Intimacy: Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked...

By Anonymous - 10/02/2010 12:23 - United States

Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked me how my NutriSystem diet was going. He was looking at my friend's boobs when he asked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 072

You deserved it 2 501

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Same thing different taste

By Fatty - 27/12/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 490

You deserved it 4 171

Chubby life

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 18:00

Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 573

You deserved it 287

By oshitdonotwant - 08/08/2009 13:42 - United States

Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 497

You deserved it 4 072

By madisonnkelly - 06/07/2015 03:18 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 524

You deserved it 3 093

By The fat and the ugly - 27/10/2011 18:56 - Finland

Today, I was getting out of the shower, when my boyfriend decided to ask, "Did your boobs get smaller, or did you just gain weight around them?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 124

You deserved it 5 153

TMI Mom

By Why - 30/11/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I had the pleasure of listening to my mom tell me about how her and my dad's weight loss has helped them get more into it when they're being intimate. Suddenly I wish my parents were fat again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 284

By florisvanlent - 12/02/2009 16:17 - Netherlands

Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 586

You deserved it 56 365

By Female_Lucifer - 20/10/2013 13:02 - United States - New Lebanon

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 358

You deserved it 5 167

Creepy but funny

By Anonymous - 01/06/2012 20:46 - Greece - Athens

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "Recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 830

You deserved it 3 095

By peaaaak - 03/06/2011 10:17 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 198

You deserved it 5 051

whiffleball 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 19:55

how do you know he got a hard on? are you checking out your dad's junk?

whitesoxsean 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 19:54

ur dads a pedo

Comments

gecko13 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 1:04

Just checking out the menu!

mskg 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 1:11

oohhh:/ I feel so sorry for you!

samantha_durano 6

Thursday 11 February 2010 1:54

haha, lol your dads a little horn dog.

wkm1517 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 3:32

ewwwwww! your dad sounds like our pervert of a speech teacher at my school!

LULZ_O__o 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 4:04

I like your dad. all my dad does is watch playboy

Motocross363 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 4:21

ewww and be careful

colinwis 3

Thursday 11 February 2010 4:26

ur dad is a perve no offence

marsty 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 4:30

I want to know why you were staring at your dads crotch.... eeeeewwwww

terlolnator 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 4:30

threesome call

kkncsk 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 4:33

old men are creepy and gross

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Abuse Birthday Relatable Money Social Media Scams Kids School Education Parents Anger issues Teenagers Public freakouts Health Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee Camping Awkward Jewelry Love Bikes Transportation Cops Fight

The Top

Today, our company got hacked. Our secretary fell for someone badly impersonating the head of customer service and sent them a full list of employee information from one of our new clients. The boss wants to blame us in IT for not training her on how to avoid this. He fell for a phishing attack last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 76

Today, despite the fact that I'm happy and in love, my spiteful brat of a 12 year-old keeps spreading hateful and disgusting lies about my boyfriend doing unspeakable things while I'm away on business. Her dad told me he's reporting my boyfriend to the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 601

The Top

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find no toilet paper and a piece of shitty wallpaper in the bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 423

You deserved it 2 795

Today, I’ve been so stressed out lately about my health and mounting bills that my insomnia has returned with vengeance. I thought I’d masturbate to help get some relief, but turns out I’m too tired to even do the deed. Too exhausted to release, but my brain still won’t let me sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 170

Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 407

You deserved it 10 110

Today, I assisted my first customer at my first job as a Target cashier. When I rang up this lady's items and gave her the total, not only did she hiss at me and spit in my face, but she also dragged my manager over and demanded that he fire me. He did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 458

You deserved it 314

Today, I was shopping at Walmart when I ran into this stalker chick. She introduced me to her baby. He's named after me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 222

You deserved it 2 934

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend over Skype. I said I loved her and hoped we would be together forever. She responded by singing Who Wants to Live Forever into her mic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 943

You deserved it 4 188

Same thing different taste

Chubby life

TMI Mom

Creepy but funny

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