Intimacy: Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game...

By Rosie - 13/06/2012 16:07 - Germany - Wesel

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 366

You deserved it 5 242

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Same thing different taste

By StiffPvtParts - 04/06/2019 18:00

Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 220

You deserved it 296

Talk to me baby

By fizzie101 - 18/10/2014 21:43 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 497

You deserved it 4 689

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 487

You deserved it 11 066

By Taylor - 21/04/2014 04:04 - United States - Dubuque

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 342

You deserved it 8 185

By doesnttastegood - 01/02/2010 10:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 624

You deserved it 13 956

By kylie - 10/08/2010 07:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 431

You deserved it 9 343

By urgg - 05/09/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 899

You deserved it 5 006

By coldwetnose - 09/05/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 214

You deserved it 18 906

By ps3isbetterthanme - 11/12/2009 16:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 903

You deserved it 4 313

Man City

By EpicBunBun - 10/05/2017 18:00

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, I thought he went to change the music on his phone. He'd actually stopped mid-action just to check sports scores. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 264

You deserved it 716

ADuckOnQuack_fml 0

Wednesday 13 June 2012 22:10

That is... ******* awesome.

tpuff 7

Wednesday 13 June 2012 22:09

Boss status

Comments

Wood1andcritter 3

Thursday 14 June 2012 1:42

I dont get how people put you deserved it, i dont see how she controlled it

foxmatrix15 8

Thursday 14 June 2012 1:43

Well?? did he win the game??

bworkman12 3

Thursday 14 June 2012 1:44

hilarious!

Chazyj 4

Thursday 14 June 2012 1:47

Personally would love to know the game he was playing lmao

AzzieC 12

Thursday 14 June 2012 1:57

........ AWESOME!!

AzzieC 12

Thursday 14 June 2012 1:58

And yet u touched the phone 2 put this FML

DollyDope 17

Thursday 14 June 2012 3:29

And why wouldn't she?

Stryker123 0

Thursday 14 June 2012 2:01

That is ******* hilarious.... Can't stop laughing

squarecircles 13

Thursday 14 June 2012 2:06

Betcha you won't find too many others with that kind of skill!

alejandrorockz 2

Thursday 14 June 2012 2:08

That's hot

Sw33ttp13 1

Thursday 14 June 2012 2:21

This is the best thing I've ever read ever.

Keywords

Gamers Love Video games Gross Weird Health First Dates Smells Technology Parents Kids Annoying Jealousy Animals Dogs AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Gun control Relatable Money Amazon Birthday Cute Awkward Abuse Scams Social Media

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You deserved it 139

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I agree, your life sucks 32 434

You deserved it 5 014

Today, I was in the shower 'grooming' myself for my second anniversary with my boyfriend. Halfway through the hot water ran out. I now have the choice of going with the low 'half-fro' or risking hypothermia. My boyfriend thinks hypothermia would be the better option. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 577

You deserved it 28 426

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I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 224

Today, as I stepped into the shower, I slipped and fell over the edge of the tub, pulling the shower curtain down with me. I called my roommate to help me up as I put on a towel over me. But before she could help me up, she grabbed her phone to take a picture. The picture became a mass text. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 772

You deserved it 3 739

Today, I was involved in a 5-way conversation about the movie Inception. I nodded and agreed with things that were said, but couldn't admit that despite having seen it 4 times, I still haven't the foggiest idea of how to explain what it's about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 602

You deserved it 21 635

Same thing different taste

Talk to me baby

Man City

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