Miscellaneous: Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them...

By dry spell - 02/07/2013 16:17 - United States - Belfair

Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 239

You deserved it 4 792

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Houston

Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 333

Egg mode

By KillahCam - 26/01/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, my ten year-old brother told me that his thirteen year-old friend took one of my bras and two pairs of my underwear a few weeks ago. Apparently he took them out of my room, put them on, and has been sleeping with them ever since. He's coming to give them back tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 110

You deserved it 2 600

Judgmental much!?

By Stairway2Heaven - 02/03/2009 21:03 - Canada

Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 649

You deserved it 19 443

By condiments - 22/02/2010 21:13 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 136

You deserved it 3 059

By bob - 05/02/2011 12:02 - United States

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 140

You deserved it 4 218

Why mother, why?

By Gee, thanks mom - 15/02/2022 14:00

Today, my mother yet again chose to put my brother's junkie of an ex-girlfriend's needs and happiness above mine, despite the fact that she's stolen thousands of dollars and anything else of value from my mom's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 84

By NaomiMadison - 30/07/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 101

You deserved it 3 138

Get out

By Anonymous - 10/08/2014 17:24 - Germany - Würzburg

Today, my mother kicked me out of the house because her new boyfriend needs my room. Evidently he also needs my credit card, passport, and wallet too, because she kept all three, while tossing everything else out on the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 222

You deserved it 3 239

By Anonymous - 15/07/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to shower, his mother slams a pair of underwear on the table and tells me that if she ever finds something like that in her son's room again, she is forbidding him from seeing me. The underwear isn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 759

You deserved it 2 620

By megan228 - 20/03/2009 21:16 - United States

Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we were inside, my mom yelled to me, "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 498

You deserved it 9 016

yoimtrollin 24

Tuesday 2 July 2013 22:35

And your little brother is what age?

rg350dx 29

Tuesday 2 July 2013 22:45

Sounds good. Bend over ;)

Comments

brittyboo123 35

Tuesday 2 July 2013 22:40

Well, is she lying?

perdix 29

Tuesday 2 July 2013 22:45

That's a nice idea, but really the guy should supply them. How do you know if he's going to require a Magnum, a regular or a "fun-size?"

pipboy3billion 7

Wednesday 3 July 2013 0:00

There is nothing fun about fun size

SuperDanielNL 23

Wednesday 3 July 2013 0:30

Tried it I presume? Or the gf wasn't too thrilled?

Nohman 14

Tuesday 2 July 2013 22:45

Well, will you?

rg350dx 29

Tuesday 2 July 2013 22:45

Sounds good. Bend over ;)

challan 19

Tuesday 2 July 2013 22:45

Remember that condoms only have a year long shelf life! She might be giving your brother the gift that keeps on giving.

perdix 29

Tuesday 2 July 2013 22:49

#18, if "shelf life" is a year, what do you think "wallet life" is? About 31 hours?

Ebola_fml 20

Wednesday 3 July 2013 0:56

Zero if you sit on it. Pressure is not good for them.

perdix 29

Tuesday 2 July 2013 22:51

Your mom sucks! She has left you completely vulnerable and unprotected . . . in case of a surprise water balloon attack!

cieloalicia 16

Tuesday 2 July 2013 22:52

And she would know this how, exactly?

Colorguardlife_t 14

Tuesday 2 July 2013 22:53

She shouldn't know that much!!

strike2867 13

Tuesday 2 July 2013 23:05

Wait two weeks, then tell her you're pregnant, show her a fake test.

pinguino3669_fml 23

Wednesday 3 July 2013 0:27

And giving them to your younger brother is better how?!

Keywords

Love Awkward Relatable Students Work Racism Health Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Food Revenge Animals Cats Boredom Management Kids Parenting Sexism Parents Miscellaneous Weird Job interview Social Media Jealousy

The Top

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 622

You deserved it 34 712

Today, despite the fact that I'm happy and in love, my spiteful brat of a 12 year-old keeps spreading hateful and disgusting lies about my boyfriend doing unspeakable things while I'm away on business. Her dad told me he's reporting my boyfriend to the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 392

The Top

Today, my friend was telling me about her issues with her boyfriend, and I said, "Damn, that sounds just like a couple I know!" She asked me who, which is when I realised I was actually thinking about Davide and Ekin-Su on Love Island. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 781

Today, while discussing my vegetable garden, my father's new girlfriend announced that she loves vegetables in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 313

You deserved it 414

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason why my credit card mysteriously maxed out 2 months ago 'might have been' because she posted a picture of it on Facebook. I ordered a new credit card without the custom picture of us immediately. She broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 513

You deserved it 6 133

Today, my brother-in-law still insists on referring to me as "his brother's wife" and tells everyone I'm not his "sister-in-law." I've been married to his brother for 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 159

Today, I stubbed my toe, and as I was hopping about clutching my toe and swearing like a drunken sailor, I turned and saw my boss, our CEO and pretty much the entire board of directors through the boardroom's open door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 512

Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 545

Same thing different taste

Egg mode

Judgmental much!?

Why mother, why?

Get out

Top comments

Comments