Animals: Today, since I've been paying attention to my newborn, my pet...

By bird problems - 07/03/2016 17:42 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, since I've been paying attention to my newborn, my pet cockatoo learned to cry like the baby on the middle of the night. I haven't gotten more than four hours of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 321

You deserved it 2 724

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Same thing different taste

Enjoy the sirens

By Anonymous - 17/03/2023 04:00

Today, my parrot learned how to imitate my baby's crying. Now, every time the baby cries, the parrot joins in, and it sounds like a chorus of screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 169

Teamwork

By Anonymous - 24/11/2021 05:01

Today, my newborn daughter has kept me up all day and all night for the past few days. Usually my husband sleeps. I finally cracked and yelled for his help, only for him to scream at me that he needs sleep and gives her to me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 200

Bumpy ride

By Mum2be - 25/07/2021 02:01

Today, my baby kept me up all night, and I only got 3 hours sleep. Normal, right? He's not even born yet and I'm only 5 months along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 201

By a very unlucky dude. - 18/06/2014 06:37 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I learned the valuable lesson that taking care of a baby crow isn't the best idea. He finally can fly away, but sits on my porch all day cawing for food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 193

You deserved it 13 392

By MacGrouber - 17/03/2011 00:12 - United States

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 844

You deserved it 4 743

Bird song

By Anonymous - 23/10/2019 20:00

Today, I figured I've been watching too many horror films, due to my parrot mimicking a women's blood-curdling screams that he heard in a movie. How do I know? He decided to reproduce the screams at 3 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 571

You deserved it 427

Alexa, play "Make It Stop" by Low

By Sonotsuave - 22/10/2022 12:00 - United States - Mclean

Today, like every day since the new neighbors moved into the townhouse next door, their newborn won’t stop crying. The room the two toddlers and newborn are in apparently shares a wall with my bedroom, so I hear crying while I work remote, study remote, and try to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 125

It's gonna be alright

By Babyhazy - 05/06/2016 21:52 - Australia - South Yarra

Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 471

You deserved it 1 456

Dr Dolittle

By Anonymous - 02/02/2023 16:00

Today, my dog won't stop barking at his own shadow, my cat won't stop purring while kneading on me, and my new kitten won't stop squeaking. It's all very cute, but I can't sleep at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 300

By weep weep weep - 12/03/2012 03:04 - United States

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 920

You deserved it 3 839

christophbak 14

Monday 7 March 2016 22:57

1. Learn the cockatoo a nursey rhyme 2. You and the baby fall asleep easily 3. ??? 4. Profit!

Ramb0 20

Monday 7 March 2016 22:58

This is why you get dogs.

Comments

JHamm2121 15

Friday 11 March 2016 7:03

Time to kill the bird!! Cockatoo, it's what's for dinner.

thathobothere 17

Saturday 23 April 2016 12:01

Get a feral cat, both problems solved.

Keywords

Annoying Music Boredom Transportation Awkward Cars Embarrassing Family Babysitter Relatable Kids Thief Money Miscellaneous Food Gross Farts Health Depression Mental health Weird Creepy AITA Pregnancy Star Wars Social Media Facebook Wanker Work Bodyshaming

The Top

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 778

You deserved it 5 102

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 251

You deserved it 7 782

The Top

Today, my husband lost his keys again. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 360

You deserved it 8 697

Today, after I just bought a house that is pretty good and suits all our needs for space, my in-laws moved in because they ran into financial troubles. Guess who is stuck with all the extra expenditures? FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 94

Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 489

You deserved it 3 044

Today, my friend had a Coke can on his desk in class. It was empty but I was thirsty so I picked it up thinking I could try to get that little bit of Coke always left at the bottom. When I took a sip I found out he had been picking his fingernails and putting them in the can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 702

You deserved it 56 608

Today, I fucked up by clicking on my ex's new partner's stories while deep-diving into their Instagram. Now they know I'm still lurking in the shadows of their social media because they can see who viewed their stories, and I can feel the judgment radiating through the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 659

Today, my dentist kept staring at me with a worried expression while working on me. Concerned that something was wrong with my teeth, I asked her what was the matter. She replied, "I'm not a dermatologist, but you should go to a doctor, I think you have staph." She was referring to my acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 438

You deserved it 135