Money: Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand... - FML

By Heinz - 08/08/2012 04:19 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 169

You deserved it 2 828

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By khaelian - 11/11/2010 16:53 - United States

Today, the highlight of my day was that the gas station I work at finally got a new mop head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 953

You deserved it 4 082

It was yummy

By lilviss - 11/12/2019 14:00 - Australia

Today, I found maggots in the ketchup on my sausage. Too bad I had already eaten half of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 907

You deserved it 251

Winner winner chicken dinner

By Anonymous - 26/02/2021 14:02

Today, I realized I have finally turned into my mother when I got excited about using so many coupons that I only paid 70 cents for $14 worth of groceries. I need a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 242

By sassy_girl144 - 29/05/2015 10:58 - United Kingdom - Newbury

Today, I learned one of life's great lessons: it is possible to squeeze a Ketchup bottle so hard that the plastic breaks and everything lands on your face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 395

You deserved it 6 254

By Anonymous - 08/04/2014 16:07 - Italy - Vigodarzere

Today, after months of being on anti-depression medication and feeling very little emotionally, I finally felt some joy. Sadly it was from completely crushing my husband in an argument he started, where he claimed ketchup is a vegetable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 541

You deserved it 4 842

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 07:35 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 102

You deserved it 3 813

By Tanuki_paws - 26/08/2012 21:05 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I'm so broke that I got buyer's remorse after buying a $2 bottle of pancake syrup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 666

You deserved it 2 730

Broke

By Anonymous - 23/01/2012 14:19 - United States

Today, school tuition has taken up so much of my paycheck that the only thing I had to eat for dinner was applesauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 748

You deserved it 3 216

By special-ingredient - 02/08/2009 03:41 - Canada

Today, I came home tired and hungry from work. I put my feet up and sat down with a big bowl of chips and salsa. I thought I must have been really hungry because my regular no-name salsa tasted way better than usual. I looked down to examine the jar. Looks like I like the taste of mold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 026

You deserved it 13 941

By Watchingmyfigure - 06/12/2016 17:55 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I was so hungry and broke that I resorted to drinking salad dressing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 975

You deserved it 1 234

Next

Top comments

Hidur 10

Wednesday 8 August 2012 12:01

You should just walk into a random McDonalds and say you forgot to ask for ketchup for your meal. Free ketchup, free happiness, free Carl.

ThatGenericGuy 6

Wednesday 8 August 2012 12:01

Hey, Great Value is still a brand.

Comments

shots1996 8

Thursday 9 August 2012 5:32

So your in college?

zombieboy78 4

Thursday 9 August 2012 5:53

Wopde ******* do

hurrican_fml 0

Thursday 9 August 2012 6:11

That's a plus.

no1hasdisid 2

Thursday 9 August 2012 7:49

Not even the fact that u can afford the iPod/iPhone/ipad that u are using plus Internet?

Madden12 6

Thursday 9 August 2012 9:14

"Name-brand" sounds so weird, I guess its the generic term for "brand-name".. heh

bingobangobongo 0

Friday 10 August 2012 16:14

Oh for godsake no! Generic ketchup?! Your life must be a spiral of degradation and humiliation! For **** sake, if that's your sob story, I can't wait for life to hit you square in the ****** balls

daps29 11

Sunday 12 August 2012 1:41

That's sad and depressing :(

natalie11645 0

Tuesday 14 August 2012 6:10

At least your taste buds will be satisfied now.

nerdstuck101 8

Wednesday 15 August 2012 17:53

Marry an old rich guy ppl say it'z shallow but I did it and I've never looked back

DylansMomma 9

Wednesday 22 August 2012 8:38

Your comment : Everyone hates ketchup precum.

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Management Work Jealousy Love Relatable Mental health Relationship advice Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food Money Birthday Family Mother in law Gifts Parents Public freakouts Education Students Exams Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

The Top

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 048

You deserved it 39 411

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 099

You deserved it 20 812

The Top

Today, after realizing it burned when I peed, I found out the boy I waited two years to have sex with gave me gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 780

You deserved it 7 268

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 492

You deserved it 7 982

Today, my dad and I got royally bitched out by my mother, because she found a bill for a porn site subscription, which was paid by my dad, but made out to my name. I had no idea about any of this, but she now thinks I'm a filthy porn addict and that my dad is an enabler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 834

You deserved it 5 851

Today, someone at work took my delicate medication out of the fridge to make room for their lunch. Now my medication has expired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 713

You deserved it 2 883

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 005

You deserved it 28 858

Today, my alcoholic dad finally came to see to my last dance recital after years of never showing up to watch me. He got kicked out of the audience for snoring too loud. I could hear him from the stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 67