Weird and Health: Weird flex, but OK

Weird flex, but OK

By Anon - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 351

You deserved it 42 167

May weddings: Love and blunders
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Same thing different taste

Satisfaction

By thacupcakeassassin - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Shippensburg

Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 062

You deserved it 1 730

The smell test

By sosadstudent - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 098

You deserved it 4 449

Deez nuts

By needtoscratch - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 374

You deserved it 1 844

Stinky pits

By shakinmahbuttbutt - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 850

You deserved it 4 554

Caturday surprise!

By keeperstride - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 814

You deserved it 72 129

Naughty girl

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice, then we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside, she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 054

You deserved it 3 804

Glade

By stinkystinky - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 931

You deserved it 964

Rash decision

By FilthyIke - 21/08/2009 20:17 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 759

You deserved it 4 383

The struggle

By lizi - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 038

You deserved it 823

New fragrance just dropped

By lavenderpiss - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia - North Adelaide

Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 472

You deserved it 4 021

pancakerocks 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 18:55

intresting. i take joy in smelling myself after i shower

krustacea 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 18:53

I've done that.

Comments

dayzz1 10

Thursday 12 January 2012 23:39

Ok I think I threw up a little, that's disgusting!

Tess_fml 7

Thursday 12 January 2012 23:52

Doesn't everyone do that at some point? Lighetn up, people.

emmacharbs 1

Friday 13 January 2012 0:07

That is disgusting. I hope you enjoyed it anon

insanelyXnikki 18

Friday 13 January 2012 0:17

I wonder if you had left the same underwear on for two days as well... Yuck

RomoniReed 6

Friday 13 January 2012 0:18

Urr?

lmngrl889 14

Friday 13 January 2012 0:24

Ew! lol

ch00k 5

Friday 13 January 2012 0:31

I live in QLD. The steamy weather we've been having the last two days, you must reek.

Platinum_Pie 4

Friday 13 January 2012 0:36

uhm..... what?

kayC7 0

Friday 13 January 2012 0:48

Congratulations, you're disgusting

ilovechrissy14 0

Friday 13 January 2012 0:51

Gross

Keywords

Work Management Jealousy Love Mental health Relationship advice Relatable Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Mother in law Gifts Money Birthday Family Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Argument AITA Fear Insects

The Top

Today, I had a tooth pulled. An hour or so later, I removed the gauze from my mouth, because I thought the bleeding had stopped. I got on my laptop. A few minutes later I looked down, to see that I had drooled blood all over the keyboard, and didn't know because my mouth was numb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 874

You deserved it 33 942

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 698

You deserved it 9 549

The Top

Today, I was late to school for the third time this week because my alarm clock didn't go off. I clearly remembered setting it, so I videotaped myself sleeping. It turns out I've been turning off my alarm clock in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 089

You deserved it 13 437

Today, my mom has gone completely insane and insists we only flush the toilet or wash our hands at the start or end of the day, "to save on bills." My young sister thinks it's the best idea ever. My mom makes our food, and my sister just loves to touch everyone's faces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 427

You deserved it 2 908

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 028

You deserved it 5 431

Today my girlfriend actually moved during sex. I love her, but she's so awful in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 392

Today, I’m working in Germany. I told my German colleagues that the most beautiful ballet that I attended in my life was The Swan Lake, "der Schwanzsee". Except that swan in German is "Schwan" and not "Schwanz". For them, I’m now a big fan of the Penis Lake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 142

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight because I bought two new makeup palettes. He ranted that I have too much already, it all looks the same, and that I’m a hoarder. Last month he threatened to break up with me for throwing out condiments that were two years past their expiration dates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 214

Same thing different taste

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