Intimacy: Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game... - FML

By Rosie - 13/06/2012 16:07 - Germany - Wesel

Spicy

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 366

You deserved it 5 242

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By StiffPvtParts - 04/06/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 220

You deserved it 296

Talk to me baby

By fizzie101 - 18/10/2014 21:43 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 497

You deserved it 4 689

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 487

You deserved it 11 066

By Taylor - 21/04/2014 04:04 - United States - Dubuque

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 342

You deserved it 8 185

By doesnttastegood - 01/02/2010 10:23 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 624

You deserved it 13 956

By kylie - 10/08/2010 07:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 431

You deserved it 9 343

By urgg - 05/09/2010 14:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 899

You deserved it 5 006

By coldwetnose - 09/05/2011 06:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 214

You deserved it 18 906

By ps3isbetterthanme - 11/12/2009 16:44 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 903

You deserved it 4 313

Man City

By EpicBunBun - 10/05/2017 18:00

Spicy

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, I thought he went to change the music on his phone. He'd actually stopped mid-action just to check sports scores. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 264

You deserved it 716

Next

Top comments

ADuckOnQuack_fml 0

Wednesday 13 June 2012 22:10

That is... ******* awesome.

tpuff 7

Wednesday 13 June 2012 22:09

Boss status

Comments

jreaso01 4

Thursday 14 June 2012 2:44

I would have thought there would be more small dick jokes...must be a lot of little guys on this site...

Ray_of_midnight 22

Thursday 14 June 2012 2:49

"Can you type out an entire FML with your penis?" "Uh, not right now?" "Too bad. A girl's gotta have her standards."

jmac2787 0

Thursday 14 June 2012 2:50

Are you sure it didn't tell him to use his penis

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Thursday 14 June 2012 2:57

So? I'm sure you've already touched his penis, and of course you've touched your phone. Not that big of a deal. Just wipe it off if it bothers you. What game was it? :D

1LuvsU 1

Thursday 14 June 2012 3:01

I would actually laugh at that. my boyfriend and I are comfortable and we do weird things to mess with each other and if he was to do that I would just crack up! :) and it can be cleaned if needed!

SPSugarShorts 4

Thursday 14 June 2012 3:02

You should have put FML because you have a boyfriend that has a penis the size of a stylus...

sniipe1617 4

Thursday 14 June 2012 3:03

Who hasn't done that

Ajwc101 24

Thursday 14 June 2012 3:09

I have to try this. Your boyfriend has ?kî??š.

davide223 0

Thursday 14 June 2012 3:30

Dayum is he black???

isaiaah 6

Thursday 14 June 2012 3:39

At least you didn't wake up naked and him taking pictures of you.

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Keywords

Love Video games Gamers Health Gross Weird First Dates Smells Parents Technology Kids Annoying Animals Dogs Jealousy AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Relatable Gun control Money Amazon Birthday Cute Awkward Abuse Social Media Scams

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