Love, Dogs, Instagram, Social Media and Crush: Woof woof - FML

Woof woof

By Anonymous - 14/12/2022 07:00 - Australia - Brunswick

Today, I accidentally followed and inboxed my crush from my dog’s Instagram account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 939

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Same thing different taste

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 370

You deserved it 6 377

Spineless

By Anonymous - 15/07/2020 02:01

Today, after weeks of thinking about how to ask my crush out, I finally was ready to message her on Instagram, only to find out that she unfollowed me after watching my last story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 238

You deserved it 385

Unrequited callousness

By Anonymous - 07/02/2022 04:01

Today, I heard that my crush’s dog had died. For some reason, my first instinct when I saw him was to say, “Oh my god, I heard that your dog died!” He started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 781

By Anonymous - 27/12/2016 18:28 - Israel - Petah Tiqwa

Today, I was showing the Instagram of my crush to my cousin. He double-tapped the picture, thinking it would zoom it in. It was posted 5 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 621

You deserved it 1 530

By fucking hate bitches - 24/12/2016 21:27

Today, I realized that the girl I like only replies to my snapchats if I include my dog in the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 835

You deserved it 1 701

Match over

By dontask - 22/12/2018 18:00

Today, I was stalking my Bumble match’s Instagram feed before I said hello. I went to tap for sound on a video of him getting his backside tattooed but accidentally double-tapped and liked the video. Sound turned on and I realized I liked a video of him farting. Couldn’t say hello after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

You deserved it 1 849

By LoveBytes - 27/03/2012 21:29 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I emailed my crush an anonymous love letter. It wasn't until twenty minutes later that I realized that the email address I used contained my full name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 671

You deserved it 44 135

By verasam01 - 25/02/2011 00:37 - United States

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 811

You deserved it 51 737

By Anonymous - 24/06/2009 10:10 - Netherlands

Today, I ran into my crush of three years ago. We used to always walk our dogs together. He still remembered my dog's name. He didn't remember mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 152

You deserved it 4 003

Nice catching up with you

By Anonymous - 05/05/2022 22:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I messaged a crush (it was mutual and we adored each other) from five years ago, just to talk. He seemed happy and we had a good convo talking about how our lives have changed, until he said, “Uh I seriously don’t remember you though, lol. Thanks for the follow, though”. then left me on seen and unfollowed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 184

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 13 December 2022 22:06

Since when does a genius move count as an FML? If your dog is cuter than you (which is often the case), this strategy has enhanced your chances with your crush.

SirEnigM0nk 22

Tuesday 13 December 2022 21:17

Puppy love?

Comments

SirEnigM0nk 22

Tuesday 13 December 2022 21:17

Puppy love?

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 13 December 2022 22:06

Since when does a genius move count as an FML? If your dog is cuter than you (which is often the case), this strategy has enhanced your chances with your crush.

JackWood 20

Tuesday 13 December 2022 23:31

In box them, "Woof, woof!"

poopface82 18

Wednesday 14 December 2022 4:28

If your dog has an Instagram page, you knew what you were doing.

Keywords

Public freakouts Health Relatable Geek Music Scams Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Transportation Cops Kids Fight Family AITA Mother in law Miscellaneous Relationship advice Social Media Love Work Art Students Noise Birds Animals Sleep Mental health Medication

The Top

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 017

You deserved it 3 408

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 1 708

The Top

Today, while having hot passionate sex with my boyfriend, while I was moaning his name, he was coming to release and yelled out, "NO, THIS IS PATRICK!" His name isn't Patrick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 592

You deserved it 473

Today, I learned that being kicked in the vagina by your brat brother not only makes you vomit from the pain, it also makes you get a period an hour later so unbelievably more painful than usual, you're forced to use the real good painkillers left over from your dad's spine surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 122

Today, I noticed that the condom in my wallet has been there so long it's left a mark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 378

You deserved it 14 025

Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 407

You deserved it 3 008

Today, the guy I've been seeing asked me to have a threesome. With his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 301

You deserved it 2 747

Today, my friend casually asked if she could “gift” me to her husband for his birthday threesome. I told her she was being rude, and made me feel cheap and objectified. She scoffed and said, "What’s the big deal? Aren’t all you bi chicks into that anyway?” No. No I’m not. So much for friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 122

You deserved it 355