Today, thanks to my boyfriend being in the bathroom for an hour,... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Squatter - 23/08/2017 07:14

Today, thanks to my boyfriend being in the bathroom for an hour, I now have a story involving a mixing bowl and me squating in the kitchen. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 9

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Akitakat 31

Monday 28 August 2017 13:11

Some things are best kept to yourself.

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Akitakat 31

Monday 28 August 2017 13:11

Some things are best kept to yourself.

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Today, my boyfriend came over. We'd planned on losing out virginities today. What we didn't plan on was having my 9-year-old brother and his friends making a video of "What teens do when no one is home." They taped the whole thing, including the five minutes it took us to get the condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 957

You deserved it 928

Today, I got questioned by the police. Last night I was at a party when a bully of a kid who happened to be an aspiring MMA coach and local fighter was picking on me, stole my alcohol and threw me out of the party. I heard he got stabbed by someone else he was picking on after I left. The police insist it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 58

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 42 322

You deserved it 3 639

Today, I met a girl who was just as socially anxious as me. We spent the whole night staring at each other, then quickly looking away when the other person saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 786

You deserved it 2 671

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I agree, your life sucks 25 450

You deserved it 1 813

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 859

You deserved it 6 555

Today, I found out I’m going through early menopause. My husband was finally ready to have a baby, after years of debate and saying he’s not ready. I warned him my ovaries wouldn’t hold out forever. He seems shocked that menopause happens to all women and is irreversible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 103

Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 933

You deserved it 2 004