Love: Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking... - FML

By royallymessedup - 21/08/2014 16:36

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 640

You deserved it 7 881

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Same thing different taste

By Ad-s - 14/01/2009 05:01 - France

Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 424

You deserved it 22 858

By Anonymous - 06/07/2013 11:26 - United States

Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 713

You deserved it 6 793

By Sovekipisse - 15/06/2013 22:24 - France - Arthon-en-retz

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 546

You deserved it 4 183

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 01:20 - United States

Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 513

You deserved it 3 240

By Anonymous - 27/05/2014 19:26 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 768

You deserved it 5 496

By Thai that on for size - 25/09/2015 19:56 - New Zealand - Silverdale

Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 419

You deserved it 2 664

By Isitreallythatbad, - 22/12/2013 05:37 - United States

Today, I went to a local bar for a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at my face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 527

You deserved it 3 646

By genderless - 17/10/2016 19:34 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, the person I was seeing asked to be just friends. A few hours later, they tried to talk me into having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 219

You deserved it 1 284

By Anonymous - 03/07/2015 19:29 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 673

You deserved it 3 469

By Anonymous - 12/05/2014 00:14 - New Zealand - Napier

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 805

You deserved it 7 816

Next

Top comments

rhysfucker 24

Thursday 21 August 2014 23:07

That's what he was hoping for.

mkstar13 13

Thursday 21 August 2014 23:07

He was probably a drunk asshole. That sucks OP

Comments

vividpictures 17

Friday 22 August 2014 4:16

I did the exact thing the other day. This type of thing always happens to me when I get nervous.

JKPwnage 27

Friday 22 August 2014 4:16

Oops

smittyboy123 16

Friday 22 August 2014 4:26

If that's his pick up line, I doubt he'll have any std's!

csjmcc 11

Friday 22 August 2014 6:08

You could say he was a little...... Cocky..... Sorry I will show myself out.

113421145311564 14

Friday 22 August 2014 11:25

Out. Get out. Oh wait....

srek 3

Friday 22 August 2014 7:15

#shrek #swag#yolo#wow#mlg#faze#fml

f_mine_fer_sure 6

Friday 22 August 2014 10:10

I dunno, sounds pretty effective to me...and original. Rather spunky, actually.

ViviMage 38

Friday 22 August 2014 14:02

I get tongue tied a lot myself and say equally stupid things!

catanita 18

Friday 22 August 2014 14:30

Guys like that do not deserve to be polite with so cut the PLEASE part.

ILookAtFMLs 13

Friday 22 August 2014 17:07

"Why I'd be delighted! Please, **** away."

Jamaican_Domo 10

Friday 22 August 2014 17:24

"Tongue tied" that's what you call it...

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 30 718

You deserved it 1 753

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 490

You deserved it 4 171

Today, while on an airboat exploring the Everglades, my cousin decided it would be funny to push me off the boat. Into water full of alligators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 150

You deserved it 355