Neighbours, Scary and Miscellaneous: Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god,...

By ldrik1 - 11/06/2014 20:36 - United States - Syracuse

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 220

You deserved it 4 807

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Same thing different taste

Spooked

By Anonymous - 18/03/2021 08:01

Today, I found out that the loud "firecrackers" I heard the night before were actually shotgun blasts by my neighbor murdering his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 70

By bettercallpeta - 15/02/2013 05:42 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 074

You deserved it 11 151

By oopsies - 04/07/2011 09:11 - United States

Today, I found out that the 2 loud "firework booms" I heard were actually a guy shooting his dog on the unfinished road behind my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 557

You deserved it 3 050

By Anonymous - 14/10/2013 07:13 - United States - Eagle Point

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 114

You deserved it 3 540

By Shit - 27/04/2014 17:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 612

You deserved it 6 742

Defense!

By ruined_suit - 17/04/2009 21:12 - United States

Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 105

You deserved it 7 123

SHUT UP

By Anonymous - 21/07/2019 16:15

Today, the neighbors' kid got a new airhorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 040

You deserved it 93

By Boo - 14/07/2011 08:59 - United Kingdom

Today, my new neighbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 720

You deserved it 9 070

The creepy guy next door

By Anonymous - 05/06/2013 22:09 - United Kingdom - Worcester Park

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 096

You deserved it 4 479

Sorry, I…

By signupsheetfail - 12/08/2009 19:02 - Canada

Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 875

You deserved it 41 873

damnit1989 16

Thursday 12 June 2014 5:48

Well that blows

Paco_el_Taco 17

Thursday 12 June 2014 5:48

Well at least you know where to go when the zombie apocalypse begins.

Comments

shwankae 7

Thursday 12 June 2014 6:22

Honestly?

spluver0005 17

Thursday 12 June 2014 6:23

That's pretty cool honestly. I went to a camp that would wake you up by cannon. It even had a name: Buttercup

Drcreepypasta 9

Thursday 12 June 2014 6:47

I hope it blows your house up and also FML shuts down for good. **** FML and Any non white #masterrace.

tj4234 35

Thursday 12 June 2014 8:01

Considering how, very, possible it is for a canon to explode, I think OP has a valid reason to be scared with one being fired beside their house.

lina21 12

Thursday 12 June 2014 6:51

Is that even legal? Firing a weapon in an area with more housing

z3r0d4z3 22

Thursday 12 June 2014 8:01

depending on the firearm, 500 yards away from a road/housing is law. Op did say he was in the woods.

Fuzy2K 7

Thursday 12 June 2014 6:58

Is his name Pachelbel? :P

ohSNAPyall 26

Thursday 12 June 2014 7:36

Indeed.

Witchylady 17

Thursday 12 June 2014 8:22

Isn it illegal to build and own a cannon in the USA?

blackonblight 32

Thursday 12 June 2014 13:12

Hahahaha why would you think that? The US of A, where "maybe we should see who's getting guns" means "GUBNMINT WANTS TA TAKE MA GUNS! Inta the bunker kids!" Sorry, the amount of mass shootings this year has left me pissed at the gun-nut fringe.

jmfreee 16

Thursday 12 June 2014 13:42

Wow. Good to know that how we sound.

Randomxnp 10

Thursday 12 June 2014 18:59

The total amount of gun violence in the USA is going down, not up. That is as the number of legally-held firearms is increasing rapidly. Also the number of school shootings is massively exaggerated; a recent meme from the anti-gun kooks increased the number by over 75% by including suicides and gang-bangers accidentally shooting themselves. The solution to school shootings is of course not to name the shooter in the media. That is the advice of a police psychologist who says that they tend to come in spates, later ones triggered by the publicity for the first. Yet the left-wing media are increasing publicity in order to advance a gun-control agenda, thus quite possibly triggering more incidents.