29
FML - The follow-up

Today, my boyfriend decided he preferred his other girlfriend. FML

Garnetshaddow Say more :
I am the OP, and very shocked this actually got published! (Though I HATE the GIF they chose... Can that get removed?) Basically, it's a shit situation all around. He knows her from his public speaking job, and she used to live out of state. He met me locally. He was going to tell her they were done the same day she told him she was job hunting in our state and moving to be closer. I did know pretty much the whole time. He kept setting deadlines on making a decision. Pretty much all of them were tied to whether or not she was actually moving here. This went on months. I finally told him he had to pick one girl to date... and he decided because she made the commitment of moving here from another state, she deserved at least a chance. Of course, he wants to be friends, wants to hang out, understands I won't wait but if things don't work out... I haven't heard from him since. I probably deserve it. I still feel like it's an FML.
By GarnetShaddow - / Wednesday 22 February 2017 23:21 / United States - Boulder
Add a comment
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account Sign in
Top comments
By  interesting33  |  42

based on what you wrote OP I think you deserve it and the other girlfriend deserves better than him. if he was going to break up with her then why did it matter if she moved to his state or not? I think you need to tell her about your relationship. she needs to know he was going to end it and that he was cheating on her. she sounds committed. don't let her commit, move away from family and friends without knowing the truth​!! this is from my very much outsider point of view. o don't know the context and who knows what I'd do in that situation so maybe I can't or should not judge. it sounds to me like he cheated on her and you knew and it was for months and she was really committed. Don't let her waste her life with him. tell her. she deserves to know.

Comments
Reply
  Cali  |  33

All hail the best comment!

By  Garnetshaddow  |  43

I am the OP, and very shocked this actually got published! (Though I HATE the GIF they chose... Can that get removed?) Basically, it's a shit situation all around. He knows her from his public speaking job, and she used to live out of state. He met me locally. He was going to tell her they were done the same day she told him she was job hunting in our state and moving to be closer. I did know pretty much the whole time. He kept setting deadlines on making a decision. Pretty much all of them were tied to whether or not she was actually moving here. This went on months. I finally told him he had to pick one girl to date... and he decided because she made the commitment of moving here from another state, she deserved at least a chance. Of course, he wants to be friends, wants to hang out, understands I won't wait but if things don't work out... I haven't heard from him since. I probably deserve it. I still feel like it's an FML.

Reply
  interesting33  |  43

based on what you wrote OP I think you deserve it and the other girlfriend deserves better than him. if he was going to break up with her then why did it matter if she moved to his state or not? I think you need to tell her about your relationship. she needs to know he was going to end it and that he was cheating on her. she sounds committed. don't let her commit, move away from family and friends without knowing the truth​!! this is from my very much outsider point of view. o don't know the context and who knows what I'd do in that situation so maybe I can't or should not judge. it sounds to me like he cheated on her and you knew and it was for months and she was really committed. Don't let her waste her life with him. tell her. she deserves to know.

Reply
  Garnetshaddow  |  43

We knew about each other. We've met! I think he kinda tried to talk her out of moving here. I don't know how happy he is now. I finally told him he had to pick one of us, and he decided on her. Because of the moving thing. It sucks. I do probably deserve it. All of us do. But FML because I really care about him still.

Reply

what? You two knew about each other and that he was dating both of you? Honestly, he sounds like an entitled prick who doesn't deserve either of you (and you two need to learn some self-respect). At least you're the lucky one who is not going to waste any more time with him. A guy who truly respects and loves you is not going to string you along like that.

Reply
  cocacola999  |  43

Not understanding all the hate towards OP and her arrangement. Many people date several people simultaneously before settling down; if everyone was aware of the situation, I don't think the guy did anything wrong. OP, I'm very sorry for you.

Reply
  jbuckets_404  |  43

OP: You certainly DON'T deserve it! Be grateful for having the courage to give him that ultimatum and for him choosing her since he obviously didn't care all that much about you. There's no telling whom else he might have cheated on you with had he picked you. It's better to wish that you were in a relationship than to wish that you weren't! :-)

Reply
  interesting33  |  43

if you knew about each other then I think that changes everything! it does suck OP to lose someone you care about and have invested in. I wish you luck for the future

Reply
  Garnetshaddow  |  43

I'm beginning to think I should have been more clear in my follow up. We decided early on that strict monogamy was not for us. There was *never* any cheating involved. Not a single instance. If you disagree with that, that is your preference. It isn't for everybody and I do not have to explain the dynamics to you. It got to a point where he wanted to be dating both of us, but it was becoming a strain. For my own stress levels, I needed to have a decision made. I still care about him. I actually still have to socialize with him. We're all in the same social circle and we'll be seeing each other at gatherings. My feelings are hurt, yes. I was certainly more pissed off when I posted this. Now it's just kinda sad. I'm getting over it. I certainly know I will not be dating anymore after this. I'm done.

By  Nnzyb  |  37

It may hurt now, but he's doing you a favor in the long run. Good luck finding a better partner in the future! I hope the other girl sees him for what he is, too.

Reply
  rifletwirler92  |  37

It doesn't sound like he's nice at all. It sounds like he played both of you like a fiddle, and now he's punishing you for making him choose. He still wants to keep you in his life? Probably as a side piece, or until you "decide" that you're "ok" with being in a relationship with a two timer. And would he be ok if you wanted to have a second boyfriend? Dude wants a harem. But good on you for standing up for yourself. Stay strong.

Reply
  Garnetshaddow  |  37

You would have to be in the middle of this to understand what a mess this truly is. He's not a "player." If you read my follow up comments, you might have seen that!

By  Mynxie  |  29

Why would you stay with a man you knew was dating a another woman and even had met her? You brought this upon yourself by staying with him. YDI

Loading data…