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By Stank - / Sunday 6 May 2018 19:00 /
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By  Ali Alexandrea  |  16

I don't understand how you haven't brought this up. Regardless of his exhaustion it's for his own health and as his partner, with his best intentions in mind, you should be able to bring this up with him. Even just run a shower/bath for him when he gets home so he literally just has to step in. Unless ofc you have told him and he's just one unhygienic mf

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By  Ali Alexandrea  |  16

I don't understand how you haven't brought this up. Regardless of his exhaustion it's for his own health and as his partner, with his best intentions in mind, you should be able to bring this up with him. Even just run a shower/bath for him when he gets home so he literally just has to step in. Unless ofc you have told him and he's just one unhygienic mf

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  almost_there44  |  26

I agree with running a shower because I'm pretty sure OP makes dinner and her husband has enough time to eat. I just don't buy OP being empathetic for him. I think this is a habit of his and she is allowing this to happen and posting it on FML is easier than speaking to her husband about it. Working shouldn't be an excuse for being unhygenic.

By  almost_there44  |  26

If he can make it to and from work without dying on the road, he can take a shower for 10 minutes without falling asleep. The most disgusting part is the shit stains he leaves on the bed and you feeling comfortable enough to continue to sleep on the bed. No matter what you say about him, you are an enabler and are probably just as dirty because you don't speak up and continue to allow him to dwell in his own shit. Y'all are both grown but act like newborns.

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  almost_there44  |  26

Oh yeah! That's what I meant, not the one from his ass, although I wouldn't be surprised if that was happening too. I just hope that he's kind enough to wipe. He's basically laying in his own filth, but shit just seemed like a better word.

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Not that I'm excusing his behaviour, because it's gross, but you come off as someone who has never felt the exhaustion that comes from intense physical labour for that many hours.

I, however, do have that experience and I can tell you that sometimes "making it home" alive is a feat in and of itself. I can't tell you how many times I've almost kissed the guardrail and woke up just in time to avoid a highway accident.

And when you are labouring in that fashion, a 10 minute shower is a piss in a pond. It does literally nothing for you and having the energy just to take your clothes off, nevermind the 30 minutes of scrubbing this is necessary, is almost impossible when all you want to do is collapse.

Again, I'm not excusing the spouse. It's gross. But empathy and understanding is in order, here, and the simplistic responses a lot if these comments are providing just lack any knowledge or understanding of what this dude is going through and had to deal with

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  almost_there44  |  26

I see how I could have come off as rude, but 5 days without a shower is uncalled for. I can only empathize with this kind of behavior to a certain extent because I can shower while working 12-16 hour shifts and being a full time student. I have driven over an 2 hours just to make it from school to my house, so I know all about exhaustion. We can only draw conclusions from these short postings so yes, I may have rushed to bash OP and her husband's actions but it is somewhat warranted. There are many people that pull off hard shifts (health care workers, truck drivers, lawyers, teachers, etc.) and still find the time to shower. It's not just about keeping himself clean, it's about being mindful of his wife and co-workers. A 10-15 minute shower will not hurt him.

By  MamaChey  |  22

That’s disgusting. My husband is a GC who works just as many hours and showers as often as twice/day because of the physical labor. There is NO WAY I’d let a man lay next to me based on what you posted. As his loving wife, I believe you have a right to a clean man (& his coworkers will prolly thank you for it).

By  chosha_fml  |  25

Push him on it. In addition to the obvious grossness of him going to bed so dirty and smelly, his muscles could probably benefit from a hot shower and he’ll sleep better.

By  ezrajab  |  22

Good luck on this one op sorry ur on ur own fyl

By  Sanguinairius  |  29

I'm sure you can manage to talk to him further, insistently, and find a way to ensure he bathes. As gross as it may be, even if you have to get in the shower with him and wash his hair/back (had to do this for a worn out long haired boyfriend, too tired to pick the Babbitt and fiberglass out before bed) or invest in No Rinse Shampoo used for bedside bathing in hospitals and chuck a bottle at him with a washcloth. If you have talked to him about it quite a bit, then he's just being plain unreasonable and selfish at this point. My previous roommates and I once had to physically drag outside, spray dish soap on, and actually hose down a friend of ours in the backyard while they squealed and hollered like a true pig covered in their own filth because of the same sheer laziness and number of excuses, until we just couldn't tolerate them any further (and for the sake of the furniture). I hope you manage to resolve this soon, and that your husband manages to get a break from work for the sake of both your sanity's. Otherwise invest in a lot more bedding, some good nose-plugs and a ton of Vick's vapo rub. Good Luck!

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