Miscellaneous: Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front...

By Emmy - 02/10/2011 06:36 - United States

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 365

You deserved it 3 361

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Same thing different taste

By WhatsThatSmell - 25/02/2011 13:25 - Australia

Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 831

You deserved it 4 511

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 041

You deserved it 3 411

By Tanny - 19/04/2017 04:00

Today, I was playing basketball, and while trying to jump and shoot, I farted on the face of the person behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 648

You deserved it 639

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 17:39 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 567

You deserved it 41 808

Own it!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 1 376

By whipplewhip - 30/06/2013 04:21 - United States

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 438

You deserved it 3 612

Get a load of this

By Zoro - 13/09/2023 21:00 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, I had a wet fart with liquid in my underwear that I could smell. I let the one guy in front of me take the elevator so he wouldn't smell me. When the next empty elevator showed up, seven people started lining up behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 174

Stealth

By smellyhair - 02/11/2014 11:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 131

You deserved it 3 848

By Anonymous - 05/06/2011 20:45 - United States

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 407

You deserved it 46 343

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 533

You deserved it 1 600

MarvelFF1243 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 16:30

Maybe because she's on a escalator.

luvppl 6

Sunday 2 October 2011 16:41

Sorry I read elevator... I made a mistake but thanks for pointing out that it said escalator :)

Comments

j_cat187 19

Sunday 2 October 2011 18:16

At least she didn't turn around and rip a massive queef in your face. You might need to be hospitalized like butters.

maddiewoah 15

Sunday 2 October 2011 18:19

Exactly why I never stand behind someone's butt. So uh... you kinda deserved that one, OP.

FreeDrawn 7

Sunday 2 October 2011 18:26

i never seen/heard a woman fart before !

emilo_fml 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 18:40

Feel the wind

laxerswag180 4

Sunday 2 October 2011 19:04

how'd it taste?

Bwames 0

Tuesday 4 October 2011 5:40

are you homosexual?

Rvah07 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 19:16

Wow that's really rude, did u say something to her?

tj4234 35

Sunday 2 October 2011 19:23

you must be really short if a small woman farted into your face.

lionlvr 9

Sunday 2 October 2011 19:24

Ewwwww, You should have acted like Stan on American dad when he gets something spilled on him. That would have been even more hilarious.

jcatrucker 6

Sunday 2 October 2011 20:01

Why you standing so close...YDI...

THE_A_TEEN 27

Sunday 2 October 2011 21:07

Because its an escalator, and farts linger afterward. also the escalator could have had a lot of people so maybe she didn't have a choice...

The_Troller 14

Sunday 2 October 2011 20:36

Any IIJERiiCHO subs out there reminded of something by this story?

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The Top

Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 831

You deserved it 1 359

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 140

You deserved it 12 374

The Top

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 713

You deserved it 50 088

Today, my sister asked if she could look through my closet to find something to wear. She is 6 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 608

You deserved it 8 854

Today, the principal of the school I teach at told me she's not interested in re-hiring me because sometimes I wear a hoodie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 541

You deserved it 6 297

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 612

You deserved it 58 866

Today, I got an F because I’m an idiot and wrote my essay on WW1 instead of WW2. I offered to resubmit a correct essay, but my mom stormed to school to demand it be changed to at least a B, because it was a good essay, even if it was on the wrong war. God, she’s impossible and embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 280

Today, my parents lectured me about the importance of family, and how forgiveness is necessary. This came after I stopped speaking to my sister. I cut her out of my life after she slept with a second boyfriend of mine. Apparently, it’s up to me to "be the bigger person." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 284

You deserved it 173

Same thing different taste

Own it!

Get a load of this

Stealth

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