Health: Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers...

By WTFFAIL - 03/12/2012 05:06 - Canada - Montreal

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 568

You deserved it 8 989

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Same thing different taste

Relaxed

By Sorry, Doc - 10/09/2022 01:30

Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 205

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 07:35

Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 960

You deserved it 10 334

By Anonymous - 22/02/2013 02:56 - United States - New York

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 655

You deserved it 51 485

By Anonymous - 02/07/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 992

You deserved it 8 639

Bailed out

By Why's it so cold in here? - 01/02/2015 18:13 - United States

Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 822

You deserved it 2 977

Messed up

By socal000 - 20/10/2011 12:04 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 074

You deserved it 4 862

By shubididubbitty - 20/02/2016 18:06 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, on my way to the dentist, I got rear ended by my own dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 319

You deserved it 1 378

Nice.

By poururheartout - 27/07/2018 20:30

Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 269

You deserved it 379

By applegreen - 16/02/2017 15:00 - Ireland - Limerick

Today, while getting a breast exam for some suspicious lumps, I was lying on the table with my boobs exposed and I learned my doctor is afraid of wasps. I had to chase the wasp out whilst topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 576

You deserved it 499

The longest monologue

By Anonymous - 29/11/2012 00:57 - Canada - Belleville

Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 121

You deserved it 1 715

maneater8 7

Monday 3 December 2012 12:03

How do u "accidentally" do that

testestestes123 4

Monday 3 December 2012 12:04

I am still trying to envision how that happened.

Comments

VLJACK 6

Tuesday 4 December 2012 3:52

Was he cute at least?

bobbigirl71 2

Tuesday 4 December 2012 4:14

Omg!!! Insult to injury,and I don't know who had it worse.. You or the poor Doctor!! I'd be really embarrassed Mon

Meesersuperman1 4

Tuesday 4 December 2012 5:42

lolwut?

Danieljta 3

Tuesday 4 December 2012 5:54

That's awesome!! Haha.

jlperry31 10

Tuesday 4 December 2012 6:11

when dr ask me to drop shorts, i had a raging boner in his face as he sat down about to cup my balls and ask me to cough....

gman90210 18

Tuesday 4 December 2012 6:26

She can't play it off as getting something out of the hair it already happened and she is probably home where she wrote this fml

xgetxbentx 13

Tuesday 4 December 2012 6:52

...how do you accidentally do that?

klovemachine 24

Tuesday 4 December 2012 7:11

I wonder if DocBastard has had an experience like this :D

EBA2013_fml 4

Tuesday 4 December 2012 20:28

This is fake. Douche. Don't post fake stuff! There are jokes about this all over the internet.

whizkid14 2

Wednesday 5 December 2012 2:31

Omg thats hilarious!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I called the police regarding people speeding down my street, because I was worried for my young kids. On the way home from my daughter's ballet class, I got pulled over two blocks away from my house and got a $150 speeding ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 799

You deserved it 118 563

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 382

You deserved it 60 101

The Top

Today, I had to write an argumentative essay about the morality of homosexuality. The prompt actually uses the phrase "the dangers of homosexuality." I'm bisexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 232

Today, I was running a minute late for a big meeting that I'd organised. I got so hot from running up a flight of stairs that I couldn’t pass the Covid temperature screening requirement, and had to sit down for 10 minutes to cool off. By the time I was cool enough, everyone had already left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 551

Today, I was at my 3 year-old niece's birthday party. I was swinging on their swing set when she walked directly into my path. I tried to jump off the swing, but I could not stop myself in time. I ended up kicking her in the face and giving her a black eye. Happy birthday! FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 117

You deserved it 11 341

Today, I was looking over some old notes from high school when I came across a list of things I wanted to accomplish by the time I'm 25. I haven't accomplished a single one. I'm 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 252

You deserved it 16 165

Today, I woke up cold. The guy I had sex with last night stole my blanket. He also took everything out of my freezer, and all of my soap, shampoo, and conditioner. The number he left me was for a pizza place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 358

You deserved it 35 050

Today, I was at my friend's house. We were looking at her dad's guns, and I was explaining gun safety and how you should never put your finger on the trigger. I then shot a hole in the floor of her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 363

You deserved it 44 928