Miscellaneous: Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers'...

By Anonymous - 21/12/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 217

You deserved it 5 856

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Same thing different taste

By lebato97 - 09/12/2011 03:35 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 660

You deserved it 80 869

Doggy dog world

By this means war! - 19/02/2022 14:00

Today, I reported my neighbor to the leasing office for never picking up her dog’s turds. They told me they couldn't do anything without proof, so I snapped a picture and sent it in. Ever since then, I’ve been getting dog turds thrown on my porch. Coincidence? I think not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 151

You deserved it 217

By i believe in shaq - 19/08/2012 22:28 - United States - Muskegon

Today, my husband announced that he was fed up with us being known as the neighborhood slobs, and prepared to take down all the Christmas decorations still up from last year. He then decided it was too much effort, and that he'd leave them up to give us a three month head-start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 621

You deserved it 6 328

By holyshitsnacks - 18/03/2014 22:53 - Canada - Woodstock

Today, the snow in my backyard melted, revealing just how much dog shit accumulated underneath it this winter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 484

You deserved it 7 843

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 388

You deserved it 50 967

By brokenrainbow. - 31/12/2009 13:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally discovered the reason my front room smelt funny. My dog, thinking the Christmas tree was real, has been peeing on it for the past two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 203

You deserved it 5 153

By Anonymous - 13/12/2016 13:27 - United States - Mountain View

Today, I punished my new dog for taking a shit inside by putting him in the kennel. He punished me by breaking out of the kennel and destroying everything in my house. Including Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 222

You deserved it 3 367

There goes the neighborhood…

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 11:00

Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 65

By wellokaythen - 14/05/2013 19:52 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 924

You deserved it 5 106

By tishihish - 12/12/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 928

You deserved it 2 820

iomnomnomux3 0

Wednesday 21 December 2011 8:41

you go glen coco.

misfitmonroe 4

Wednesday 21 December 2011 8:38

That is hilarious

Comments

hennessy89 34

Wednesday 21 December 2011 18:58

OP, love your vocabulary. It sucks that your neighbor is giving you shit (literally) but I do think this is a funny story

seafoam11 8

Wednesday 21 December 2011 19:18

You should leave a note on his door that says "Dear Curmudgeonly, Holidays-Hating Fuckball, Stop messing with my shit. Happy Holidays, Your Neighbor"

jackiekaptur 0

Wednesday 21 December 2011 19:20

Haha!

FrankHotpants 31

Wednesday 21 December 2011 19:43

Purchase some security cameras, record the acts, report the mischief.

r_stiltskin 2

Wednesday 21 December 2011 19:52

funny! someone was a sense of humor!

sarahbeth16 8

Wednesday 21 December 2011 19:54

You must have the Grinch for a neighbor.

happymum_fml 10

Wednesday 21 December 2011 20:42

He does have a sense of humor! :)

ricrindi 4

Wednesday 21 December 2011 20:55

This is awesome!! I want someone in my neighborhood to have reindeer so I can copy this!!!

bizarre_ftw 21

Wednesday 21 December 2011 20:59

Get a camera and get the jackass in legal trouble! Merry Christmas! Ho Ho Ho, it's the cops! :)

structuredchaoz 4

Wednesday 21 December 2011 21:03

Time to buy a pellet gun

Keywords

Social Media Embarrassing Facebook Work Virginity Sex Intimacy Health Painful School Awkward Dating Tinder Love Skincare Anxiety Relatable Sextoys Poopoo peepee Art Kids Covid Birthday Relationship advice Cars Transportation Gross Family Neighbours Lonely

The Top

Today, I volunteered to babysit my niece. How hard can it be to entertain a toddler for a few hours? Turns out, very hard. Within minutes, she'd turned the living room into a war zone, with crayon graffiti and a trail of sticky handprints leading to who knows where. By the time her parents got back, I was ready to sign up for a lifetime supply of earplugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 367

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The Top

Today, I took my girlfriend to a festival. The very first thing we saw when we got there was a guy being wheeled away by paramedics. She freaked out and demanded we leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 377

You deserved it 313

Today, and since we moved on base, my neighbor’s wife has tried to have an affair with me. I got tired of it and told him. He blew smoke. I found out she’s in a cheating wife’s club, who all defend each other. She proclaimed to all our neighbors that I’m a predator and I'd attacked her. They believe her instead of my wife, who saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 557

You deserved it 115

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 113

You deserved it 4 851

Today, I actually feel good about my decisions and my life. I've even started running to improve my health, and recover from self harming. My girlfriend is convinced I'm running to hurt myself, and won't let me near any health food or the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 85

Today, I got a really bad sunburn. On my eyelids. Who knew blinking could be so painful? FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 407

You deserved it 4 718

Today, I contacted my landlady to tell her that I approved of the girl she recommended for a sublet. She then told me she thinks this girl is a neo-Nazi. Why? The e-mails she sent to the girl were rejected as spam. Apparently, this and being German qualifies you to be a neo-Nazi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 395

You deserved it 411

Same thing different taste

Doggy dog world

Pick it up

There goes the neighborhood…

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