Intimacy: Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football...

By JLoistheBomb - 11/02/2009 00:01 - United States

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 675

You deserved it 76 556

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Same thing different taste

By Thanks dicks - 07/09/2018 06:00

Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 727

You deserved it 363

By notagoodtime - 06/02/2016 20:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was forced to get up in front of ten swim teams, including my own, and a hundred spectators to swim 100 yards with an obvious boner sticking out of my suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 957

You deserved it 5 124

By Danny - 28/05/2012 18:02 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 276

You deserved it 5 768

By thjeltz - 27/10/2010 18:48 - Canada

Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been business as usual, if not for one of my teammates playing with his junk and not-so-subtly asked me to connect. There are 5 more months of hockey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 953

You deserved it 3 067

Gagging for it

By Anonymous - 20/02/2023 14:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 258

Show us what you can do

By easilyexited - 01/04/2009 12:16 - United States

Today, we were swimming in gym class. There are some cute girls in our class and they were wearing their bikinis. I was looking at them when I got an erection but since I was underwater I thought no one would see. I'm on the diving team so my teacher asked me to demonstrate a dive to the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 331

You deserved it 17 588

Wham bam thank you ma'am

By Noname - 11/03/2009 07:37 - United States

Today, while I was showering in my dorm, a hand reached through the curtain and grabbed my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain, thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized, then went on to have sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 841

You deserved it 3 619

Go Team!

By Gayer men’s team - 02/11/2017 04:00

Today, I was sexting my girlfriend when I accidentally sent one to my swim team’s group chat. This means that 19 men got a picture of me flexing with everything on display. Worst part? I got more compliments from them than I ever got from my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 799

You deserved it 1 379

By itwaswarm - 25/09/2015 21:04 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 602

You deserved it 1 754

By notacreep - 06/07/2015 17:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 541

You deserved it 8 243

MCart_fml 0

Wednesday 11 February 2009 1:40

Remember only 2 shakes are appropriate in the bathroom, anything else and you deserve the embarrassment..

FMLhilar 0

Wednesday 11 February 2009 1:35

hahahahahahaha thats just embarassing

Comments

mgfootball 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 2:10

lucky u weren't in the longest yard

romskiies 0

Friday 26 March 2010 8:28

^^^ ftw lmao

thatonerunner 0

Saturday 10 April 2010 3:03

ooh, that's sexy. too bad they don't let girls into the locker rooms too...

robhammer 0

Monday 12 April 2010 5:57

haha I'd be surprised if that guy even has a penis

glitterbabe224 0

Friday 21 May 2010 4:11

are you sure it was 'self induced...' ?(: jk. that suckks babe(:

TJT 0

Sunday 6 June 2010 18:19

OP You MORON

lolzaboner 0

Friday 3 September 2010 20:38

lolz thats funny :P

mcsteamy88 0

Tuesday 7 September 2010 9:59

that's hott

mcsteamy88 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 19:26

lmao. nice!

sayHellotomyKitt 0

Friday 25 March 2011 0:55

so you didn't think anyone else was going to get in the shower?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 871

You deserved it 43 967

Today, my dad, who never supported us growing up, and who calls once a month to collect his monthly living expenses, gave me an ultimatum: either buy him a plane ticket so that he can come live with me forever (he's a raging alcoholic) OR to send him $4,500 US Dollars (which where he lives is someone's 6 month salary). FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 106

The Top

Today, I needed to buy a new crash-helmet. I went to the motorbike shop and saw one I liked the look of. It was a bit of a tight fit, and I got my head stuck in it. I had to get the guy behind the counter to help me pull it off. My ears are still numb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 091

You deserved it 9 008

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 603

You deserved it 10 461

Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 112

You deserved it 4 833

Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 041

You deserved it 12 782

Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 759

You deserved it 6 542

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 319

You deserved it 2 987