Health: Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I...

By oh no - 22/06/2015 20:58 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 475

You deserved it 5 283

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 551

You deserved it 5 930

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 468

You deserved it 4 808

By PissNTra - 19/07/2011 17:11 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house to meet her entire family for the first time. Trying not to be rude, I ate their 12-bean and chorizo soup. Now I'm stuck in the bathroom trying to unclog the toilet with no plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 906

You deserved it 5 263

By thanksmom - 09/01/2013 19:57 - United States - Tucson

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 636

You deserved it 7 780

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 379

You deserved it 4 048

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 394

You deserved it 48 833

By maniac11 - 11/10/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 499

You deserved it 6 582

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 285

You deserved it 7 523

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 960

You deserved it 7 914

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 09:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 750

You deserved it 10 094

pabj208 23

Tuesday 23 June 2015 9:00

Lock the door if you're doing weird shit (literally)

Koalax3 18

Tuesday 23 June 2015 8:59

That's the kind of story that you can mention to your grandkids 60 years later over eggnog

Comments

Cads1 24

Tuesday 23 June 2015 8:58

How Middle Eastern of you!

Marshallino 21

Tuesday 23 June 2015 9:32

I'm from the middle east (Lebanon) and I don't do this. Your comment is invalid, humiliating and hurtful.

Cads1 24

Tuesday 23 June 2015 9:39

I have had a holiday in the Middle East and have used a "squat hole". Have also see the signage in a western bathroom with a picture with a guy squatting on the toilet with a big Red Cross through it. Individual experiences may vary in that part of the world.

KabamWolf 22

Tuesday 23 June 2015 8:59

Maybe he's into that

FitFriday 32

Tuesday 23 June 2015 8:59

What a hoot!

ScarredVox92 16

Tuesday 23 June 2015 9:17

What do you call a magical owl? Hoo-dini!

Honest_Guy 10

Tuesday 23 June 2015 15:08

WHO could have seen that coming?

wavey1995 7

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:26

I see you watched vannos's new video lol

ScarredVox92 16

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:40

Yes I surely did. laughed way too hard.

Koalax3 18

Tuesday 23 June 2015 8:59

That's the kind of story that you can mention to your grandkids 60 years later over eggnog

bhfriday 9

Tuesday 23 June 2015 13:12

assuming his grandkids drink eggnog

boating_guy 33

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:37

Eggnog and bourbon*

bryan1271999 14

Tuesday 23 June 2015 8:59

Why wouldn't you lock the door? YDI

VeganDarkLight 31

Tuesday 23 June 2015 15:38

I've been to a lot of places where you can't lock the bathroom door (no key for example as the people living there are paranoid they or their children might get locked inside), so I don't think OP deserves it.

cadillacgal79 32

Tuesday 23 June 2015 17:56

Not all bathroom doors have locks, at my boyfriends house the rule is if the door is closed, knock first. Or if they do have locks but are broken (like mine) you also just knock first instead of barging in.

mandoalba 5

Tuesday 23 June 2015 23:21

They may not have locks but they could always put something in the way of the door like in my house I have a lock in my bathroom but people could easily unlock it with a fingernail so I I use the drawer by the door as a way to prevent the door from opening all the way

IAmzephyr 22

Tuesday 23 June 2015 9:00

that would've been awkward either way. FYL

DaEpicTaco 13

Tuesday 23 June 2015 9:00

Couldn't have they knocked first?

disbatch 14

Thursday 2 July 2015 5:52

It's there house, lock the door to shit? duh

pabj208 23

Tuesday 23 June 2015 9:00

Lock the door if you're doing weird shit (literally)

Steffi 26

Tuesday 23 June 2015 9:59

Maybe they don't have a lock on their door.

jerryj 27

Tuesday 23 June 2015 11:20

No lock on the bathroom door?

vikky538 28

Tuesday 23 June 2015 13:54

Or even if you are just shittting.

ohSNAPyall 26

Tuesday 23 June 2015 20:18

No bathroom lock? Then don't try out a new bathroom maneuver.

disbatch 14

Thursday 2 July 2015 5:54

Your reaching, poop.

juststephhere 23

Tuesday 23 June 2015 9:01

Locking the door is the first step in preventing this from happening again. If there's no lock, maybe sing really loud so they'll realize you're in there!

swanheart 35

Tuesday 23 June 2015 9:06

Sing or hoot. Whichever comes most naturally to op

Soparot 29

Tuesday 23 June 2015 9:08

In his situation, I honestly think singing while you take a dump is not that much less weird than what he did... the only difference is now everyone can hear him instead of just the dad seeing him.