Miscellaneous: Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift,...

By Anonymous - 10/07/2015 22:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 644

You deserved it 2 792

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Same thing different taste

Happy birthday to me

By lukey101 - 20/07/2023 02:00 - Australia

Today, it’s my birthday. My boss treated me to a day off work, except my mother called at 12:01am drunk as hell screaming, “Happy birthday” down the phone. When I finally fell back asleep, I awoke to my boss asking me to come in after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 92

By Juanald - 05/11/2017 05:00

Today, after being moved to three different employer-provided apartments because they all had mold and electrical problems, I requested a bigger bed. The bed they delivered had bedbugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 657

You deserved it 377

Alexa, play "Unhappy Birthday" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 14:00 - Germany

Today, it's my birthday. I spent the day doing nothing but chores, amongst which baking my own birthday cake. I was then so exhausted that I couldn't even stand my own company, so I ate the cake alone on the couch, watching TV. It didn’t taste great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 166

By sambo99 - 25/10/2010 17:08 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 614

You deserved it 3 281

By Anonameow - 19/07/2016 13:49

Today, I woke up to an unexpected surprise for my birthday. It wasn't cake, nor ice cream. It was hundreds of baby spiders crawling all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 883

You deserved it 2 500

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 025

You deserved it 590

By Anonymous - 03/03/2011 14:21 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My parents, whom I live with, told me that they did not get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 131

You deserved it 8 324

Social safety nets, now!

By Anonymous - 26/08/2022 04:00 - Malta - Tarxien

Today, it was my birthday. I spent a pleasant day with one of my best friends, then I spent four hours in the emergency room because my husband broke his foot while working. We're both self-employed, so production is going to fall 6 weeks behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 110

By fml - 21/02/2015 02:54 - United States - Denver

Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 381

You deserved it 2 627

Nice way to end the day

By welp - 27/12/2015 05:08 - United States - Grass Lake

Today, I worked a short shift at work, getting sent home early because it was slow. In the time I was gone, my family decided surprise me by rearranging my room and put in my new desk. They also surprised me when I learned that they'd spilled a slushie on my very expensive computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 540

You deserved it 1 353

ChopSuey444 20

Saturday 11 July 2015 13:34

Happy birthday, anyway, OP!

MrConcise 34

Saturday 11 July 2015 15:50

Can I just spill your glass of water so it's empty instead of half full?

Comments

domolovesyoshi 33

Saturday 11 July 2015 17:37

Usually if the bed is infested so is the rest of the house, including the floor

Fmlreadermostly 20

Saturday 11 July 2015 18:59

Get diatomaceous earth. A mask and gloves to use it. It will help immensely

momo081 1

Saturday 11 July 2015 21:17

Happy birthday though things will get better

iPixelCheese 19

Saturday 11 July 2015 21:34

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

okaydisarray 17

Saturday 11 July 2015 22:07

Or it will be soon if he keeps sleeping someplace other than the bed. They will follow you OP....

diensthunds 8

Saturday 11 July 2015 22:22

Suck it up. Military members spend their birthdays in combat zones every day of the year.

limabeans101029 20

Saturday 11 July 2015 23:32

While that's a very horrible fact, that doesn't make OP's situation any better.

rohan111993 13

Saturday 11 July 2015 23:38

How can anyone say op deserves this without knowing they are a major dicksnatch on purpose?

supertacowaffle 41

Sunday 12 July 2015 0:57

Happy birthday OP, we have the same one :)

raysmith121 10

Sunday 12 July 2015 1:39

Welcome to adulthood

janfleury 19

Sunday 12 July 2015 5:01

Happy Birthday. I hope the coming year is much better.

Keywords

Video games Love Gamers Health Weird Gross First Dates Smells Technology Parents Annoying Kids Dogs Animals Jealousy AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Relatable Gun control Amazon Money Cute Birthday Awkward Abuse Scams Social Media

The Top

Today, I set aside a weekend to spend time with a friend. I learned that someone else is staying there: a fat, unemployed man-child who talks shit about us on Facebook, while his manipulative wife pays his bills. He got evicted from his last home when he pretended to be a ninja and cut up his neighbor's garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 72

Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 280

You deserved it 49 811

The Top

Today, my dad got me one of those word locks for my gym locker, for which the password had to be a four-letter word instead of numbers. My dad chose the combo for me. It was "diet". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 204

You deserved it 5 772

Today, I woke up and went to go have a shower. The trouble is, my bedroom door is broken and will no longer open. My mother's idea of helping was pushing a note under the door saying she'll be back in a couple of hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 430

You deserved it 2 538

Today, I was cashiering at a grocery store when an elderly woman came through my line buying prune juice. She then whispered to me that last time she bought it, she "blew up her toilet". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 584

You deserved it 2 878

Today, I had a customer propose to me. I work at Taco Bell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 102

Today, while working at Walmart, I was walking the sales floor and passed the end of an aisle. I saw a customer coming at me from the corner of my eye, so I jumped backwards. I hit a display case, and watched it topple over before turning to apologize to the customer. It was a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 085

You deserved it 10 001

Today, a creepy-looking guy asked me if I "like bananas" and I said no. He then followed with "Do you want to taste my banana?" Shocked by his boldness, I froze. My boyfriend, who had heard the entire exchange, just laughed and walked off, leaving me with the creeper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 238

You deserved it 517