Intimacy: Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions...

By bellaboop1990 - 14/07/2009 22:13 - United States

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 499

You deserved it 6 363

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Same thing different taste

By nah - 04/02/2009 14:35 - United States

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 960

You deserved it 7 570

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 18:30

Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 250

You deserved it 386

By bestbfever - 17/05/2017 02:00

Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 835

You deserved it 409

By Anonymous - 15/12/2011 17:26 - United States

Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 843

You deserved it 5 560

You OK dude?

By kvdfan - 27/08/2012 12:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 303

You deserved it 3 509

Knackered

By bandeek - 23/10/2016 18:52

Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 066

You deserved it 2 885

Couple of issues

By Anonymous - 03/10/2023 20:00

Today, my boyfriend confessed the reason we haven’t been intimate in months is because he can’t get it up unless he is drunk. I’ve been refusing to get intimate when he’s drunk because it’s not enjoyable and mostly painful, but I still have needs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 157

I'll take what I can get

By Queen LaQueefah - 13/09/2015 11:52 - United Kingdom - Chesterfield

Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 172

You deserved it 3 392

By LizP40 - 27/08/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 975

You deserved it 9 401

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 20:15 - Netherlands

Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 807

You deserved it 4 152

Toas7 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 2:57

"Today, my drunk boyfriend " This explains it.

efmivida 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 2:54

hes a jerk... or really weird

Comments

sam_stalker 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 3:44

Why is this in the INTIMACY section? shouldn't of be in the SEX section?

iFRUiTTART 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 3:53

Sam_stalker , the sex section got replaced with "intimacy" .

ily_hun996 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 3:59

"Sex" to "Intimacy" "My Life Sucks, but I don't give a F**k" to "Get the Guts to Spill the Beans" WHAT THE ****

Jakester 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 6:57

now they are being more kid friendly :/ yeah seriously this is stupid

iSmellNice 2

Wednesday 15 July 2009 23:30

Next, they'll change the site name to mylifesucks.com

sunshineegirl 2

Saturday 18 July 2009 20:08

ahh yeah, its pretty lame.

fretforyerlatte 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 4:06

FTW!

I_am_stupid_also 6

Wednesday 15 July 2009 4:06

So maybe he wants to try new positions in bed, but still no sex.

olisykes_ 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 9:08

Your name sums you up pretty well. (Not you, crazycok)

aback 4

Wednesday 15 July 2009 4:12

You haven't, but he has.

kira1kira 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 4:16

I'm scared to think about how he got confused....

devendra_fml 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 4:17

you deserve it for not trying different positions when you're not having sex with him.

mmmyeahsaraa 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 4:18

maybe he didnt know what he was saying? i mean after all....he was drunk

loverslanex3 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 4:24

Well that's a bummer. He was drunk though...

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The Top

Today, I was Whatsapping my boyfriend, as I am away for work. Before talking to him, I texted my work group I wasn’t feeling well after they invited me out. As I was chatting with what I thought was my boyfriend, I said, “I want your penis inside me.” And then realized I'd texted my work group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 310

You deserved it 3 726

Today, my new neighbour is delusional. She’s only lived next door 3 weeks and she’s called the police on me 11 times for “taking his bin out so he can look in my window”, “hanging out the washing so he can look in my window” and “barbecuing with his kids so he can look in my window.” Crazy bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 55

The Top

Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 264

You deserved it 13 643

Today, my ex called to ask me to pick up our kids, because she'd scored a hot date and didn't have time, and then didn't answered the phone over the next two hours. I live 80 miles away and have no idea what school they go to, since they moved to a new city. How the fuck did the judge give her full custody? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 279

You deserved it 156

Today, I suffered an uncontrollable sneezing attack. I have the runs. It wasn't exactly as bad as I'd have expected. Just a lot worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 653

You deserved it 1 554

Today, I had to give a presentation at school about King Richard III. I realized too late that someone had changed his name to "King Dick" on all the slides. My little sister later broke into hysterics and confessed this had been her April Fool's prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 047

You deserved it 2 986

Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 630

You deserved it 2 098

Today, I googled for an hour how to open my CD player on my laptop. Turns out, there is none. They just put a space there to make it look like a CD player. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 107

You deserved it 6 421