Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my...

By emperor - 21/07/2009 05:38 - Bangladesh

Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 487

You deserved it 30 657

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Same thing different taste

Kill it with fire

By Anonymous - 31/05/2022 06:00 - Germany - Moormerland

Today, my dad reactivated a digital clock we had lying around, and accidentally set an alarm on it. For 1 a.m.. So guess who went hunting for that noise in the middle of night. And guess who banished the thing to the living room, then forgot about it, and slept on the sofa in said living room. Or tried to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 211

You're in the army now, oh ohoh

By Anonymous - 01/07/2020 17:03

Today, my dad set the smoke alarm off at 6 a.m. as a "practice drill." I was woken up so suddenly, I fell out of bed into the bucket of sick I had been throwing up into the night before due to flu. Dad yelled at me for not getting out of the house in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 659

You deserved it 146

Earplugs

By Anonymous - 21/07/2023 22:00 - Canada - Halifax

Today, at around 12 a.m. I went to bed, happy that I get to sleep in because I had nowhere be in the morning. Sadly that came to an end when I woke up around 7 a.m. to my mom coming home and screaming because she saw a mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 654

You deserved it 84

By Anonymous - 28/12/2013 00:05 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 205

You deserved it 3 810

By poop - 28/02/2012 07:10 - United States

Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 865

You deserved it 12 980

Panic in the sheets

By Anonymous - 02/09/2018 03:30

Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 557

You deserved it 244

Trashy

By Anonymous - 07/03/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, after my dad insisted that the trash go out last night, even though I always take it out in the morning because of the stray dog problem in our neighborhood, I took it anyway to appease him. He woke me up banging on my door and screaming because the strays had thrown the trash all over the road in the night, and he blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 69

By Username - 04/04/2011 17:36 - United States

Today, my dad woke me up for the second time to get me ready for school. Wanting me to prove I was really awake, he made me sit up. As soon as he left my room, I dozed off and faceplanted my nightstand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 297

You deserved it 44 525

By Crippled - 27/12/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, my parents bought me an alarm clock that runs away from you while beeping obnoxiously when you hit snooze. I just had ankle surgery and am unable to walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 658

You deserved it 2 890

By fml - 20/05/2010 21:32 - Canada

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 983

You deserved it 7 608

RitzyHoke 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 12:07

Your dad ROCKS. Period.

lottofee 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 12:04

muhaha i love your dad!

Comments

g00nie 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 19:30

hahahahahaha I'm sorry, but thats freaking hilarious

Nakedsquirrel 5

Tuesday 21 July 2009 19:39

Awesome dad. Way to nip the problem in the bud! Not like you have any intention of putting an end to your own irresponsibility yourself, right?

cuterthanuthink 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 19:43

well look on the brightside. did it work?

acranine11 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 19:44

Well it worked didn't it

djb23 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 21:14

look on the bright side, at least it wasn't a bear trap..

craigahh 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 21:26

Be glad it wasn't a rat trap.

Shyman4ever 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 21:44

Wow, just go to bed earlier so you don't have to snooze noob

Gaby_peaceandluv 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 21:59

But were you late ..... ? I think your Dad deserves a thank you (: haha

tagyoureit 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 22:11

Yeah. Parents have awesome senses of humor.

anjay67 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 22:11

damn... foreign parents are bitches....

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The Top

Today, I found out that I didn't get a job because I failed the psychological analysis. It told me to answer each question and tell the truth. So I did. I asked my friend, who got the job, if she told the truth. She said no. Apparently you have to lie in order to get a job. Sorry for being honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 504

You deserved it 7 861

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and I was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 762

You deserved it 15 564

The Top

Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 844

You deserved it 6 246

Today, my first grade student apologized for cutting his bangs off in class, and explained that it was his mom's birthday and he had wanted to make her an origami flower. Out of his hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 118

You deserved it 677

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 302

You deserved it 3 508

Today, I woke up to my husband peeing on the floor. He managed to pee in two open clothes drawers and on the pants I was going to wear to work tomorrow. Before I left earlier he promised he wouldn't get smashed tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 670

You deserved it 1 406

Today, my boss came to my cubicle to give me my annual performance bonus. I was asleep at my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 439

You deserved it 62 198

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 365

You deserved it 4 151