Animals: Today, my girlfriend texted me, telling me to come home quickly,...

By Galaxy - 29/03/2014 17:03 - Belgium - Guigoven

Today, my girlfriend texted me, telling me to come home quickly, because she had a "surprise" waiting for me. I convinced my boss to let me go home, and rushed out. Turns out the "surprise" was just that she'd bought herself a pet bunny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 492

You deserved it 7 306

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/05/2016 21:47 - United States - Eugene

Today, I got off work early to go home and surprise my girlfriend with lunch, only to come home to her in the middle of packing up all of her stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 920

You deserved it 1 278

By dwood08 - 07/11/2014 01:55 - United States - New York

Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 016

You deserved it 15 913

By Anonymous - 11/05/2014 22:49 - United States - Belmont

Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 311

You deserved it 5 424

By SURPRISE - 10/06/2009 00:13 - Canada

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 615

You deserved it 6 819

By syn1734 - 16/10/2009 17:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me "she has a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So, I hurried home only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 138

You deserved it 3 423

By neverunderstood - 02/12/2016 12:39 - Italy - San Pietro In Casale

Today, my wife suddenly texted me to meet her halfway beetween our house and the supermarket. I immediately put my shoes on and started walking eager to get to her as fast as I could to surprise her. Turns out she was carrying three heavy bags and yelled at me for being slow and by foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 428

You deserved it 1 423

By madisonbubch - 23/09/2014 01:04 - United States - Vine Grove

Today, I got home from a long day at work, hoping to just fix dinner and relax, only to find that my cat had come into the house with a rabbit, and is now stuck underneath the cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 910

You deserved it 3 070

By Anonymous - 04/10/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 516

You deserved it 3 593

Backfire

By Darryl - 12/05/2015 12:53 - Australia - Tarragindi

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 450

You deserved it 4 963

By iamnotfat - 06/02/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 747

You deserved it 4 491

billiejoeinabox 7

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:13

I don't see a downside to this.

glabberfasted 16

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:14

You got out of work early AND you get to play with a bunny? Sounds like a good day to me

Comments

billiejoeinabox 7

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:13

I don't see a downside to this.

DrownedMyFish 18

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:40

It depends. If OP is getting paid by the hour, this comes out of his pay.

glabberfasted 16

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:52

17 - But he was all set to lose some pay for (what I assume he expected) some sex. I don't know how Belgium is, but most places I have worked in the US have PTO for times like this.

Liasse 7

Sunday 30 March 2014 18:35

The downside is that bunnies are not meant to be kept alone ;P, OP should buy his girlfriend another bunny(From the same gender ofc.) so the first bunny won't be lonely!

glabberfasted 16

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:14

You got out of work early AND you get to play with a bunny? Sounds like a good day to me

Calaraphea 16

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:15

You expected sex, didn't you?

PhilSnake22 13

Sunday 30 March 2014 7:14

You're saying that as though any other straight man in the world, ever, would have expected something different...

barakados 11

Sunday 30 March 2014 19:12

I would have expected a pet bunny...

nchic01 17

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:15

very urgent

Adm_Twigs 19

Sunday 30 March 2014 4:56

why yes it was, who wouldn't want to rush home to pet a bunny? although I'd rather pet a kitty

powerkicker 13

Sunday 30 March 2014 7:44

Kitties are pure evil my friend! Pure evil...

Godsofdracos 15

Sunday 30 March 2014 11:58

So are bunnies.... Or have we forgotten what that cute little bunny that could only be killed with a holy hand grenade did...

cyanidesandwich 21

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:16

Well, you got out of work, and you have a fun, loving creature in your house. The only thing better than this could be that she left a surprise for you in the bedroom.

Catahoulaqueen_fml 17

Sunday 30 March 2014 4:07

iAlissa 34

Sunday 30 March 2014 4:30

Something tells me that the bunny will leave more "surprises" in the bedroom than his girlfriend will. I have two bunnies, and they are ******** machines.

dachayke 16

Sunday 30 March 2014 5:44

29, have you never been on this site?

Moochi456 20

Sunday 30 March 2014 15:01

You know it's possible to litter box train bunnies? I don't know how because the two I kept lived outside in their cages, but you can google it. Better than getting a bunch of surprises from your ******** machines, right?

TunaFireStarter 16

Sunday 30 March 2014 22:43

There will always be accidents and some bunnies just down right won't do it.

iAlissa 34

Monday 31 March 2014 4:45

73, mine is litter trained actually! However, my sister's is blind, so the world is her toilet. Regardless of our efforts in training, she can't seem to figure it out haha

BrotherPhil 35

Tuesday 1 April 2014 0:57

Apparently they can be house trained.

Luigi2012SM64DS 6

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:16

Happy Easter!

pwnman 33

Sunday 30 March 2014 3:25

You're so weird, and I'm happy I banned you off of GBAtemp! XD!

pwnman 33

Sunday 30 March 2014 4:21

Glad that you're banned from GBAtemp, LuigiLotsOfNumbers.

dachayke 16

Sunday 30 March 2014 5:46

I don't see any giant rabbits ******** plastic eggs on my front lawn. Nope. Not Easter yet.

telli164 30

Monday 31 March 2014 15:29

#46. I'd be pissed if I got plastic eggs for Easter. Where da chocolate at!!!

JMichael 25

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:18

As long as it doesn't squeak all damn night and keep you awake what's the problem?

MidnaLink 33

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:30

Bunnies don't squeak, at least not the ones I've encountered on my front lawn.

iAlissa 34

Sunday 30 March 2014 4:31

No squeaking. They grunt, stomp, snort, squeal, honk, and even purr. Everything but squeaking. They're real vocal.

jmcr 27

Sunday 30 March 2014 5:16

And scream

dachayke 16

Sunday 30 March 2014 5:57

41, in agony while gollum breaks their necks and flips his shit while Sam tries to cook them.

ThomasBombadil 31

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:18

Bunny love.

mzgabbster 28

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:19

Please make sure that you and your GF do the proper research on rabbit care. There are so many harmful myths about rabbits that float around and if you were to follow them, as many do, then that poor bun will end up dead within a year or two.

Welshite 39

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:31

I'm starting to think people mistake this humor site for a depressing advice or sympathy column. We should start every comment with "Dear OP" just to make it official.