Animals: Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama...

By Anonymous - 27/05/2009 22:44 - United States

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 723

You deserved it 8 146

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Same thing different taste

Nuts

By Almost neutered - 02/07/2023 23:00 - United States

Today, I was laying on the couch when my cat decided to join. Instead of jumping, he opted to climb. While he was climbing, he put his paw on my junk and got his claws stuck there. He then tried to force them out, which hurt even more. It took almost a full minute to break him free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 130

Poor little guy

By Almost neutered - 28/11/2022 00:00

Today, my cat wouldn't stop attacking the strings on my pants, and I couldn't get him to stop. However, he did finally stop when he missed the strings and grabbed me by the dick, because I accidentally kicked him across the room when he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 227

CLAWS

By Attacksloth32 - 09/07/2021 01:59

Today, my cat was sleeping on me while I was laying in bed. I had to use the washroom, so I pushed him off. Except he used my testicles as a way to latch on to me, through my underwear. Let's just say, after having to change the sheets due to blood, I'm considering wearing a jockstrap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 224

Never disrespect the cat

By Rafiki - 22/02/2010 03:14 - United States

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 278

You deserved it 31 804

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 21:18 - United States

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 787

You deserved it 12 892

By Catremorse - 01/08/2019 14:00 - United States - Centreville

Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 549

Rocky VIX

By Anonymous - 29/09/2019 20:06

Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 350

You deserved it 354

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 06:00 - United States - Pittsford

Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 143

You deserved it 495

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 507

You deserved it 28 622

Get back here!

By catgirl911 - 13/10/2009 01:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 187

You deserved it 25 150

truslide 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 1:52

i am so sick of this pussy on pussy crime!!! LOL

mooseman 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 1:50

kinky.

Comments

rocker8877 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 4:30

I don't get how some people just say that she deserved it... dick-heads..

briana83 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 4:32

why do so many people hate the word "proceeded?" I don't notice the repetitious use of the word... O_o

xxhellokittyxxx 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 4:33

LOL maybe ur crotch smelled like tuna.

wellhello 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 4:34

eww. that will give you an infection. go check =/

sickofnames 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 4:34

First of all, no, this would not hurt as much as if it happened to a guy. But it would still be excruciatingly painful. So yeah, #107, you are wrong. There's a reason when a girl gets hit in the ******, she doesn't drop to the floor winded. Second of all, I completely believe that it went on for 30 seconds. When a cat digs it's claws into you, and won't let go, you cannot just yank it off. The claw would tear through your skin. Do you really think this girl is going to yank the cat off and possibly tear open part of her ******? You have to take them off delicately. This is completely believable. And I feel bad for the poor girl.

thuryn 2

Thursday 28 May 2009 4:34

That's your vulva. Your ****** is on the inside. Unless... OUCHIE! *shudder*

abcd2211 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 4:35

ur cats horny, so what

randomass 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 4:35

#39 is my hero. HAHA.

N00d13s 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 4:36

that sucks, but you did deserve to have it hang on for so long. Any smart person would either lift the cat up and see if it let go, or get down on the ground, or near a table, so the cat can let go and run. Or lift the cat so it doesn't fall, and hit it.

thuryn 2

Thursday 28 May 2009 4:37

By the way, the issue with a scrotum is not that it would hurt more, but rather that it can TEAR OPEN, doing horrible damage. It's loose skin that is easily caught by a cat's claws. At least your vulva - even scratched up - is likely to just heal back up, having been cleaned. Either way, it's going to hurt like hell.