Sex and Intimacy: Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my... - FML

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 05:43 - Canada

Spicy

Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 720

You deserved it 9 183

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 22:29 - Mexico - Mexico

Spicy

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 013

You deserved it 9 302

By maddie - 27/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 866

You deserved it 4 976

By DuChaillu - 27/01/2010 07:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 164

You deserved it 27 848

By Damn - 05/06/2012 19:36 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Spicy

Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 597

You deserved it 7 937

By sadgirl - 23/01/2009 16:52 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam. I was shaking my ass while taking off my panties, but when they fell to my feet, I tripped over them and fell on my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 911

You deserved it 56 246

Sensitive snowflake

By onepussytwopussy - 07/03/2014 19:47 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 396

You deserved it 26 440

By LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 702

You deserved it 7 859

Cool moves, bro

By Anonymous - 30/06/2012 09:45

Spicy

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 355

You deserved it 5 681

By purrykitty - 23/04/2011 20:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 867

You deserved it 40 773

You tried!

By Noname - 15/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 937

You deserved it 50 914

Next

Top comments

amayasoma 19

Friday 1 October 2010 12:16

Well now I know what not to for my boyfriend. Kiss his groin better.

mpclaw 3

Friday 1 October 2010 13:11

hey honey. it's the though that counts. a zillion guys would trade anyway,

Comments

Rawr_18 2

Saturday 2 October 2010 5:04

haha I laughed my ass of at this

chrissimmons 0

Saturday 2 October 2010 7:31

lmao sucks to you

El_Mero_Mero 0

Saturday 2 October 2010 7:56

yes I am! lol

someone3225 2

Saturday 2 October 2010 8:27

obviously you guys like it rough

thisguy44 0

Saturday 2 October 2010 9:51

yes he is! lol

TechnoTaco 0

Saturday 2 October 2010 12:14

yes we are

Andygk15 3

Saturday 2 October 2010 20:44

sexy

Mello016 0

Saturday 2 October 2010 21:00

haha im gona go out on a limb and say u didnt get laid

raulchavez56 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 3:13

oh wow you freakin gorgeous! haha

Critter456 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 8:11

I think u should get props for trying to spice things up... too bad it turned out the way it did though:(

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The Top

Today, one of my friends confessed his love for me and said he wanted to be more than friends. Jaded by guys who only wanted one thing, I pushed him away saying, “Oh really, is that what you think you need to say to get in my pants?” He frowned and stormed off. Later, I found out he really did want a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 839

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 018

You deserved it 3 408

The Top

Today, after I missed in school for two and a half weeks, I also missed three tests. Now I gotta work for all of them during my holidays and read two books for school. My holidays are just gonna be like school, but with more work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 765

Today, with the experience of sitting behind someone on a roller coaster, I found out pee is affected by gravity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 955

You deserved it 2 577

Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 498

You deserved it 173

Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 491

You deserved it 20 891

Today, I went to the grocery store where I work to pick up my pay check. After I got it, I headed back to the dorms to take a quick nap before Chemistry later. I woke up, and my check was gone. I later found it. In the form of a text from my roommate saying he gambled away 'our' money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 546

You deserved it 4 025

Today, I attended a formal dinner with donors to my university. While looking at a much older lady's nametag to see who she was, I was publicly accused of looking at her breasts. Now a bunch of people I was supposed to impress think I'm a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 053

You deserved it 649