Intimacy: Today, my dad asked my step-mom if he could get some booty before... - FML

By missblue97 - 23/12/2016 08:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, my dad asked my step-mom if he could get some booty before bed because he still had energy. He didn't realize I was still in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 682

You deserved it 929

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Weird family

By Anonymous - 25/02/2021 08:01 - United States - Gloucester

Spicy

Today, my dad asked my mom to flash him. He didn't forget I was in the room, he just couldn't be bothered to wait. My mom obliged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 158

Back to reality

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 18:02 - United Kingdom - Saint Neots

Spicy

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 912

You deserved it 28 231

By CmS_1733 - 11/02/2016 18:59 - United States - Pottsville

Spicy

Today, after long day at work, I stopped by my parents' house to say hi. After 30 minutes into the visit, my dad turns to me and asks, "Did you really have to stop by while I was balls deep?" Apparently I interrupted my parents' sex time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 178

You deserved it 3 047

By ugh - 12/03/2010 06:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 096

You deserved it 3 612

By meeranda - 01/01/2010 05:07 - France

Spicy

Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 394

You deserved it 32 876

Classy

By bkay26 - 29/08/2010 15:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 797

You deserved it 7 643

Parental advice

By ifeeldirty - 27/10/2011 12:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 073

You deserved it 8 878

Knock first!

By Anonymous - 19/09/2023 06:00

Spicy

Today, I needed to ask my mom for something, so I went to her room without knocking and walked in on her and her boyfriend fucking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 824

By Anonymous - 20/11/2012 03:19 - Sweden - Stockholm

Spicy

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 509

You deserved it 17 427

I've seen things…

By chantelle - 12/03/2021 21:01 - Australia - Sydney

Spicy

Today, I woke up early and went into the kitchen to get a Monster, and my dad was getting head from his girlfriend with no pants on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 346

You deserved it 208

Next

Top comments

cylus13 9

Saturday 31 December 2016 10:42

Good for him. You will do it to your kids one day.

scyth3s 13

Thursday 29 December 2016 19:46

Your parents, even step parents have sex. Grow the **** up and deal with it. I don't think I'll ever understand why we're so touchy about parental sex. It is NORMAL.

Comments

ApplePie1994 27

Thursday 29 December 2016 23:44

Swiggity swooty daddy comin' fo dat booty!

ThrottleJockey 35

Friday 30 December 2016 2:52

If he mentions his peg leg and winks, think nothing of it.

ohnoyoudidnot000 0

Friday 30 December 2016 3:41

To funny! Well did he get to the pirates booty? Haha

Saava 29

Friday 30 December 2016 9:02

Better this way than if he DID realize you were there but didn't care

missblue97 30

Friday 30 December 2016 9:16

Just to follow up we all laughed about it and no I don't think he got any booty that night lol We're a tad too close but they never say when they're going to have sex so it just caught me off guard. I don't think this is the worst thing they've ever said, probably just the funniest situation so far

cylus13 9

Saturday 31 December 2016 10:42

Good for him. You will do it to your kids one day.

Keywords

Love Awkward Relatable Students Work Racism Health Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Food Revenge Animals Cats Boredom Management Kids Parenting Sexism Parents Miscellaneous Weird Job interview Social Media Jealousy

The Top

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 681

You deserved it 7 123

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 1 707

The Top

Today, my mother yet again chose to put my brother's junkie of an ex-girlfriend's needs and happiness above mine, despite the fact that she's stolen thousands of dollars and anything else of value from my mom's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 84

Today, while trying on bras in the changing room, I wanted to see what my friend's bra looked like on her. Not wishing to leave my changing room in my underwear, I wriggled under her door. When I got through, my bra had come nearly all the way down and when I tried getting back, I got stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 442

You deserved it 45 760

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 416

You deserved it 3 291

Today, I got sent out of the class for "inappropriate" behaviour. The teacher later forgot about me and sent a notice home to my parents stating that I skipped class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 399

You deserved it 7 324

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 229

You deserved it 5 266

Today, I sang my signature tune at a karaoke bar - What A Wonderful World - and I thought I sounded my best yet. After my performance, I went outside to get some air. Then, I got assaulted in the parking lot and ended up going to the hospital. What a wonderful world indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 035

You deserved it 5 538