Intimacy: Today, my wife and I were watching a football game. While someone...

By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 19:48 - United States - Maryville

Today, my wife and I were watching a football game. While someone was about to score, she started screaming, "Go!" and "Come on! You can do it! Go baby, go!" My first thought was that I wished I could still make her scream like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 949

You deserved it 12 692

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/04/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 698

You deserved it 19 186

By Fatality - 28/10/2010 16:29 - Canada

Today, for once, I managed to get my boyfriend's mind off the hockey game. I muted the TV and cuddled up to him. Only thirty seconds into snuggling, he shoved me onto the floor and screamed, "GOAL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 948

You deserved it 30 891

By kinlin - 02/06/2018 19:00

Today, an attractive woman looked in my direction and smiled. My wife saw this and stomped on my foot, and I screamed like a little girl from the pain. People turned and stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 078

You deserved it 933

Watch your step

By the guy that didn't get his kiss - 25/06/2021 16:01

Today, while at a football game, I had my arm around my girlfriend. We were really close and I was just about to kiss her when suddenly her phone rang. It was her dad, telling her he's watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 139

By undoable - 08/09/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 183

You deserved it 9 755

By gutted - 07/05/2012 02:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 931

You deserved it 2 874

By Anonymous - 16/07/2011 05:38 - Canada

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 447

You deserved it 6 092

Help!

By Anonymous - 23/04/2013 11:25 - United States

Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 961

You deserved it 6 421

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

By Panek - 07/10/2021 23:01

Today, I had a panic attack because my wife yelped at me. What did I say that made her yell? I told her that I had just been diagnosed with a panic disorder that's triggered by people yelling at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 136

Inspired

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 06:24 - France

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 589

You deserved it 22 342

EvilLittleMan 23

Tuesday 14 January 2014 0:40

OP, I think your wife has benched you.

Pleonasm 35

Tuesday 14 January 2014 0:41

Look, it's not about how well you score, it's about how much of a team player you are.

Comments

B0n351337loser 7

Saturday 8 February 2014 9:53

Karuma Sutra? Viagra? penis pump?

Crystalkitty22 11

Tuesday 11 February 2014 7:57

I cheer like that while I'm on the sideline for my football team... I feel weird now because I'm on a team with all guys. ( If it's not clear, I play football )