerFuhrer33 0
I think you're cute....not
payton3233 0
well your an asshole.
ZeeBest86 6
that's mean...but really is that pic supposed to creep ppl out?
payton3233 0
my picture..?
MasterE56 4
haha that picture is scary as f***!
payton3233 0
...?
VinegarStrokes 0
How the **** did she know where you live!? That's kinda scary man... And yeah Payton they're all referring to you... I whole heartedly agree, as well. You should either change your picture or just get a new face all together. I think the former may be the way to go on this one.
Yeah_Thats_Me 0
It's just kinda scary, that's all.
GreatGeak 8
well either she changed her pic, or it looks just fine. I like it, and she does look cute. ^_^
Autoshot 9
<< can't say nuthin bad about the angel in my pic.
Bees_fml 0
Sucks that a night stand showed up at your house. Hyphens are your friends.
itsbuckyb 6
and your herpes
hawk515 0
that shit stays with you
Molkerei 0
not when you get it in vegas. true story.
PlastikSeraph 2
What do you think the suitcase is for?!
KaleidoscopePope 0
atleast it wasn't the cops..
Sweetpea137 0
now lets all sit and wait for someone to reference to The Hangover
itsbuckyb 6
^
DrAwesome 6
Brix have been shat.
Autoshot 9
Tell her "Too-da loo, mutha fuckaaaaah" as you slowly close the door.
MrsLender_fml 3
Did she bring baby Carlos with her as well?! Didn't want you to sit around and wait too long, there. (:
deven329 1
lol, JUST THINKING THAT!
luvdacowboys 0
hahahaa78."too-da loo muthafuckaaaaah" lovvve<3
Amaxwell 0
You just did.
pennies_lane 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
well maybe you married her.....so support the bitch!
makennamichelle 3
Ha ha habhabha ha ha ha ha
knibbsy 4
When you find someone else with herpes. HPV, and other incurable STDs, it's like a match made in heaven. This isn't an FML, it's the best day of your life because you found your soulmate!
knibbsy 4
^ May I ask why?
jose1760 1
what did you say?
stronghand0331 17
If he says it again, he'll get re-moderated, Jose. You really want to put him through that emotional turmoil? I think not.
BDTM 0
I got moderated and didn't say anything half as bad as most people say on this site.
Jeremiuh 0
Someone has themselves a new stalker!! Hahaha! Lucky you!
smokeymcpottt 3
Was the suitcase full of herpes?
VeeVengeance 0
nah. it was full of babies.
SuperRichFish 6
Dead babies, and mayonnaise.
magicalrubixdude 0
and herpies
meganasoarus 0
isn't anyone wondering why he gave her his address?
pennies_lane 6
well I wasn't untilled now, but now that you mention it, who gives a one night stand they pick up in Vegas their address? a dumb arse, that's who.....a dumb arse or a liar ;)
pennies_lane 6
*until
Jeremiuh 0
Maybe he took her back to his place for the night.
Jeremiuh 0
Orrr... paid the hooker with a check! Lol!
meganasoarus 0
he lives in Canada. that would be an expensive one night stand.
Jeremiuh 0
Ahhh... I see it now! good point! WTF!?!
LetsRollOut 2
It's the age of the internet, people! He might have mentioned his name and where he was from to her. That's pretty much all she needed.
Shanokie 2
I was but I figured she peeked his drivers license or stole a business card
pennies_lane 6
moderated? seriously?
meganasoarus 0
lol I know, pennies! ridiculous.
supermoumoute_fml 0
a stalker never got the address, he finds it....
Zombies_Attack 5
Hell yeah...
brownsugarbear 1
I was, actually. bet they got married.
jakeisawake 3
If she followed you all the way to Canada, then she deserves another ****.
lntreis_fml 0
+1
TkAfinator 0
+2
Yeah_Thats_Me 0
+3
nathan5 0
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