Health: Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli,... - FML

By I'maboutobarf - 31/01/2013 10:28 - Australia

Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 249

You deserved it 2 781

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Juicer

By alcomom - 01/07/2020 02:02

Today, I spent ages prepping, chopping, bagging and freezing lots of fruits and veggies for my mom. I also bought her a juicer and alkaline water to help combat some of her health issues. I walked into the kitchen to see her mixing her juice with vodka and rum instead of the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 288

You deserved it 258

All grown up

By Anonymous - 22/07/2022 00:00

Today, I made broccoli and peas with dinner. My girlfriend pouted, sulked, and refused to eat "yucky veggies", demanding fries or chips. Apparently, I'm dating a fucking toddler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 246

By iGreen - 09/07/2011 14:34 - Canada

Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 540

You deserved it 3 617

Blasted

By Fauna - 09/05/2019 04:00

Today, I started to make a protein shake to have a healthy breakfast. It exploded. Turns out, my mom lost the rubber gasket and put the blender back, so it looked ready to use. By the time I cleaned it all up, it was time for me to leave for work. I'm now eating chips from the vending machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 748

You deserved it 172

By emeraldarcher74 - 19/11/2016 18:34 - United States - Lake Stevens

Today, my mother made me a delicious meal of gravy, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, and cranberries. Overjoyed, I tried to give her a hug. Instead, I accidentally punched her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 258

You deserved it 1 341

By WhatdyaDo - 16/03/2009 09:55 - Canada

Today, I spent a solid four hours and over one hundred dollars preparing a nice fancy meal for my new girlfriend. A delicious three pound rack of ribs with a sweet and sour marinade. Steam broccoli with melted cheese. Home made buttermilk biscuits. I serve the meal. She doesn't eat beef. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 940

You deserved it 69 304

By Jensa - 16/01/2015 21:59 - United Kingdom - Buckingham

Today, my mother kindly brought me some soup as was recovering from having my tonsils out. Spicy Mexican bean soup. Yep, very spicy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 959

You deserved it 2 554

Smooth blend

By Anonymous - 08/04/2023 16:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was excited to try out my new blender, but when I turned it on, the lid flew off and sprayed smoothie all over my kitchen. Now I have a fruity polka dot pattern on parts of my kitchen's walls and ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 340

By LameChef - 10/03/2015 18:43 - Poland

Today, after years of providing daily various home-made colourful meals for three kids and a husband, I was asked to "cook something cool, like instant hamburgers, not that lame healthy shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 154

You deserved it 5 018

Healthy lifestyle goals

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 10:00

Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 174

Next

Top comments

Catkam623 27

Thursday 31 January 2013 16:41

Hey athletes take everything in liquid form and now, so do you:)

Pleonasm 35

Thursday 31 January 2013 16:43

She is so considerate, doing the mechanical digestion part for you, so you don't have to! She is saving you time and energy!

Comments

AssTard 15

Thursday 31 January 2013 21:05

"Hi, Billy Mays here! Are you tired of making large, complicated dinners? Well, no worries! Now there is the new: DinnerBlender! Put all that shit you usually cook into this handy contraption, blend it, and voila! Dinner is served!"

mfayem 15

Thursday 31 January 2013 21:23

I read that in his voice XD

Shchenya 7

Thursday 31 January 2013 21:18

If it was beef stock instead of water, and left slightly chunky, it'd be a rather nice soup...

lilmonk 2

Thursday 31 January 2013 21:43

Wouldn't that just be

Steffi 26

Thursday 31 January 2013 21:45

Eating like that gives you more energy, and helps you lose weight.

maddygirl820 10

Thursday 31 January 2013 22:14

How could you actually eat that…

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 31 January 2013 22:27

Most things don't end well in cup. Ie 2 girls, 1 cup.

Psycho_Babydoll 26

Thursday 31 January 2013 23:05

Tomorrows dinner will be a glass of pizza.

NurseAbi 10

Thursday 31 January 2013 23:14

So, soup then.....

KiwiDreamweaver 8

Thursday 31 January 2013 23:16

I've kind of always wanted to try that. I mean, chicken parmesan in a cup, or a nice salad smoothie? Convenient and tasty.

ulissey_fml 22

Thursday 31 January 2013 23:26

When I eat at your Mum's, I must make a note NOT to try and blend in...

2
3
4
5
6
7

Keywords

Clothes Miscellaneous Music Argument Animals Cats Family Love Relatable Awkward Jealousy My ex Health Parents Job interview Work AITA Money Scams Diets Cars Painful Vegan Allergies Customers Politics Landlords Kids Airplanes Transportation

The Top

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 432

Today, in the middle of an argument, my husband picked me up and sat me on our breakfast bar. I’m terrified of heights so getting down took me over 5 minutes because of how bad I was shaking. He left to meet his friends, who “don’t start arguments just because they’re bored.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 777

The Top

Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 172

You deserved it 2 584

Today, my boss is being so cheap, he'd rather type in the dark, not fix our water heater or replace our cordless phone because he will not get his bonus if he goes over the budget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 145

You deserved it 2 499

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 805

You deserved it 6 261

Today, I thought my coworker had confided to me that a close friend had died too soon, but it turns out she'd just ruined an expensive pan. We talked for 10 minutes and she cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 97

Today, I ordered some food and included a slice of cheesecake. However, I think they glued the Tupperware lid together and I didn't actually want to launch the cheesecake into the air when I finally got it open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 122

Today, while I was wearing a blue coat, a coworker asked me what color my coat was. Confused, I said, “...blue?” He and my other coworkers burst out screaming with laughter. Turns out he didn’t say ‘coat’ but ‘poop’. I work with a bunch of five year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 96