Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where...

By rindawg - 20/01/2009 03:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 097

You deserved it 7 128

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Same thing different taste

Set the scene

By Fire0fisis - 23/05/2012 09:38 - Hong Kong

Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 917

You deserved it 11 127

By DDD - 31/01/2009 15:04 - France

Today, I had sex with a guy. As he was sleeping next to me, I checked his Facebook messages and saw that he sent a message to one of his buddies, asking what kind of lotion helps get rid of crabs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 379

You deserved it 66 760

Life's a beach

By Brittanyy_leigh - 17/12/2009 07:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 143

You deserved it 6 014

By threw my underwear out too - 03/12/2017 00:00 - United States - Hyde Park

Today, my girlfriend and I took a walk on the beach at night. We were completely alone, so she started blowing me. It was great for the first five minutes, but she had just eaten dinner and (apparently) wasn't feeling great. I ended the night in the shower picking vomit out of my pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 888

You deserved it 1 888

He had to find out eventually!

By Telley21 - 16/02/2017 06:00 - United States - Rexburg

Today, I made my boyfriend a beautiful dinner of seafood and rice. This was the first time I could afford lobster, and thought it would be a great treat for us both. I learned that this was the first time he has eaten lobster, and he learned that he is allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 204

You deserved it 506

By alltern8ive - 09/11/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 300

You deserved it 5 107

By Matt - 29/08/2010 04:53 - Canada

Today, I took my date out for dinner to a seafood restaurant and she ordered expensive prawns. Later, when we had sex, she started to complain about her stomach hurting and then had diarrhea for hours. Great job prawns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 784

You deserved it 5 036

By Krissy - 25/01/2010 08:36 - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 542

You deserved it 4 636

Downhill from here

By forewhatnow - 07/11/2009 08:47 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 736

You deserved it 9 834

By pinchy - 07/03/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he was taking me out to eat to his favorite restaurant. He said I could order whatever I wanted and he'd pay for it. He took me to Red Lobster, knowing full well that I'm allergic to seafood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 975

You deserved it 4 638

Tommy_fml 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 2:31

That's one nasty way to get crabs.

thewelshmetal 0

Monday 16 February 2009 20:44

maybe he likes fish sauce with his meat.

Comments

naysay91 0

Monday 1 June 2009 10:33

# 15 Obviously if he didn't wash his hands, chances are he still had the crap in his mouth too.

Mischief109 11

Friday 17 August 2012 1:24

I'm not sure if you meant crap or crab..

manduhh85241 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 22:11

Same thing happend to me. Except my boyfriend had just eaten Crawfish. and yes it ****** burnsss took me 10 min. to realize why it was burning then.. i had to put a cold rag there for like 2o minutes before it finally went away. LMAO FOL (**** our lives)