Animals: Whoops

Whoops

By ER1C - 16/05/2016 12:35 - Canada

Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 481

You deserved it 1 212

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Same thing different taste

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 387

You deserved it 4 658

By BaliTheDog - 24/03/2013 23:01 - France

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 014

You deserved it 97 553

Still counts!

By Andrea Trevor - 07/08/2018 15:00

Today, I finally did the splits for the first time in my life! Unfortunately, it happened when I stepped in wet dog poop on my kitchen floor. One foot slipped forward in it, and I fell right on top of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 482

You deserved it 240

Another fine mess

By wow - 16/05/2019 00:05

Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 334

By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 08:13 - United States

Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 653

You deserved it 5 477

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 803

You deserved it 4 122

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 371

You deserved it 6 379

By Anonymous - 11/06/2019 06:00

Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 840

You deserved it 299

Fresh air

By Ceecee - 22/03/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 235

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 04:00

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 114

ScratchCatPower 32

Monday 16 May 2016 23:40

"What... What do you need?" "... A tailor... BECAUSE I RIPPED MY PANTS AGAIN!"

ellisp1 15

Monday 16 May 2016 23:37

What a dog-gone shame.

Comments

Rhianonin 11

Tuesday 17 May 2016 4:35

Is wet dirt a new word for mud?

soullyfe 33

Tuesday 17 May 2016 4:48

24: Maybe it was just dirt that was moist. It doesn't automatically make it mud unless the water overpowers the dirt.

special_Kaye 10

Tuesday 17 May 2016 4:46

Well at least your dog was small enough you could pick him up. If that had been me, my eleven year old black lab would have been no help!!

1gullible_bugger 33

Tuesday 17 May 2016 4:56

At least you have mud to fall into in Quebec. In Saskatchewan all we have is dust. We haven't had rain in months. I miss the mud. At least you had the dog to help you out.

brocho 26

Tuesday 17 May 2016 5:13

Well, you're luckier than I was. I had a pair of jeans that had a small hole in them from wear and my dad demanded that I have my mom sew them rather than just throwing them away as I had originally planned to do. Well, I forgot all about it and wore them by accident one day, and I noticed a bunch of people giving me funny looks and laughing at the grocery store. I didn't figure out until after I had left that the hole had ripped a huge patch in my crotch. It only gets worse from here, though. In eighth grade I wore a pair of corduroy pants to one of my band concerts at a nearby college and somehow I managed to have a huge patch on my ass rip out, exposing my flower printed granny panties underneath. A bunch of college kids pointed and laughed as I sheepishly smiled and waved, as that was all I could really do. Luckily, a friend of mine lent me her jacket to tie around my waist and everyone got a good laugh out of the deal.

naviajack626 16

Tuesday 17 May 2016 6:01

Exactly what I thought. It would really suck if it was a Great Dane that OP couldn't hold.

iMuffinKat 16

Tuesday 17 May 2016 7:32

You could've been just walking and there was nothing to cover your crotch with...

freddygasman 18

Tuesday 17 May 2016 8:36

you really "screwed the pooch" on that one

nzoid 8

Tuesday 17 May 2016 9:08

Hot doggie

ER1C_fml 22

Tuesday 17 May 2016 13:09

Lol today my 13 year old neighbour asked me why I was walking like a retard yesterday, at the school bus stop

revolvearoundme 15

Tuesday 17 May 2016 14:02

I'm so confused. Were you not wearing underwear? If you were were they strange? Other than someone owning a Chihuahua I don't see a problem. Ripped your crotch? Going home to change? Ok. It happens and you're handling it right. Ripped crotch, using a small animal to "cover it" is much worse.