Love, Music, Awkward and Harassment: Vanilla Ice - FML

Vanilla Ice

By NotInterested - 23/08/2013 06:23 - United States

Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 082

You deserved it 4 635

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By TJFuentes - 11/02/2015 13:39 - United States - Appleton

Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 338

You deserved it 3 759

By SpongeAbii2 - 24/01/2012 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 758

You deserved it 2 961

By godhatesme - 26/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 628

You deserved it 36 827

By ohman - 17/07/2009 17:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 258

You deserved it 8 184

Thanks…

By Anonymous - 15/09/2012 18:34 - United States - Metairie

Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 598

You deserved it 34 395

Classic move

By qyx3lmnop24 - 20/12/2014 07:33 - United States - Napa

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 413

You deserved it 5 074

By Revalation - 27/08/2011 23:06 - United States

Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 562

You deserved it 3 069

By Anonymous - 15/10/2011 06:58 - United States

Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 508

You deserved it 8 374

By scfead - 14/08/2009 22:28 - United States

Today, I was walking home when a man passed me and stopped. Thinking he was staring at my butt, I asked him kindly to stop. He then laughed and grabbed my wallet that was in my back pocket, and ran. He wasn't staring at my butt, and found it funny that I thought he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 526

You deserved it 16 190

By jessinono - 17/05/2013 16:16 - United States

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 638

You deserved it 5 543

Next

Top comments

Vitualamen 11

Friday 23 August 2013 11:51

Classy. He may have talent.. And several restraining orders. Take it as a compliment!

Wizardo 33

Friday 23 August 2013 12:04

If I've learnt anything from Pokémon its that you don't make eye contact with people, you just get into unwanted battles... in this case unwanted rap battles.

Comments

Racy 1

Friday 23 August 2013 21:13

Stupid Niggers

ViviMage 38

Friday 23 August 2013 21:21

Rapper, meet Peppa Sprai. Kthanxbi! Wow, what a dingdong.....

operator47 10

Friday 23 August 2013 21:57

Ahhh....romance.

Smoxxii 17

Friday 23 August 2013 22:43

And, that ladies and gents, is one of methods you should not try to use to pick up girls.

ImAFaker 29

Saturday 24 August 2013 0:52

Did he have e-rap-tile disfunction?

SavannahSunshine 26

Saturday 24 August 2013 4:04

How could you not have loved that??? I would totally be uncomfortable at first but eventually start laughing haha I wonder if he was like "flirting" or was just awesome

Cadillac4427 8

Saturday 24 August 2013 4:05

hmmmm.... I thought rapping and pointing at your dick went together

ryanthecheeseguy 18

Saturday 24 August 2013 4:27

This is the most ******* hilarious FML I've seen in a long time

TripleX7700 3

Saturday 24 August 2013 4:43

Went somethin like 'GIRL, I know you WANT DIS DEH', right?

lola1313 9

Saturday 24 August 2013 5:08

Was it the dick in the box song?!?!?! Lol

2
3
4
5
6

Keywords

Management Work Friends Miscellaneous Awkward Health Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Birthday Family Money Mother in law Gifts Public freakouts Education Parents Students Exams Pranks Weird Love Argument AITA Insects Fear Cats Skincare Job interview Jealousy Coworkers

The Top

Today, I was sick during the night and had to puke. I had no bucket or trashcan nearby, so I ended up puking on the floor. However, because it was so dark, I didn't notice my cat lying in the exact spot where I puked. She was not amused, giving me the mother of all death glares before she started puking herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 99

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 528

You deserved it 30 075

The Top

Today, I had an endoscopy and nothing wrong was found. So why have I been vomiting up everything, including water, for the past 10 days? FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 73

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me. His excuse was that I never had time for his needs anymore. He’s unemployed but I guess me working and studying to get my degree so we could move out of his parents’ house was too much. Now I have no place to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 91

Today, my girlfriend left her phone on a bus. With no way to pick it up, I drove 40 miles through Friday night Boston traffic to get it from the bus company office. It took me four hours. Bored in traffic, I discovered the texts from her other boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 701

You deserved it 5 031

Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 698

You deserved it 42 879

Today, I came back from college excited to see my parents and enjoy a nice home-cooked meal, but as I walked in the front door I was greeted by my parents having sex on the kitchen table. They didn't see me so I sneaked out and waited. I had to eat dinner at that table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 677

You deserved it 679

Today, I realized I sent over 2 dozen job applications with my dating profile word doc instead of my resume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 517

You deserved it 3 620