Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turdwaffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML
Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple of minutes in, I felt a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs, and being told that "everyone wets themselves sometimes." FML
Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML
Today, I was at the water park in Disney World when I felt something run down my leg. I thought that I just hadn't dried off all the way, but when I looked down, there was diarrhea running out of my shorts. FML
Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML
Today, I was at a water park when my stomach started to hurt. I didn’t think anyone was behind me so was I ripped ass so hard, I almost shat myself. However, there was someone behind me, and the look they gave me was disturbing. FML.
Today, I was at the water slide with my two sisters. As we got to the top, my sister wanted me to go first. As soon as I went to go down the slide, she lamped me right in the balls from behind, and pushed me down the slide. My other sister kneed me in the same spot 5 minutes later. FML
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML
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Top comments
woainishamu 21
This will be one hell of a story you can tell your kids when you're old. Oh wait...
TheVoicesTalk 3
The fact that OP said 'turd waffle' to describe the kid kills me.
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Comments (74)
rudy175 5
Lawl
AnthonyWheeler15 24
That hurts to think about, I'm so sorry to hear OP! Ouch!
xBethanyC 15
I'm sure that did nut feel good. that's probably groin to hurt for a while. that kid is a sack full of evil.
woainishamu 21
This will be one hell of a story you can tell your kids when you're old. Oh wait...
ocampo 6
I feel so sorry for you man.
Birdjr1995 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
The only reason I feel sorry for him, is because it must have made him stupid enough to think "turd waffle" makes sense in any sentence. Let's just hope that half-assed insults like this join the infamous ranks of "YOLO" and "swag".
outoftown 26
52 - I think we can cut OP some sack... this time.
teh3pictroll 8
52, Since when is YOLO an insult?
Melix 31
Even I felt that, and I'm a girl. Ouch, I'm so sorry to hear that OP.
LeafsGuy92 10
o_^ hmmm... And you're a girl huh?
x_the_lancer_x 13
Finally! Another rare girl that recognizes that a kick to the balls is like death to a guy..
theworldismad 10
most guys don't realize that it hurts for girls too. not as much as it hurts guys, but it is painful as hell
little_one 20
I've been told that getting hit in the balls is more painful than child birth... I haven't had to experience either but I can only imagine. Wouldn't that kids leg hurt? The life guards should have been paying more attention and keeping people away from the bottom of the water slide. Any water park I've been to make sure it's clear before someone else goes down. I hope that bastard is in just as much pain and got banned from the park.
TheVoicesTalk 3
The fact that OP said 'turd waffle' to describe the kid kills me.
Bakarra 22
Note to self: Do not read FMLs before eating, as it may cause pangs to the crotch/genital area as well as the possible visualization of a "turd waffle"
EnterSandman_fml 20
Turd waffle. Yet another new insult learned on FML and added to my repertoire. I think this one almost equals 'belligerent asscandle'.
calipilot227 16
Kids are like farts. You don't usually mind your own, but other people's are unbearable.
Welshite 39
Lucky you were at a water park. Not only did the water soothe you a bit, but you were able to float to your destination instead of painfully walking.
Rougeee 6
Usually the workers make everyone clear out of the pool before sending people down the slide. At least they have at all of the parks I've been to... Either way, definitely not OP's fault.
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
Right in the half baby producers.
Welshite 39
The half-baby producers... I can just imagine a child walking around with one leg, one arm, and sliced right in half right like one of Willy Wonka's horror props. God, I think there is something wrong with me.
jmacfan1 16
Oh my. #10 I think I'm going to hell for laughing at your comment
MEM0817 18
How does anyone deserve this?! "YDI for going to a water park!" Like really? What excuse could anyone have for YDI. People suck.
golden_warrior 23
Don't you know that to be "cool", you have to click YDI.
MEM0817 18
I guess I'm not one of the cool kids then... Haha.
Bakarra 22
I was scrolling down the FML app on my iPhone and my finger landed upon the YDI button. I can't take it back. I'm a terrible person :'(
Amama_fml 30
Happens to me all the time 28!
xStaciexLynnx 15
I voted FYL but I can see how someone could be like 'Well you saw it ahead if time, you shouldve avoided it'. Not my personal opinion but a possibility.
MEM0817 18
He said AS he was going down the water slide some kid stuck his leg/foot out. I'm pretty sure once you're already heading down a slide, it's pretty hard to stop the beauty that is gravity.
Catkam623 27
Cringing at the very thought.