Miscellaneous: You dolt!

You dolt!

By ilovefootball - 07/09/2009 19:21 - United States

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 193

You deserved it 78 176

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Same thing different taste

By Lackadaisical - 15/01/2010 00:01 - United States

Today, I thought I'd be safe by looking before crossing a one way street unlike I normally do. Too bad I looked the wrong way and didn't see the car that hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 236

You deserved it 35 624

By Imwalkinghere - 04/11/2016 01:26 - United States

Today, while I was walking to class, I was hit by a car. The driver stopped to let me cross in front of her, started moving again, hit me, and then yelled at me, saying it was my fault for walking in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 043

You deserved it 693

By Anonymous - 20/07/2010 10:12 - United Kingdom

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 896

You deserved it 49 665

By Biggie - 12/05/2009 07:49 - United States

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 813

You deserved it 12 928

Dingus

By Anonymous - 26/06/2010 13:24 - Tanzania United Republic of

Today, I was driving along when I saw a hot girl walking. I decided to impress her by doing a 180 degree turn. Successfully pulling off my trick, I decided to back up so I could go the right way. Not looking behind, I backed up and smashed into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 803

You deserved it 65 998

Hey there!

By Chanby - 04/05/2023 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was walking down the street when I saw a friend I hadn't seen in years. I was so excited to catch up with her that I ran across the street without looking and almost got hit by a car. I ended up stumbling out of panic and landed on a pile of trash on the sidewalk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 1 015

Classic scam

By Anonymous - 01/07/2017 06:00 - United States - New Hyde Park

Today, I was driving when a woman started crossing the street against the light at the upcoming intersection, so I slammed on the brakes and stopped short of hitting her. That's when she intentionally jumped onto my car and started screaming that I had "mowed her down". The cops believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 230

You deserved it 306

By prettyinpurple - 10/02/2009 04:54 - United States

Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 941

You deserved it 56 271

Play it cool

By NathanPlays - 23/04/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 098

You deserved it 20 246

By Chops - 09/03/2009 06:35 - United States

Today, I was walking from my office to the place i had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. As I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99 808

You deserved it 4 419

fxdxhk90 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 1:17

So..... what are the police charging you with?

dcstream 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 1:19

This needs to be illustrated.

Comments

allmidnighteyes 10

Tuesday 8 September 2009 1:39

Apparently, NJ breeds morons.

mike1921 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 2:27

I take offense to that. Because, while NJ is full of idiots, the OP is way beyond the typical idiot in NJ. This guy is to NJ's normal idiots what NJ's normal idiots are to Stephen hawking.

ciaobella_fml 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 1:42

Either I laughed at this for a minute because I haven't slept in 2 days or its really that stupid its funny. Hope she's ok.

i_is_a_tr00l 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 1:47

Who told you to put those jeans on? Hmmmmm?

Rouge_Plague 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 1:54

Well, someones insurance just got ******

x_BOOMbox 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 1:59

This is more **** her life. I mean, she's the one who got pushed by some guy she didn't know and then hit by a car.

shootingstar8D 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 2:01

Idiot.

Xerosnake90 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 2:05

This has to be complete bullshit. If not, hope you enjoy getting sued and getting sent to jail for attempted manslaughter.

CharlotteRx 4

Tuesday 8 September 2009 2:05

so, did you get her number? hahahahaha!!!

TotalKhaos 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 3:29

Win!

plexico 3

Tuesday 8 September 2009 2:07

The good news is that you will be getting to spend a lot of time with her. I'm sure she'll come every day to your attempted murder trial. She'll even get on the stand and look at you and say "He's the man." See, "you da man," won't it turn out great?