Intimacy: Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian,...

By whovian - 25/12/2014 15:17 - United States - Gorham

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 536

You deserved it 4 621

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
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Same thing different taste

By djl - 20/12/2012 05:30 - Canada - Beaumont

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 064

You deserved it 15 362

By Anonymous - 16/07/2010 23:43 - United States

Today, I learned that my mom's laptop was originally my Christmas gift. She opened it and decided she liked it so much she should have it. I got hot rollers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 754

You deserved it 2 733

By Anonymous - 01/12/2014 17:55 - United States

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 702

You deserved it 15 193

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 276

You deserved it 2 447

Prank war W

By Anonymous - 20/08/2014 21:03 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 299

You deserved it 9 907

Sharing is caring

By Can't Unsee - 25/08/2018 22:00

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 161

You deserved it 564

By Amazon Ruined My Life - 28/12/2018 14:00

Today, my mother opened her birthday gift in front of my entire family. Two days ago, I ordered an essential oil diffuser and flesh light from Amazon. Guess which one she got? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 234

You deserved it 3 415

By BrokenVow - 30/07/2009 12:02 - Canada

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 976

You deserved it 53 790

By Anonymous - 26/12/2009 01:23 - United States

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 549

You deserved it 3 394

Then it dawned on me…

By Bad dad - 14/08/2022 22:00

Today, at my mom's house, my daughter came running up to me with some sort of love heart hair band, demanding to wear it straight away. After a solid 30 seconds trying to figure out how the band fit around a child's head it started vibrating. It was my mom's sex toy from her bedside drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 191

tipsy2013 24

Friday 26 December 2014 3:44

I think OP's mom was telling her to go screw herself.

teentee401 36

Friday 26 December 2014 0:27

Whovian. A fan of the show Doctor Who.

Comments

martin8337 35

Friday 26 December 2014 15:24

I think you mom is a little bitt retardis.

orsombre_fml 11

Friday 26 December 2014 17:54

Waouh. Your mom is awesome: two gifts in one! You might want to open her future gift while alone, though. :-D

inolongercare 19

Friday 26 December 2014 19:37

She tried!

gabagabaheyu 10

Friday 26 December 2014 21:20

coolest gift ever

htownpostman 16

Friday 26 December 2014 22:06

What the hell is a whovian?

ughnotthatgirl 9

Friday 26 December 2014 22:26

FYL, OP, FYL. My parents stuck to buying me a boxed set of series 6 and a shitload of other doctor who stuff, but definitely not a *****. I wonder how high your mom was. Hope it wasn't too embarassing.