Health: Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person...

By thatonesilentkidinclass - 04/05/2013 08:11 - Philippines - San Juan

Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 707

You deserved it 12 130

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Same thing different taste

By anon - 20/03/2015 21:43 - United States - Arlington

Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 528

You deserved it 4 370

By JenniWearsPrada - 20/04/2011 08:27

Today, I decided to start my exercise video routine. It's an African dance workout DVD. Just as I felt confident and motivated about getting in shape, I realized that my window was wide open and my neighbors were getting a front row seat to me waving my arms in the air like an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 964

You deserved it 26 270

Take it easy

By Endrit Begolli - 27/06/2023 00:02 - Albania

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 210

By Out of Shape - 16/08/2011 22:09 - Egypt

Today, I decided to start exercising. I almost passed out five minutes into the warm up, and couldn't even stand in the shower afterwards. I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 924

You deserved it 35 567

New day, same shit

By PickYourselfUp - 06/10/2014 03:17 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 900

You deserved it 8 652

Out of shape

By Anonymous - 05/09/2011 04:38 - Canada

Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 715

You deserved it 15 171

By Anonymous - 18/01/2015 16:34 - Ireland

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 957

You deserved it 20 682

By fat and alone - 05/06/2014 04:11 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 196

You deserved it 18 107

By xXfloatingshitlogXx - 03/11/2012 16:04 - Norway - Jessheim

Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 162

You deserved it 2 170

By Mark - 30/03/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 446

You deserved it 74 933

DocBastard 38

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:02

You're going to be a huge hit at the gym. I can see it now...The Gasmaster.

dr_snow_bear 29

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:02

A small start is better than no start. Good luck!

Comments

DocBastard 38

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:02

You're going to be a huge hit at the gym. I can see it now...The Gasmaster.

Pleonasm 35

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:10

Well just wait until he starts doing squats then!

rg350dx 29

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:20

The Gasmaster. Gettin' ripped while rippin' ass.

ElatedEarthling 15

Saturday 4 May 2013 17:56

The GasMaster: feelin' the burn... wait no, that's just from the Mexican food.

Nicholi124 10

Saturday 4 May 2013 20:09

How about the fartmiceter lol anyways good luck OP

mn_shr 22

Sunday 5 May 2013 0:18

That was a little mean, ******* hilarious, but mean nonetheless.

7yzzFML 17

Sunday 5 May 2013 13:18

OP you deserve it for getting so fat in the first place. But at least you're making a start.

Bootle 10

Sunday 5 May 2013 22:07

Hey like you say, at least you're doing something about it. Good for you, dude. I'm really rooting for you. Farts happen, especially when one exercises.

dr_snow_bear 29

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:02

A small start is better than no start. Good luck!

ogatasan 5

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:06

I agree. Congratulations to the OP for deciding to make a positive change!

MelTheGreat 23

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:27

That's true. At least they're getting their rear in gear.

Karma_Geddon 36

Sunday 5 May 2013 0:11

You jumped 10 times today, try for 12 tomorrow and don't give up! Everyone has to start somewhere OP

bjdog98 9

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:02

Aw don't worry, just keep trying :)

SamanthaCassieL 10

Saturday 4 May 2013 20:11

Exactly. We all gotta start somewhere :)

Dracoboxer357 35

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:03

Loud or not, everyone starts somewhere! Keep it up! ;)

Stalkerloo 11

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:04

Don't let that get you down, OP! Use it as motivation to get fit! Also, a great way to get started is by walking around your neighborhood. It's exercise and it's not super hard on your joints and stuff.

ComoEsJuan 24

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:05

'Fartin' to the Oldies'

Grauncho 27

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:51

Are you autistic

ComoEsJuan 24

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:55

No, I'm artistic, though... I think...wait. What was the question?

oj101 33

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:05

Use an elliptical machine, or a stationary cycle. It takes the pressure off your joints and is less strenuous whilst still burning as many calories as you would with running.