Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my mom celebrated a year's sobriety by having a couple of beers with her boyfriend. FML
Today, my uncle gave me a very expensive bottle of champagne at a celebratory family event. We were celebrating me spending one year sober. FML
Today, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. On new years, my mom called and asked what kind of champagne I want. FML
Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML
Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Today, my mum got upset with me for having my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML
Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML
Today, my wife of 10 years bought me a bottle of wine, a wine rack, and a wine accessory kit for my birthday. She knows I don't like wine. FML
Today, my roommate gave me a self-help book on alcoholism for my birthday. He's an alcoholic. I gave him that book around 8 months ago. FML
Today, my mom showed up completely hammered to a party I was throwing. The party was to celebrate the ten years that I've been sober. FML
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Top comments
Maddy9111 11
why dont you give it back to her on her birthday?
HitchHiker42 18
Open it while it's pointed at her face.
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Comments (119)
maz95 17
Monster-in-law is on the role!
onedayinamsterda 14
Your hubby would know and he'll treat you much better to make it up to ya. Cheer up!
DocBastard 38
63 - Because that's what married people do. When your spouse is upset, you cheer them up. It's really quite simple. Get it now?
Maddy9111 11
why dont you give it back to her on her birthday?
TylerBurden 21
Or on Christmas.
dre_bro11 12
Give it back as a Molotov cocktail.
ricars 5
41 I don't believe champagne is flammable.
Iknoweverything 29
Recovering alcoholics aren't supposed to keep alcohol in the house. Hence, the better solution is this: Every year you open it, don't say a word, don't even say "thank you." IMMEDIATELY dump the bottle and throw it away, and if she's there, maintain eye contact with her while doing this. (Bet she won't keep it if you're maintaining it.) And when she complains to everyone else, make sure to say "I wasn't trying to be rude, it was just for my well-being."
TylerBurden 21
I wanted to animate the people here to write down more holidays. My plan failed :(
Catkam623 27
Or on desperation day(February 14th) feel better Tyler?
TylerBurden 21
Way better, thank you. I like the idea. It would be fun if op brings her the alcohol on the 14th.
HitchHiker42 18
Open it while it's pointed at her face.
imavelociraptor 6
The only logical solution :)
a1f0sff 25
Or maybe tell her to not give you anything at all since it's better than receiving alcohol.
Pleonasm 35
Yea, don't hit the bottle, hit the mother in law!
perdix 29
What exactly is "it" that you are pointing at her face? Oh, wait, it's the bottle! I had something else in mind. (Note to self: cut back on MILF ****.)
amillionbucks 5
Or hold it like a bat and smash it on her car.
sens3sfailing 24
perdix, why are you looking at **** of Moles In Lavender Fedoras?
Catkam623 27
@57 oh that's what it is I always thought it was mice in lilac frocks thanks for clarifying.
crammer1 6
There's only two ways to handle the situation. Calmly ask her what her intentions are with such a gift, or kindly accept it and then make sure to throw it away when you leave. Her one main purpose is to taunt you to see what kind of reaction she can get.
bredahl 26
Congrats on being sober for 3 years! Write a passive aggressive note to your mother in law, place the note in a giftbox with the three bottles of champagne and tell her to stop wasting money. Or maybe she's just hoping you'd regift it to her.
TheDrifter 23
Why passive aggressive? That crap annoys me to no end. Try assertive, strongly worded, or even brusque instead.
Pleonasm 35
Can anyone give me a concrete example of being passive aggressive? I know the defintion, but if someone were to ask me, is this or this situation PA, or how can you characterise PA in an example, I'm stumped. Any takers? I've always wondered, and searched for a true example.
theycallmekitty 13
When I upset my dad he gets an angry look and sternly says "I am not happy about this". Then he spends the rest of the day mumbling angry things about me to himself.
chosha_fml 26
Actually what the mother-in-law did is passive aggressive. She is giving a gift - obstensibly a nice thing to do - but giving something that she knows is a harmful gift the person won't want. It's a nasty thing to do, but if they call her on it she could say she forgot or had good intentions. It doing something hurtful, but not openly or honestly; feeling aggression, but showing it in ways that aren't obvious. Eg, being mad at your boyfriend for never doing the dishes, but instead of telling him so, you "forget" to record his favourite show instead.
DanielleinDC 33
The monster-in-law is being passive aggressive by giving her recovering alcoholic of a daughter-in-law champagne for her birthday. Check that; the M-I-L is a bitch.
leonchen7498 12
>sober for 3 years OP said that she gave him 3 years in a row champagne~ so he might be recovering for a longer or shorter period
hopelessteej 8
sounds like she's really taking the piss..
mistercrow 9
You nasty!0-o
Kidkaplan 19
Pop the cap at her
ChaoticBacon 6
Champaign is hardcore stuff. Don't mess around.
andyyroxx 20
I don't understand... They spell it for you RIGHT in the ******* FML. Champagne*.
sens3sfailing 24
shampain!
SerendipityRose 26
*Zapp Brannigan voice* You want the rest of the Sham-pag-in?
MidnaLink 33
69 ewwwwww! Not Zapp Brannigan!
Ukeee_X 19
That's just so rude, find her biggest fear. Is it spiders? Spider socks? Not good enough? Say hello mr fluffy the tarantula.
LarryLaDouche 13
I'm not the least bit afraid of spiders, but wasps however I understand. Those winged bastards are like the Apache helicopter of the insect world.
jogihoppa8343 23
thats true.. the wasp can be one's worst nightmare..
JustKittyKat 24
Spider wasps. They exist and I am terrified of them. They eat spiders. And their nickname? Tarantula hawks. They attack my face in the summer...while I'm in my bathroom. For the past three summers. And they have to be triple tapped or I swear to god they're zombies.
JustKittyKat 24
http://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/animals/bugs-animals/bees-and-wasps/wasp_attacks_spider/
ChibiChibi_fml 27
They eat spiders but attack your face in the bathroom during the summer? Is your face frequently covered in, or does it in some way resembles spiders in the summer? I would say that would be something to have looked at rather than just let it happen.
Carmstro 13
56 where do you live just so I know where to never go?
JustKittyKat 24
I live in Texas And I'll have you know, my momma says I'm very pretty! Spider face or not! :P I dare you guys to look up videos of them attacking spiders. You'll never sleep again.
dmoran20 27
For her birthday you should get a brochure for a free consultation at the local plastic surgery doc, and do it over and over for each holiday... ;-)
BlowinChronic 18
Mother-in-law with the letters rearranged just comes out to be Woman Hitler. Stay strong OP, stay strong.