Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their...

By Pissedoff777 - 12/08/2011 05:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 376

You deserved it 7 873

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Juiced - 26/09/2012 18:46 - United States - Denver

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 510

You deserved it 3 376

WTF dude?

By lunarstrain - 08/11/2011 06:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 123

You deserved it 8 538

Tasty!

By Username - 31/01/2011 15:47

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 082

You deserved it 5 725

By Anonymous - 10/04/2013 04:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 829

You deserved it 13 184

Thanks, I guess…

By edible - 20/05/2009 20:01 - United States

Today, I surprised my girlfriend by sending her an Edible Arrangement. When she called to tell me she had gotten it, she was more excited about the cute boy who'd delivered it than she was about the fruit bouquet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 546

You deserved it 4 087

Good one

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:06 - United Kingdom - London

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 294

You deserved it 4 385

Beautiful

By Anonymous - 10/05/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend wrote me poetry. Here's how it went: "Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poetry, show me your tits." That's the most romantic thing he's done for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 415

You deserved it 465

By Anonymous - 15/02/2014 22:44 - United States - Carlisle

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 797

You deserved it 8 815

By Noname - 16/01/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 622

You deserved it 6 658

By Anonymous - 20/09/2009 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 070

You deserved it 6 591

360XBOXFTW 0

Friday 12 August 2011 11:55

How sweet of him :)

toelie 26

Friday 12 August 2011 11:57

So, does it?

Comments

Eckristen 1

Friday 12 August 2011 14:47

haaaaa hahahaha! i get it. genius.

SunSHINEdasies 3

Friday 12 August 2011 14:50

Was it at least your favorite fruit? Lol my bf did the same thing for me, only it was to see if it actually works.

KiddNYC1O 20

Friday 12 August 2011 15:04

Warm fruit bukkake. Lol sounds like a dessert.

Furry_dude 6

Friday 12 August 2011 15:09

Now he'll taste fruity delicious!!

dancer10xoxo 5

Friday 12 August 2011 15:12

he must really love you.

crushedone 7

Friday 12 August 2011 15:14

Sounds like a win/win to me.

perdix 29

Friday 12 August 2011 15:20

Too bad the fruit he chose was durian -- now it's going to taste like you've blown a decomposing corpse.

KiddNYC1O 20

Friday 12 August 2011 15:41

Oh no, not durian.

MissRoxiie 12

Friday 12 August 2011 15:23

Poor girl =

LawlSack 0

Friday 12 August 2011 15:29

YDI for having a boyfriend

IPlayNakie 7

Friday 12 August 2011 15:37

I love How people like you have no life

izzabella43 0

Friday 12 August 2011 15:38

Ew canned fruit :P

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Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 020

You deserved it 3 408

Today, the soon-to-be father of my baby told me he thinks I'm an extremely selfish person, and that I don't love him. His reasoning? I haven't given him a back rub in two weeks, sleep too much, and have a hormonal problem. Once again: I AM PREGNANT! FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 093

You deserved it 5 867

The Top

Today, my 30 year-old boyfriend of 4 years OD'd on his mental health medication, resulting in a trip to the hospital. He said the experience was eye-opening and he wants to be 100% honest with me. He then said he wants to have sex with his biological mother, who he finally met last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 370

You deserved it 289

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 693

You deserved it 3 931

Today, the company I work for lost 3-weeks worth of time sheets, so we have to fill them all out again. I don't remember what I did yesterday, let alone three weeks ago. That's why I religiously fill out the time sheets in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 991

You deserved it 1 584

Today, I was alone in the house at night when I almost died of fright after seeing a woman staring at me through the window. I screamed before realizing that she was just my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 232

You deserved it 1 911

Today, my sister got her car insurance quote in the mail. You would think it would go way up after being charged with reckless driving. It went up $1 per month. My insurance went up $100 per month after I tapped someone's bumper a year ago. I wasn't even charged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 547

You deserved it 1 669

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 380

You deserved it 9 803