I would have definitely knocked on doors and had personal conversations. maybe not the day of the wedding either. he was an asshole, sure. but you didn’t exactly ask either, you just told them to be quiet in a non personal note. he owed you nothing.

You're not entitled to anything and the world owes you nothing. Deal with it.

Did you ask or did you tell them to be quiet? If it's the latter you totally deserved it, although your daughter probably didn't.

When my neighbor had a wedding in their backyard, he came over and invited me and other neighbors to the wedding, and asked if we could refrain from doing things for about half an hour from a certain time. This was weeks in advance. Guess what, every single neighbor who didn’t go, also did not mow their lawn, cook out on their grills, jump in pools, etc. Why? Because he was considerate and didn’t wait until the day of to inform neighbors. Consideration is a two way street

also, mailboxes are federally protected. The only thing that is allowed to be put in them is mail that is placed by a postal worker. You are not legally allowed to access or touch their mailbox. https://mccartylaw.com/2019/03/make-a-federal-case-out-of-it/#:~:text=While%20many%20people%20don't,may%20be%20placed%20in%20mailboxes.

And who are you to demand this of your neighbors? Either politely warn them in advance (with an equally polite reason why they weren't invited), or don't say anything at all. Chances were Tom Petty would have probably left his drums and streamed whatever is currently popular on Netflix had you kept quiet.