Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I planned on having sex because it's...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Samantha - 03/04/2016 16:18 - United States - Hackensack

Today, my boyfriend and I planned on having sex because it's been a while. I woke up with a stomach virus and my period. I almost threw up on his dick while going down on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

No comments yet.

Comments

No comments yet.

Keywords

Love Awkward Students Relatable Work Racism Cheating Health Relationship advice Pregnancy Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Revenge Food Cats Boredom Animals Management Sexism Kids Parenting Parents Miscellaneous Weird Job interview Facebook Social Media

The Top

Today, I began noticing a certain female name popping up on my husband’s social media notifications,so I asked him about it. He got irrationally upset at the fact that I pronounced her name wrong, told me she’s “nobody”, then said, “I hate it when you accuse me of shit!” I didn’t even accuse him of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 76

Today, I'm an ectomorph who struggles to gain, let alone maintain weight. Our politicians made food so much more expensive in the last three years, I can no longer afford a consistent amount of protein and to fill my fridge with vegetables. I can barely afford to make balanced meals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 130

The Top

Today, I attempted to have amazing birthday sex with my boyfriend in his dorm room. Everything was going great until we tried switching positions. I hit my head so hard on the bunk above his bed that I gave myself a concussion, and blacked out. Needless to say, the moment was ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 333

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 565

You deserved it 6 314

Today, an attention-seeking weirdo who thinks she's my friend asked me who was going to be the maid of honour at my wedding. Knowing what she was really asking, I said I just want a small, non-fancy wedding without bridesmaids. She broke down into a sobbing mess in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 106

You deserved it 2 093

Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 952

You deserved it 56 087

Today, after sweeping up a spill, I managed to break the cupboard door. With my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 770

You deserved it 537

Today, after I took my first set of exams, my professor posted on Twitter, scoffing at how stupid one student's answer was. The answer he quoted was one that I wrote. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 007

You deserved it 10 245