Love and Animals: Today, I woke up to find out that last night I got extremely... - FML

By Fml4evr - 22/04/2018 00:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to find out that last night I got extremely drunk, dumped my boyfriend of 3 years, bought a female ostrich, named it Frederic, and confessed my undying love for it via YouTube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 241

You deserved it 6 055

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Top comments

jello_bellied_snack_snapper 18

Sunday 22 April 2018 1:55

i need to see this youtube video

waterfalleyes 8

Monday 2 April 2018 4:36

how do you get so drunk that you end up deciding to break up with your boyfriend ?

Comments

DanielleinDC 33

Monday 23 April 2018 4:10

Anything that starts out with someone getting extremely drunk ends up in a YDI. Hopefully you can explain to the boyfriend you dumped that you were drunk when you did so and didn't mean it. And if you are going to drink, stay away from online shopping sites.

Davros 12

Tuesday 24 April 2018 10:20

I dont know who you are or what sick demented shit your into, but we need to party together.

thatslifeiguess7 16

Wednesday 25 April 2018 14:23

where did you find said bird id check the zoo

PhoenixChick 26

Wednesday 25 April 2018 14:59

You accomplished more drunk than most sober people. So congrats! When's the wedding?

Thomas J. Simpson 5

Wednesday 25 April 2018 20:15

I understand why you posted it... And you have to admit... Thats a hell of a story :D

Mr_Mole 24

Saturday 28 April 2018 0:19

Bs

Keywords

Annoying Gamers Video games Birthday Abuse Relatable Money Social Media Scams Education Parents School Kids Public freakouts Health Grieving Mental health Geek Music Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Cops Transportation Family Fight Gross Work Customers

The Top

Today, my parents used to tell that me life gets way better after high school. Yeah, for everyone else at my school. They’re partying it up in college or travelling during gap years, meeting all sorts of people. I have to work more than full time because my parents kicked me out the week after I graduated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 93

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 338

You deserved it 15 970

The Top

Today, my boyfriend bought me a vibrator for my birthday. Sounds sweet, right? Then he invited my 10/14-year-old cousins to our house. They surprised me in my room. While I was using it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 532

You deserved it 767

Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I'm still madly in love, called me and begged me to come back to him. In shock, I asked, "Is this some kind of joke?" He giggled, said yes, and then promptly hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 488

You deserved it 7 094

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after being "pressured" into a relationship with another guy. But it's okay, she said she would think of me every time she made love to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 252

You deserved it 222

Today, after cricket training, the homeless man that lives in the drain next to the nets threw a beer bottle full of piss at me for rejecting him for a date last week. I ducked; it sailed through my car’s open window and smashed all over the seats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 307

You deserved it 4 869

Today, after weeks of doubt and pondering the pros and cons, I finally broke up with my girlfriend, and she burst into tears. Feeling guilty, I tried to console her by saying, "Don't worry, we can still be cousins." FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 784

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 426

You deserved it 6 902