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FML - The follow-up

Today, my boyfriend is going on a trip with the bike union he used to train for. It's also the day I found out that the physiotherapist joining them is his ex-girlfriend. FML

superapple Say more :
OP here. My boyfriend and I haven't been together for long and as others have pointed out, the problem was that he didn't tell me straight up and I had to find out myself, which just made it look really really bad. He didn't tell me cause he didn't want me to feel bad throughout the whole time he was gone (he admitted he would've felt the same if it were the other way around and probably not talk to me for a while) but he didn't think far enough to come to the conclusion that I'd find out at some point (and probably start wondering why he chose to take his ex on all those trips). Now, apart from all that, he told me he doesn't believe in friendships between men and women as one of them is always looking for more than just that... apparently he only has one girl friend where the exception proves the rule, but that friend isn't his ex he took with him on the trip, so that kinda made me feel uncomfortable with the whole situation too. The fact that she talks about her miserable sex life and asks for advice from him kinda had me on my toes as well.. I've been cheated on in the past and have a hard time trusting someone / maintaining a certain level of trust but we talked about it and he was really sorry and all is good :)
By Anonymous - / Wednesday 17 May 2017 10:20 /
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By  Aziraya  |  18

It really comes down to one simple question: "Do you trust him?" If yes, then you don't have anything to fear and you can rest easy. If no, then you already have other big problems to worry about in your relationship.

By  Viewerv  |  2

I must confess I am not seeing the issue. You should be able to trust your boyfriend even around his ex. If you can't, I think there are bigger issues here.

Comments
By  Aziraya  |  18

It really comes down to one simple question: "Do you trust him?" If yes, then you don't have anything to fear and you can rest easy. If no, then you already have other big problems to worry about in your relationship.

By  Viewerv  |  2

I must confess I am not seeing the issue. You should be able to trust your boyfriend even around his ex. If you can't, I think there are bigger issues here.

By  Ewokhunter01  |  26

Has he ever done anything in the past to earn your distrust? If not, you do not need to worry. A lack of trust in a relationship shows deeper problems than just an ex-girlfriend being in the picture. Think on it before you act.

By  mariri9206  |  32

Trust your man. If you don't, Aziraya is completely right - you have bigger problems in your relationship, then.

By  superapple  |  21

OP here. My boyfriend and I haven't been together for long and as others have pointed out, the problem was that he didn't tell me straight up and I had to find out myself, which just made it look really really bad. He didn't tell me cause he didn't want me to feel bad throughout the whole time he was gone (he admitted he would've felt the same if it were the other way around and probably not talk to me for a while) but he didn't think far enough to come to the conclusion that I'd find out at some point (and probably start wondering why he chose to take his ex on all those trips). Now, apart from all that, he told me he doesn't believe in friendships between men and women as one of them is always looking for more than just that... apparently he only has one girl friend where the exception proves the rule, but that friend isn't his ex he took with him on the trip, so that kinda made me feel uncomfortable with the whole situation too. The fact that she talks about her miserable sex life and asks for advice from him kinda had me on my toes as well.. I've been cheated on in the past and have a hard time trusting someone / maintaining a certain level of trust but we talked about it and he was really sorry and all is good :)

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  Alexandria79  |  22

I recommend you give him space and don't ask about her on his trip. let him have a long leash. he will either return faithful or hang himself with it. when he returns be sure to treat him to an amazing no questions asked night. show him why dating you will always be the better option. guys like to be trusted. oh and while he's gone, go out with friends and do stuff so you have plenty to talk about. guys love it when their girls don't sit at home while they're out.

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  DraconicFeline  |  30

Oh, and maybe have a discussion with him about how the whole "guys and girls can't be just friends" thing is complete bullshit. If my fiancé and I chose to abide by that rule, we would each lose 90% of our friend circles.

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