Love, Music, Awkward and Harassment: Vanilla Ice - FML

Vanilla Ice

By NotInterested - 23/08/2013 06:23 - United States

Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 082

You deserved it 4 635

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Same thing different taste

By TJFuentes - 11/02/2015 13:39 - United States - Appleton

Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 338

You deserved it 3 759

By SpongeAbii2 - 24/01/2012 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 758

You deserved it 2 961

By godhatesme - 26/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 628

You deserved it 36 827

By ohman - 17/07/2009 17:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 258

You deserved it 8 183

Thanks…

By Anonymous - 15/09/2012 18:34 - United States - Metairie

Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 598

You deserved it 34 395

Classic move

By qyx3lmnop24 - 20/12/2014 07:33 - United States - Napa

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 413

You deserved it 5 074

By Revalation - 27/08/2011 23:06 - United States

Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 562

You deserved it 3 069

By Anonymous - 15/10/2011 06:58 - United States

Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 508

You deserved it 8 374

By scfead - 14/08/2009 22:28 - United States

Today, I was walking home when a man passed me and stopped. Thinking he was staring at my butt, I asked him kindly to stop. He then laughed and grabbed my wallet that was in my back pocket, and ran. He wasn't staring at my butt, and found it funny that I thought he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 526

You deserved it 16 190

By jessinono - 17/05/2013 16:16 - United States

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 638

You deserved it 5 543

Next

Top comments

Vitualamen 11

Friday 23 August 2013 11:51

Classy. He may have talent.. And several restraining orders. Take it as a compliment!

Wizardo 33

Friday 23 August 2013 12:04

If I've learnt anything from Pokémon its that you don't make eye contact with people, you just get into unwanted battles... in this case unwanted rap battles.

Comments

cmb8280 24

Saturday 24 August 2013 5:33

This is why I never look at people. Too many variables in the outcome, most of them awkward.

knick64 7

Saturday 24 August 2013 9:10

Relax he was probably just giving himself a pep talk ;)

WeskersSexslave 15

Saturday 24 August 2013 9:25

yuck! kick him there.

jimmywithsalt 19

Saturday 24 August 2013 10:14

I hate when that happens >.<

Ibeatmyself 3

Saturday 24 August 2013 15:52

It's called swag

ShadowFlame275 18

Saturday 24 August 2013 22:40

Hey, at least he didn't start singing Justin Bieber.

shirilladlz 6

Wednesday 25 December 2013 5:03

I thought that said raped instead of rapped and I had to force myself to breathe again.

trumpy 9

Thursday 7 January 2016 1:41

lol how pathetic!

alerra 21

Thursday 3 March 2016 1:57

Good to see I'm not the only one who has had this happen to them. >.<

ughgirl23 14

Monday 11 July 2016 8:19

Thank god for the double "p" (rapping vs raping)

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went on a first date. It started out OK, but halfway through he began "debating" me, talking just like Ben Shapiro. I thought he was joking, or at least satirising the worst way you could talk during a date. I was wrong; he was serious. I'm still not sure what set him off, but I couldn't get a word in edgeways in after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211

You deserved it 261

Today, my parents met my fiancée's parents for the first time in a large family gathering two weeks before our formal wedding. Both sets of parents were telling funny stories about our pasts. My dad's story won. He told how I spent a week in jail earlier this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 127

You deserved it 1 010

The Top

Today, a close friend called me to inform me of his newest relationship, and why he's kept it from me - he's been seeing his male cousin for several months and was tired of hiding it from the world. I had to keep my shock in check over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 137

Today, I was working when a forklift came speeding out a trailer without honking. I jumped out the way, only to trip over something and fall out the dock door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 92

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 687

You deserved it 5 050

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 359

You deserved it 8 816

Today, I had to admit to an attractive coworker that it wasn't a hickey on my neck, but a mosquito bite instead. I then realized how alone I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 115

Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 630

You deserved it 2 994