nosestealer
Brampton, Canada
Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
So innocent
Today, my 5 year-old stabbed me in the back with a pencil because I "stole" her nose and wouldn’t give it back. My daughter has been sulking now for 3 hours and refuses to breathe until she gets her nose back. FML
unknown
United States
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
crzyry
Canada
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML
titoutou222
France
Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It's cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML
QueenCortana Tiffany Turner
Temper tantrum
Today, the cops were called to my apartment because my daughter had a temper tantrum while I was at work. She was naked when they were there. FML
imnotastranger
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
bail?
Omaha, United States
Today, my daughter's idea of a prank was taking all of our money and getting herself arrested. FML
...
San Francisco, United States
Home improvement
Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML
Anonymous
Makati, Philippines
Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML
Top comments
kzai 16
Did they help find it?!
MzZombicidal 36
Voldemort?
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Comments (178)
JokersHQ 21
Although hilarious, that does suck! Kids, man!
AboveAll04 14
#18, I had to read that like 7 times to understand what the **** you were saying ! re-read your shit before you post your comment -__-
acs123acs 22
Anyone think of the little girl from the alstate commercial.... [father ]: "smart kid" [daughter ]: "indeed"
strapper88 6
Would have been funnier if the police were in the area (on a quiet day) and turned up to play along to cheer her up.
worldclassrager 39
Oh my god this just made my day...
Druu 53
That's a lot of Haterade. You buy in bulk at Costco?
Druu 53
Oops. Sorry for the double post.
Merylwen 24
Best FML I've seen in a while =D
truesarrif 33
if I get moderated so be it. I know the moderators are diligent in keeping policies but I honestly have to question the legitimacy of this fml. Strikes me as fake. I'm just sayin
LilFlutter 10
I bet if you find a quarter behind her ear, she'll forget all about her missing nose. ;-)