Miscellaneous: Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we... - FML

By Anonymous - 18/07/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 140

You deserved it 3 736

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Same thing different taste

By Sarah - 17/08/2012 07:45 - Canada - Penhold

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 129

You deserved it 3 058

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 16:29 - United States - Woodland

Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 645

You deserved it 2 159

By Anonymous - 21/07/2009 17:16 - United States

Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 401

You deserved it 60 563

Neighborhood watch

By TheAnnoyedNeighbor - 03/10/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 586

You deserved it 3 285

By Anonymous - 01/01/2011 05:29 - Canada

Today, I went out for New Year's. When I got back, I found my house had been broken into. I found a note saying, "Happy New Year, sucker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 022

You deserved it 2 915

By Anonymous - 17/09/2013 17:23 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 601

You deserved it 4 057

By Aaron - 01/12/2011 22:00

Today, my house was broken into. How? My mom left a key under a flower pot on the porch. She also left a note on the door saying so. He stole all of my guitars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 526

You deserved it 2 743

By racello13 - 02/11/2015 15:26 - United States - Baldwinsville

Today, I've been robbed. I came home to find my oven door missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 453

You deserved it 1 813

By Amanda - 19/11/2010 05:14

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 334

You deserved it 3 839

By Lindso1 - 06/07/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 214

You deserved it 241

Next

Top comments

TheRealBruce 12

Monday 18 July 2011 12:04

well y'all better put them in a safe

macdaddymady 8

Monday 18 July 2011 12:03

man that's some scary shit, it's time to move

Comments

F2M2L 5

Monday 18 July 2011 13:49

how could you say ydi for this lol

kindlystfupls 0

Monday 18 July 2011 14:24

Easy. "YDI for have such stealable stuff!!" :) lol

JTthePurpleNinja 5

Monday 18 July 2011 13:53

it's like a thieving version of epic meal time ! time to invest in a baseball bat ? :P

charliebrown1272 0

Monday 18 July 2011 14:06

looks like the devil is the one robbing your house!

squanmonster 8

Monday 18 July 2011 14:11

they must be gingers

emtae6307 4

Monday 18 July 2011 14:11

simple, move

tona01 16

Monday 18 July 2011 19:19

simple call the cops, unless op is rich and can move around without breaking a sweat

sexykitty18 0

Monday 18 July 2011 14:18

if your a Ginger like me you don't have to worry

ginaatheging 3

Tuesday 19 July 2011 1:19

lmfao agreed

kindlystfupls 0

Monday 18 July 2011 14:19

Well, I mean, if you're gonna just leave em layin around...

KillerABN 9

Monday 18 July 2011 14:21

Leave a note for the next time telling them your soul was sold along time ago

deaththrash505 0

Monday 18 July 2011 14:28

Keep your soul in a briefcase with the combination 666. Then hire John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson to protect you and do your bidding. Problem solved.

Sniper3000 0

Monday 18 July 2011 14:33

yea move out asap

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The Top

Today, my best friend asked if I'd join him and his girlfriend for a 3-way. Since I've always had a crush on his girlfriend, I eagerly agreed. When I got there, I learned that their idea of a 3-way was them watching me jerk off while I watched them have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 572

You deserved it 2 672

Today, I learned that my husband “accidentally” let the dog out and allowed her to be eaten by an alligator because I got a male coworker, who is also a good friend of mine, a birthday present. We had an argument about our friendship, which apparently bothers him. I’d had that dog since I was a junior in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 108

The Top

Today, I found out that the "vines" I was cutting down this morning were actually poison oak. I can only see out of one eye, and I'm virtually unrecognizable due to the facial swelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 275

You deserved it 4 166

Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 347

You deserved it 2 335

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 681

You deserved it 10 543

Today, after calling my bank to see where my paycheck was, and waiting on hold for my entire lunch break, my boss told me she forgot to submit my deposit. I was relying on that money to pay for lunch today as I used all I had for bills. Looks like I eat tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 680

You deserved it 1 141

Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 841

You deserved it 559

Today, I found out my new neighbour tried to report me as a terrorist for, "speaking terrorist language and moving bags of that explosive fertiliser." I’m Japanese, and the bags were mostly rotting vegetables and animal dung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 290

You deserved it 79