Miscellaneous: Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed...

By Crispy - 21/06/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 230

You deserved it 46 116

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Same thing different taste

By missko519 - 22/05/2015 07:36 - United States - Broken Arrow

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 164

You deserved it 21 739

By Ellowise - 24/12/2009 10:06 - Belgium

Today, I used the tanning booth for the first time. Not only was I so white that I received first-degree burns all over my body, but I also forgot to remove my knee-high socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 673

You deserved it 47 169

By tgstreaks - 23/04/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 873

You deserved it 90 994

By owwwwwe - 09/01/2012 21:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 013

You deserved it 24 804

By LXA429 - 12/03/2010 07:35 - United States

Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 879

You deserved it 32 400

By fishwizard - 02/06/2017 20:00

Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 733

You deserved it 3 957

By tan disaster - 27/02/2009 23:09 - United States

Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 520

You deserved it 39 330

By thatsucks4u - 14/08/2010 00:56 - United States

Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 089

You deserved it 51 147

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 583

You deserved it 39 950

By kirstyrd - 12/08/2014 06:07 - United States - Germfask

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 996

You deserved it 36 104

reki_fml 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 12:11

Fast track to skin cancer.

tiemoon37 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 12:05

that's definitely your girlfriends fault! as a punishment, she will have to walk around next to you :)

Comments

GrapefruitZoe 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 16:33

Tanning beds aren't healthy, dude... Sorry 'bout that. Noxema!

disgruntled_stdt 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 16:41

The best part is OP's username - Crispy.

AshleyRose784 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 16:46

Cocoa butter and aloe, lots of it

mikew85 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 16:49

your girlfriend sounds like a self-concious bitch. people who tan a lot, in my experience are very stuck up and fake in other ways too. normally I'd mock you for doing something you don't want to because someone bugged you about it... but girlfriends can make your life miserable if you don't do what they ask! either get a new girlfriend or talk to this one and lay down the law. you don't want to get a tan because you don't feel the need to, and if she disagrees she can hit the bricks!

1234five 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 17:07

That's why u start off with 6 minutes and ease ur way up to 15. The person working there should have told u that

fxdxhk90 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 17:19

ydi for letting your girlfriend talk you intp doing something this stupid. Grow some balls and refuse next time.

Rockyio 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 17:35

LoL...I would say you deserve it, although I myself have done this, only difference being I am a hairy guy so I had also decided to nair myself before hand..... being burnts to shit with fresh hairs growing in is much much worse. FYL...and mine lol