Today, I have Hello Kitty band-aids on my nips because I dozed off while tanning and burned them extra crispy. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I discovered that I'm allergic to band-aids. I now have a band-aid shaped rash around a tiny cut on my leg. Oh the irony. FML
Today, it was lovely outside so I decided to tan outside. I burn pretty easily, so I put on sunscreen. I fell asleep on my side, so when I woke up, I had a massive burn on only one side of my body, with sunglass lines. Tomorrow, I have a job interview. I'm going to go in looking like a racoon. FML
Today, I fell asleep listening to my music and tanning at the beach. Not only did I wake up with a sunburn, but my iPhone had been stolen. FML
Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML
Today I got sunburned on my cheeks. This wouldn't be too bad if they were the ones on my face. FML
Today, I decided to take a relaxing shower. My face mask made my face break out in hives. While exfoliating, my nipples became chafed. Then I slipped and cut myself while shaving. FML
Today, my new bikini must be cheap as shit because I tanned nicely where I put on sunscreen, but where I didn’t apply it under the bikini I’ve gotten super red sunburn on my butt, my lady bits, and my boobs. My nipples look like the ends of red felt tip pens. FML
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
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Top comments
AmAzInG123456789 10
I hear if you add a little pepper, crispy nips can be a nice party appetizer.
JustKittyKat 24
Hello titty I dub thee "Bacon Nips"
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Comments (108)
greekk 21
cute bandaids at least!
applebramble 22
I'd use Stitch band aids!!
expectcriticism 13
no one cares what you would use although I'm wondering how long you'd have to lay in the sun for your nipples to burn that bad
AmAzInG123456789 10
I hear if you add a little pepper, crispy nips can be a nice party appetizer.
184886837272837 32
Do they taste like bacon?
1tsmenoah 20
Are they good for all party types and sizes?
mrlopez 13
Sure makes for good and crispy popcorn chicken
JustKittyKat 24
Hello titty I dub thee "Bacon Nips"
jsgervais84_fml 12
mmmmh.. bacon!
Mauskau 35
Ouch. Ouch several times over. Aftersun and moisturiser should be your new best friend.
crankawank 19
Aloe Vera is also really great! It feels really cool and refreshing on the skin.
Savner 16
Tanning is really bad for you.
dachayke 16
Oh.
I_cant_think 10
So are burritos, but I eat those like they're Jesus's dick cheese.
CallMeMcFeelii 13
People who tan don't get out ******* side enough. I know during the winter months we all look like ghosts, and I understand getting a base tan to prevent scorched skin. But tanning just to get looking "bronzed" is ridiculous. Go outside and enjoy the sun, don't lay in an ultraviolet booth for 20 minutes.
OptimusVader 23
But I tan so easily from just being in the sunlight. And I love laying in the sun and "tanning" by enjoying the warmth. : it's bad for your skin only in excess, regardless of being in a Booth or in the sun. The only difference is sunlight gives you vitamins.
zBLAKEz 23
26- I live in a place where the sun very rarely ever shows. The only way I can be any shade darker than ghostly white is to use a tanning bed. What exactly am I supposed to do then?
parism143 28
#50, self tan can be bought in bottles.
I_cant_think 10
So can diabetes.
CallMeMcFeelii 13
Your comment 56, for some odd ******* reason made me laugh my ass off. Thank you for that. To 50, why do you need to tan then? To "look good"? That's your own misconception of attractiveness, not your location. Any more questions?
littlekellilee 45
I totally agree. I'm so white the sun reflects off me like a mirror. It comes in handy when I need to blind someone on a sunny day. I don't tan because I prefer to rock the porcelain/non-melanoma look. Wasn't that the look geishas were trying to achieve?
andrewturtle 16
Fun fact: In Asian culture, to look pale is considered more classy and better looking. This is because tanned skin is associated with the working class that spent long hours under the sun in the paddy fields.
kiki9_fml 10
I like tanning because I feel good after a tan. I don't do it often, but when I do, I feel extra sexy afterwards. I don't care if other people think I "look good" or not, I do it for myself! :)
Sodapop40 21
Then just don't tan. I think being white and natural is better than having gross, leather skin when you're 50. But that's just my preference. Also, tanning can increase the risk of skin cancer by 75%
clue_me_in 20
Good for you 91! Being "pale" is no more "classy" or better than people who are born with darker skin, or people who want a nice looking tan.
T1A2Z3 34
We are all so different and there are so many conceptions of beauty. Why not just be you and wait for the person who's been dreaming about you?
JMichael 25
Are you the same girl who burned her boob with a hot pocket?
Never_Land 10
Sorry to hear that OP, but maybe you should be a little more careful from now on tanning
itsjusttofunny 8
ydi for getting a tan any way but the old fashioned way. pathetic.
crystalnight 19
There's no need to pay for a tan here in Texas.
junkman6 22
I don't care what anyone says tan lines are sexy! No one needs tanned nips!
Enslaved 36
Not all tan lines. Nothing attractive about a "farmer's tan". But will agree that some tan lines can be sexy. I once got a tan from wearing a triangle top bikini and later that night wore a long pearl necklace that looped around. My BF went crazy and swimsuit tan lines are now "his thing".
killinpoptarts 9
I disagree with the statement about farmers tans but to each their own I guess. But also it's not cool to look like a ghost on one part of your body and look like you got left in the desert for a year on the rest of your body. I think moderation is key on tanlines
clrichmond2009 24
34, agreed! I love a good farmers tan.:)