Intimacy: Wanker

Wanker

By bongoboy - 25/04/2009 07:51 - United States

Today, I was staying with my grandma. While in her bathroom, the floss I was using cut my gum which made me wince in slight pain. At the same time, my grandma was walking by in the corridor, so she stopped to say, "Don't wank in my bathroom you sicko!" Now my grandma thinks I'm a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 386

You deserved it 6 243

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Same thing different taste

Sorry grandma

By Anonymous - 22/04/2021 17:01

Today, my grandma called me to see how my oral surgery went. She gave me a kiss over the phone, but when I tried to make the kiss sound back to her, the bandages got in the way and it came out as a fart sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 141

By Anonymous - 26/01/2016 03:44 - United States - Arcadia

Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 709

You deserved it 1 289

By notsoclean - 24/12/2010 21:14 - United States

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 466

You deserved it 3 694

By Momlovesme - 08/08/2009 00:43 - United States

Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 246

You deserved it 17 453

By welptimetoburntheplacedown - 11/08/2014 15:02 - United States - Louisville

Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 290

You deserved it 3 674

Oh no…

By Oh... - 26/07/2019 16:00 - Australia

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 826

You deserved it 254

By webcammistake - 17/03/2009 20:51 - United States

Today, I was on a webcam with my friend. We were joking around so I stood up and flashed her. Her grandma choose that second to walk past and look at the screen. Her grandma now thinks were lesbians and that I'm a whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 099

You deserved it 75 809

By bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh - 21/06/2013 21:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 286

You deserved it 7 245

By Andrew - 24/09/2010 10:22 - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 260

You deserved it 4 578

My ears!

By epistaxis - 02/02/2009 00:43 - Australia

Today, I'm staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 409

You deserved it 2 685

LoveFifteen 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 16:56

Umm, since when does masturbating making you a pervert?

ZetsubouSensei 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 16:18

Haha, nice. But I say YDI for having sex-like pain noises, dude.

Comments

rakhil11 7

Saturday 25 April 2009 23:17

LOL that just made my day (not really but oh well lol)

fmlfmlfml15 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 0:07

Ddid you even bother to explain what really happened? And why would she automatically assume you were masturbating? She should've just asked "Are you ok?"

mollyisfly 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 0:08

hahaha, funny.

SurpriseButtseks 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 2:19

Who flosses their teeth while visiting their grandma? Who makes "slight sounds of pain" from flossing? I think an "Ow!" or a "Damnit!" would suffice. You probably were jerking it in your grandma's house. You sick teen.

Amkii 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 2:53

Who calls someone 'teen' these days?

ohhhhshizzz 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 3:35

#57: Maybe they were going out to dinner or he has BRACES. Or just doesn't like food in his teeth after he eats. You don't know what people say when they get hurt, I don't say anything I just deal. Maybe he doesn't so you can't make generalizations like that. So stfu, you stupid ******.