Animals: Today, my girlfriend texted me, telling me to come home quickly,...

By Galaxy - 29/03/2014 17:03 - Belgium - Guigoven

Today, my girlfriend texted me, telling me to come home quickly, because she had a "surprise" waiting for me. I convinced my boss to let me go home, and rushed out. Turns out the "surprise" was just that she'd bought herself a pet bunny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 492

You deserved it 7 306

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/05/2016 21:47 - United States - Eugene

Today, I got off work early to go home and surprise my girlfriend with lunch, only to come home to her in the middle of packing up all of her stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 920

You deserved it 1 278

By dwood08 - 07/11/2014 01:55 - United States - New York

Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 016

You deserved it 15 913

By Anonymous - 11/05/2014 22:49 - United States - Belmont

Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 309

You deserved it 5 424

By SURPRISE - 10/06/2009 00:13 - Canada

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 615

You deserved it 6 819

By syn1734 - 16/10/2009 17:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me "she has a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So, I hurried home only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 137

You deserved it 3 423

By neverunderstood - 02/12/2016 12:39 - Italy - San Pietro In Casale

Today, my wife suddenly texted me to meet her halfway beetween our house and the supermarket. I immediately put my shoes on and started walking eager to get to her as fast as I could to surprise her. Turns out she was carrying three heavy bags and yelled at me for being slow and by foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 427

You deserved it 1 422

By madisonbubch - 23/09/2014 01:04 - United States - Vine Grove

Today, I got home from a long day at work, hoping to just fix dinner and relax, only to find that my cat had come into the house with a rabbit, and is now stuck underneath the cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 910

You deserved it 3 070

By Anonymous - 04/10/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 516

You deserved it 3 593

Backfire

By Darryl - 12/05/2015 12:53 - Australia - Tarragindi

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 450

You deserved it 4 963

By iamnotfat - 06/02/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 747

You deserved it 4 491

billiejoeinabox 7

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:13

I don't see a downside to this.

glabberfasted 16

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:14

You got out of work early AND you get to play with a bunny? Sounds like a good day to me

Comments

Dumbledora 9

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:23

You were expecting something sexual, weren't you? Bunnies are awesome, though. They do, however, poop a lot.

calipilot227 16

Sunday 30 March 2014 6:16

That they do. But you can litter train them. Pretty easy if done right.

Bebbo_fml 21

Sunday 30 March 2014 23:35

Also if you garden outside their shit makes great fertilizer.

babygurll19 10

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:30

You get to go home early, your gf has a new pet; every bunny wins!

momo_sir 9

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:33

Nothing like a good pun.

Dashelle 25

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:41

Bunnies are awesome pets.

Pinkraincoat 18

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:49

Aww, that's sweet! She was probably so excited to share it with you! I love bunnies!

TheTedster 15

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:50

So what's the problem?

Nyx_fml 23

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:51

I bet you thought you were going to be ******* like bunnies.

CrazyMelvin 14

Sunday 30 March 2014 1:53

What is she, 5???

YellowKettleBell 31

Sunday 30 March 2014 5:16

Yeah, next she'll be wanting a pet unicorn.

dachayke 16

Sunday 30 March 2014 6:18

Watch out man, you might get the bronies upset.

Ziggy122 15

Sunday 30 March 2014 3:06

Not all surprises are ********. Quit thinking with your dick. Besides, bunnies are awesome and you got out of work early!

hamzor 5

Sunday 30 March 2014 3:08

Don't worry, play with the bunny for a bit and then play with your girlfriend :)

Farmillionaire 8

Sunday 30 March 2014 3:47

I have a little black bunny named niglet. (my wife whom is black named her that)

YellowKettleBell 31

Sunday 30 March 2014 5:18

If you're white, you'll probably still get in trouble for it :)

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I agree, your life sucks 19 816

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Today, I've been on a dating site for a while and I'd been doing great. Then I got really fucking drunk and sent messages like I wanted to eat their shit while it was coming out. One of them reported me and I got booted. I have decided to drink less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32

You deserved it 334

Same thing different taste

Backfire

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