Animals: Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this...

By simple living - 29/04/2015 02:43 - United States - Austin

Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 867

You deserved it 2 677

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Same thing different taste

Top of the mornin' to ya!

By Anonymous Taco Man - 03/08/2021 08:01 - United States

Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 98

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 386

You deserved it 4 658

Splat!

By Anonymous - 11/05/2020 14:00

Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 207

Wake up Boo

By Megan Snair - 01/09/2019 04:01

Today, my cat threw up on the floor while I was taking a nap. I woke up, still groggy from the nap, and walked over to the bathroom. Not only did I slip on the vomit, spreading it all over the floor and myself, I think I somehow broke a toe in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 198

By Anonymous - 11/10/2018 17:30

Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 654

You deserved it 295

By good_gravy - 20/02/2012 19:39 - United States

Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 216

You deserved it 3 630

Still counts!

By Andrea Trevor - 07/08/2018 15:00

Today, I finally did the splits for the first time in my life! Unfortunately, it happened when I stepped in wet dog poop on my kitchen floor. One foot slipped forward in it, and I fell right on top of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 482

You deserved it 240

Chain reaction

By Anonymous - 03/05/2023 13:30 - Australia

Today, I got drunk and spewed all over my lounge room floor. My dog ate it up, also got drunk, and also eventually spewed on the floor too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 1 120

By Anonymous - 11/10/2012 05:08 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 625

You deserved it 2 907

By RustyBulletHole - 04/02/2009 07:53 - United States

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 158

You deserved it 2 357

cutycat136 28

Wednesday 29 April 2015 11:52

From having many pets and going through the same type of experiences, I'm sorry op. Hope your dog is alright and doesn't do it again anytime soon.

91hayek 31

Wednesday 29 April 2015 12:37

IT'S A SPEW-TIFUL MORNING! Sorry man, hope the dogs okay. I'd rather slip in spew than shit to be honest. Little mercies.

Comments

erin55378 17

Wednesday 29 April 2015 13:23

Clean up on aisle 10!

keiNan_fml 35

Wednesday 29 April 2015 13:24

Revenge of the fallen:2 Coming soon.

dawnaiken 2

Wednesday 29 April 2015 13:25

so sweet

igg125 30

Wednesday 29 April 2015 13:30

At least it your dog didn't puke on the carpet.

mcamilli 14

Wednesday 29 April 2015 13:35

At least he didn't throw up on the carpet? Hope your dog is ok!

x0ellison0x 21

Wednesday 29 April 2015 14:05

I hope you didn't hurt yourself! FYL

FusionPlacebo 26

Wednesday 29 April 2015 14:11

I go through the same problem almost every day. It's gotten to the point where I have to tip-toe around the house to turn on the lights.

JKPwnage 27

Wednesday 29 April 2015 14:18

Hope you're okay OP

TheOrangeOfLife 7

Wednesday 29 April 2015 14:21

There is someone that is down-voting all the comments, they must be having a shitty day. Hope your dog is okay, OP!

LazyLion 12

Wednesday 29 April 2015 14:32

Damn..... I've been there. Hope your dog starts feeling better.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 626

You deserved it 34 713

Today, I've finally got my mental health under control after decades of flailing. I also started showing signs of Serotonin Syndrome, which is caused by my meds and could result in seizure and death. So my choices are the swirling void of depression or possibly just the void. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 92

The Top

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 662

You deserved it 9 961

Today, one of the Haitians that works in the kitchen at my restaurant said something to me. Usually I can't understand them and I just smile and laugh, so that's what I did this time. Later, I found out he was trying to tell me his father had passed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 702

You deserved it 58 230

Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 077

You deserved it 4 262

Today, I learned that because I clean everything in my roommate's house and keep the lights low to save energy, and respect him and do things in the proper way I was raised, he and his friends and girlfriend think I’m weird and won’t speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 739

You deserved it 250

Today, I decided to be the "cool aunt" and take my nephew to a horror movie. I ended up being so scared, I burst into tears. Nothing says "cool" like having an 11-year-old walk a sobbing, grown woman from a theatre. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 885

You deserved it 12 232

Today, my college class has a strict rule that ANY absence, even if it's because you're sick and have a doctor's note, will drop your grade a letter grade. I have a chronic illness. Today is the second time in the first two weeks that I've had to show up to class with a bucket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 546

You deserved it 200